


The professor, the old crush, the new love

by AccroV



Series: Professors and love [1]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Alternative Universe - Human, Developing Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, First Kiss, First Time Together, Fluffy fiction, From high school best friends to nothing to friends to lovers, Love Confession, Multi, One bad event in High school, Professors, Romantic Tension, Sexual Tension, University
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-22
Updated: 2020-07-09
Packaged: 2020-07-11 13:16:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 27
Words: 87,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19928674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AccroV/pseuds/AccroV
Summary: Aziraphale Fell is an english literature professor who freaks out when he discovers that his new colleague is his ex best-friend and crush from high school : the one and only  Anthony Crowley. They didn't talk for years after one night in high school. What can happen now ?An AU with : high school memories, awkward flirting and lot of good feelingsCHAPTER 27 IS ALMOST THERE =DDDD





	1. Do you know the new handsome professor ?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aziraphale discovers that his new colleague is his old crush from high school.
> 
> No TW

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is based on the french education system ! If you have questions, please ask !

The university world is a small world and the arrival of new professors is always expected. Aziraphale arrived at the meeting of the professoes excited to meet his new colleagues and see some of the old ones. He had taken advantage of the summer breaj to relax, read some of the books that had accumulated on his bedside table and, above all, he had devoted time to his own writing. His research work had not been his priority, but he didn't blame himself. He had been able to write a lot of his story and was coming back fresh and available for a new year.

Aziraphale Fell or rather Ezra or rather Professor Fell was a renowned English literature professor in the university. He was loved by his students for the most part. Literature studies were only of interest to particular profiles anyway. He knew the names of all the students in all his classes. He had the reputation to give severe but fair marks. Bets were open on his age among the students. Between his face, his hair and his look, it was difficult to know. He had a soft, round face, blond hair that was almost white and always wore a light suit, most often beige with tartan bow ties. Most of them were gifts from his students. Each of his promotions (or almost, the year 2010 had not gone very well) had offered him one which had led him to have a beautiful collection. 

On that day of meeting with all the professors of the university in the university's largest place, Aziraphale was anxious. His promotion was to be announced in front of all his colleagues. He didn’t like this exhibition, to show his success. Anathema often said that he was far too humble. Certainly, he had excellent results, published articles, manuals etc but he did not like to be put forward. It wasn't his nature. He greatly preferred the comfort of his apartment with tea and a book, or even the subdued atmosphere of his small classroom, and, of course, above all, the university library. 

He arrived in the amphitheater and was not surprised to find the professors separated by department. An ancient war existed between the literature department and the scientific department led respectively by Gabriel Arcan and Belle Thebub. All the professors thought that there had to be more than just disagreements about budget to have such a war between departments. No one had dared to question them. The professors in the science department were always kind of assholes towards the professors of the literature sections. The budgets allocated to their research were disproportionate. They had better rooms for their classes, offices and advantages in general. Aziraphale felt very far from all this but, more out of obligation to his colleagues than for any other reason, he defended his department as soon as he could before the university authorities.

He spotted Anathema and went to sit beside her. Anathema Device was one of her former students. She was a brilliant woman who was passionate about various subjects but specialized in feminist literature. Her work was focused in particular on gender studies in Anglo-Saxon literature. They had become friends after years of collaboration on her thesis. He had been pleased when he learned that she had obtained a position in the university three years earlier. 

"Aziraphale, I'm so glad to see you! »

They had met a few days earlier to have tea and discuss their future year. Well, that's what was originally planned. Anathema had arrived late and her eyes were puffy. She and Newt had broken up. There were no particular reasons other than the fact that it no longer worked between them. They had met at the end of high school and since then they had each taken different paths. Newton had decided to go to an engineering school. Computer science was his only real passion and Anathema needed more. She talked a lot to Aziraphale about them. She also cried a lot. Aziraphale had listened and comforted her as much as possible. He had called her every day since then, but they hadn't had time to see each other until today.

"Anathema, how are you, my dear?”

"Better, thank you. So, nervous? “

"No, not particularly. I'm just changing my status and having a little more responsibility. In the end, Gabriel will always have the last word. I just hope the President doesn't make me stand on the stage. As much as being in front of my classes doesn't bother me at all, I'm not really comfortable with our colleagues. » 

"She brings up only the new colleagues. We don't have any new professors in our department. I heard there was a new arrival among the scientists, however. »

Anathema stopped there because the President had just arrived on the stage. The meeting was held in the most beautiful class of the university. Behind the President, a huge painting took over the upper part of the wall. The round structure of the room made it majestic. The President's arrival stopped all conversations. She was the god on earth or rather the god of the university. Her nickname was due to her name, a French one, Dieu, but also because she knew absolutely everything that was going on in her university. She knew the names of the students she met in the corridors, all the professors. No one knew her secret. She must have been omnipotent.

"Dear colleagues, dear professors, dear members of the administration, I thank you all for coming today for our back-to-school meeting. First of all, I would like to wish you all the best for this new year. I am confident that this year will once again be rich both in your personal and joint work and in the success of our students, whom we all care about.” 

The President continued her speech on the new features of the university, the projects on the campus and in particular the work on the second building. The professors' room had also apparently been refurbished during the holidays. Everyone applauded. Then came the moment that Aziraphale feared above all, the changes in status and newcomers.

"As President of the University, I would like to congratulate our colleagues on their various promotions. I am delighted to inform you that Mrs Tracy, some of whom you know as Secretary of the Literature Department, will now be in the Presidency as Head of the Administration of the Presidency. " The president continued to promote all the professors and administrators who had been promoted. Each one was greeted by applause from all colleagues. "Professor Fell will now head the Anglophone literature section of the Literature and Humanities Department following Professor James' retirement."

The colleagues applauded and Aziraphale could not help but blush. Anathema winked at him. The teacher listened with only one ear until the end of the list of the various promotions.

"Finally, I would like to end by asking you to welcome our latest addition to the university. We are very proud that he has chosen to join our institution: Professor Anthony Crowley. Professor, if you would join me in introducing yourself to our colleagues.”

Aziraphale jumped when he heard the name. Anathema turned to him and was surprised to see his friend with his mouth open with an expression of shock in his eyes. The professor arrived on the stage and shook the President's hand. The first thing she noticed was his sunglasses, which he even wore inside and especially in front of the President. The second thing was his hair. His hair was red hair with curls coming under his shoulders. He wore black jeans and a shirt of the same color unbuttoned on three buttons. She elbowed Aziraphale slightly and looked at him. He quickly turned but ignored her.

"Thank you, Madam President. Dear colleagues, dear professors, dear members of the administration, I am Anthony Crowley, PhD, I am specialized physics and astronomy. Thank you for your welcome. 

He nodded quickly and returned the microphone to the President. The whole room applauded him. Aziraphale did not react during the applause but also when the President thanked them all in order to finish the meeting. He followed with his eyes the professor who had just introduced himself and who had returned to sit down with his department. He didn't even realize that people around him were starting to leave because he was so focused.

"Aziraphale, the meeting is over. It's time to move on. " She followed her friend's gaze and understood that he had not taken his eyes off the new teacher. "Ezra, do you know the new handsome astrophysicist? » 

He finally turned to her, pink cheeks. 

"Anathema, do you remember the time I told you about my high school crush that I never heard from again. It's him..." 

"Ooohhhhh" was all Anathema replied. The year promised to be interesting!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys, 
> 
> New story for me because I wanted an alternative universe so badly. I hope to post two chapters per week. I will change the POV and of course, we will have a lot of high school memories. 
> 
> The class I tried to describe is "l'amphithéâtre richelieu de la sorbonne". Check it, it's a wonderful place. 
> 
> Kudos and comments make my life <3


	2. Did you miss me, angel ?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anthony Crowley meets his old friend at his new job. We take a walk to memory lane and the first time they spoke in high school. 
> 
> TW homophobia / TW transphobia (only mentionned)

It was obvious that Anthony J. Crowley (whatever that J standed for) knew that Aziraphale was a professor at the university he had decided to join. He was living in the 21st century after all. With Internet, it was easy to know everything that was happening in someone's life even if you hadn't talked to each other since, let's say randomly, high school. Aziraphale was not on social medias. Crowley had checked all of them: facebook, twitter, linkedin. No, nothing, obviously he wasn't going to be able to talk to him like that again. From time to time, during the years that had separated them, he did a little google research to find out what was happening to his former friend. He had been happy to learn that he had continued his studies and succeeded. Once, he had been tempted to go to a public conference organized by Aziraphale on Oscar Wilde. He had quickly driven this idea out of his head. After so many years without saying anything to each other, he didn't feel like trying to reconnect.

Professor Crowley had had a hectic life during his post high school years. After choosing to pursue his studies in the field of science, he quickly became bored. Biology was not for him apparently despite his deep love for plants. So, he decided to drop out of college. He had done little jobs, traveled. He lived the dream, like they said. He had a snake tattooed near one of his temples. His mother had still not recovered. Finally, after three years, he returned to school to pursue his dream of learning more about the stars. Once he had set that goal, he didn't stop. He started all over again and succeeded in obtaining his doctorate.

\----------- 

His high school teachers would surely have been surprised to learn that young Crowley (everyone called him by his last name) had done so well. The success of Aziraphale, on the contrary, was written in advance. They formed an atypical duo during their high school years. Aziraphale was the good student who loved to do his homeworks and was friend with the librarian. He was tall, with white hair and he was so soft while Crowley was smaller, redhead and very angular.

They had become friends by chance. Anthony had met him once in the high school library. For exactly what reason he had decided to go there remained one of the great questions of the universe. He didn't particularly like to read. Maybe it was to take refuge... 

His look was atypical at that time (more so than now... He had to conform, a little, to university standards). Crowley loved different people. He was himself. He already wore his long hair, black clothes and sometimes even dresses and make-up. The day he met Aziraphale was one of those days. He didn’t remember his outfit, but he remembered the mascara and lipstick. He had been bullied all morning on how he dressed, how he put on makeup, for who he was. He had fought against himself not to hit anyone. People thought they were insulting him by telling him that he looked gay or that he looked like a girl when he had no problem with either.

He had already spotted the blond before. They had some classes together but they had never really talked. He had very naturally gone to see him as if they had known each other for a long time.

"Hey, what are you reading?"

The tall blond guy looked at him quickly. Unlike other high school students, he didn't react to Crowley's outfit. He only smiled at him and turned the cover of his book towards him.

"Hello. Oscar Wilde, the picture of Dorian Grey.”

"Don't know. Is that good? " He added quickly before the other had time to answer. "My name is Anthony, by the way.”

"Very, here if you want to read the summary" He handed him the book "Aziraphale.” 

Anthony examined the book. The summary sounded interesting. He wasn't a fan of reading but after all, why not.

"Aziraphale... Never heard such a name. Does it have any meaning?” 

"It's an angel's name. No one wears it. My parents are a little... special. You can call me Ezra if you want. Everyone calls me that."

"I like special people. And an angel's name suits you, angel. »

The nickname came naturally, and made Aziraphale smile. He really had a smile that matched his name, Anthony thought. He looked like an angel when he smiled.

"I imagine," replied Aziraphale. "I hope I'm not being indelicate in asking you this, but uh... I'd rather ask than regret it later. What are your pronouns?”

The young redhead looked at Aziraphale with big eyes. It was the first time anyone had ever asked him for his pronouns. He had never thought of changing them according to the way he dressed. He was going to think about it. He wasn't as “woke” as he thought he was.

"Um... I never really thought about it, actually. The male pronouns will be fine for now. Uh.... Thank you. "

"Oh don't thank me, it's normal. I guess it must be hard sometimes, to express yourself like you do."

"It's also very liberating. Besides, I don't give a shit about what others think of me!”

Aziraphale laughed at this comment. His laughter was sweet and Anthony promised to make him laugh more often.

"I can only imagine.”

At the time, Crowley did not notice what the angel boy said thinking how much he looked like an angel. He would later discover why he had said that. For the time being, he thought that he would like to become friends with the person in front of him.

They were going to discover a lot about each other. One day, Anthony would outgrow Aziraphale in size and not let go of him on this. One evening, he would comfort his friend after his dog's death. He would read books to please him. He would be invited into his family as if he were part of it. Their friendship would be intense, sometimes complicated. Three years of friendship with its ups and downs. And then, one evening everything would change and he would have to wait to become a teacher to talk to him again. Anthony didn't know all this yet. He just proposed a lunch.

"Hey, you want to come for lunch with me?"

\-----

After the meeting and his speach in front of his colleagues, and Satan helps him, he hated passing in front of such a large crowd, Anthony pretended not to notice Aziraphale in the room. Above all, he pretended not to notice that his former friend had his eyes completely on him. He seemed to be accompanied by a young woman. He wasn't going to try to talk to him now, with all the other professors around them. He spent time with his new colleagues over a drink planned by the dean to thank them all for coming to the meeting. Crowley tried to ignore Aziraphale and his gaze. After a while, their eyes met because he couldn’t holding out any longer. He nodded discreetly to Aziraphale, telling him to follow him as he did in high school. He left for his office. He was stressed, not knowing what to expect after so many separate years. He regretted so many things. He looked at his feet until the steps that were coming towards him stopped. He looked up at that moment to meet the blue of his friend's eyes. He tried to smile.

"Hello, Angel. It's been a long time. Did you miss me?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, so a bit of high school in this chapter. I like the alternative POV. 
> 
> What do you think Aziraphale will do ? What happened ? I take the bets. 
> 
> I have other stories if you are interested check it :D 
> 
> Thanks for your reading and support <3
> 
> English isn't my first language so sorry for the mistakes.


	3. Do you want to go on a date, with me ?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aziraphale has a lot of feelings from seeing Anthony again. He doesn't expect to be asked to go on a date. This is maybe the worst day ever. 
> 
> TW fatphobia (mention only)

Aziraphale had not taken his eyes off him since he saw the ghost of his past emerge in the form of a new colleague in front of him. He had to join the other teachers for a drink and pretend to listen to them. In truth, he was completely absorbed by the red hair of his old crush. Anathema, having understood the state in which his friend was, protected him from attempts at discussion by other members of the department. She did her best but Gabriel managed to come by to talk to Aziraphale and remind him of their meeting. 

"Aziraphale, Aziraphale, earth to Aziraphale, don't forget our meeting in an hour!" Gabriel could be so rude !

Aziraphale vaguely grumbled an apology seeing that Anthony had met his eyes. The latter nodded quickly. Memories came to the surface immediately. The professor thought he had forgotten all those times when his friend, crossing his eyes, nodded at him and said, "Come on, I have to talk to you" or just "follow me and let’s get the fuck out of here". He answered in the same way as during their teenage years. Old habits didn’t die apparentely. He took Anathema by the arm and whispered to her that he was coming back. He followed Crowley just like in the old days.

He had imagined their reunion a bunch of times. He had often wondered what was happening to his friend. He missed his friendship, but also his laughter, his passions. They had shared so much together after all. He had wanted to call her several times. No one was changing numbers after all, he could have tried. He had typed messages over and over again over the years. He never sent them. He simply looked his social medias from time to time, to see if he was active and doing well. Aziraphale himself had an account under another name so he knew nobody could find him on it. However, he had never dared to click to send an invitation. After all, Crowley hadn't contacted him...

Seeing him again was less painful than he had thought. He was just sincerely happy. Water had flowed under the bridges, as they say, and he had no anger or resentment in him. The only thing that remained was the light noise from the pain of losing him. In the first few weeks without him, Aziraphale had the impression of losing himself. He was inconsolable. His parents had tried to talk to him, but he had remained silent. At that time, he decided to build walls around his feelings. He never wanted to feel like that again. He had only been friends with Anthony, he didn't dare to imagine what a romantic break-up would have been like when the friendly break-up had already torn his guts so deeply. Time had finally healed this wound. He only had a small scar left. The walls, however, had been erected and remained. 

When he found himself facing Crowley and hearing him for the first time in all these years, Aziraphale simply smiled. For a moment, he was stressed, wondering how things were going to turn out. Fortunately, Anthony remained Anthony, always calm and cool on the surface. This reassured Aziraphale.

"Hello, Angel. It's been a long time. Did you miss me?" 

"Anthony, I'm very happy to see you again. Congratulations on your position and your doctorate. You must be very glade and your parents very proud.”

He noticed the snake tattooed near his old friend's temple. He wondered how he got it. The story had to be worth hearing. 

"Yes, angel. They are. They told me to say hello when I see you. »

_Oh_ , thought Aziraphale, _he had told his parents that they would meet again. So today was no surprise to him._

"Oh, you will say hello to them for me and I hope they are fine " Crowley's family had been like a second family to him, losing them so suddenly without saying goodbye had been difficult. Not as much as losing your friend, but it added to the general pain. "Congratulations again and, well, welcome.”

"I will Aziraphale. And thank you.”

They remained silent for a few moments. Aziraphale didn't know what to say and when he didn't know, he preferred to keep quiet. During these few seconds, he took the time to look at his new colleague. Outside the tattoo, his hair had embellished when it seemed impossible. He had remained the same physically. However, the details of his jaw were more pronounced. He looked "very manly". It was strange to see him, not just in a picture but in front of him.

Seeing the little change in Crowley was a slap in the face of Aziraphale. He had gained weight compared to high school. He was softer than before, that was for sure. He liked his looks like that, it wasn't a problem for him. In high school, he was a little bit bullied for it. Now, he was perfectly happy with himself, thanks body empowerment. However, he found himself wondering what the man with the perfect physique, after having been the boy with the perfect physique according to him, was thinking of his appearance. It was silly to ask this question when it was obvious that Crowley had never paid attention to him like this. The atmosphere was starting to get heavy. Aziraphale decided to break the silence.

"I'm sorry Anthony, I have to go, I have a back-to-school meeting with the head of my department and some colleagues. I have to get my documents back, read them again, in short the daily life of a teacher." He thought ‘ _Stop talking, you'll end up making a fool of yourself_ ’. "Have a nice day.” Yeah, old habits didn't die ...

He started leaving when an "Angel?" made him turn around. Crowley looked at him, his lips pressed as he did when he was stressed as a teenager. Did he always do that?

"Lunch, together?"suggested Crowley. 

Aziraphale thought about their first lunch together after they met at the library. He had been talking to Anthony about his favorite authors all the time. The red-haired teenager had mainly listened to him and Aziraphale was afraid to scare him away. He didn’t. Crowley had listened to him and tried to take mental notes of all the authors Aziraphale had quoted to him. At the end of lunch, he confessed that he didn’t remember anything, other than Oscar Wilde, but that he would like a list of readings. In exchange, he promised the young angel to send him the names of his favorite groups. Anthony had asked him for his phone number. Aziraphale still remembered his friend's head when he took a nokia 3310 out of his bag and asked him to write his number directly inside. It was the first time, not the last time, that the redhead made fun of his aversion to technology. He began to smile thinking that the first thing his ex-friend asked him was the first thing his new friend had asked him.

"I don't know if I'll be out of a meeting by lunch time. If you wish you can send me a text. I have the same number. Or an email. I had to start working on it, you know. I'm in the university's contact list. See you later, my dear fellow.” 

He was nervous again and decided to leave without waiting for an answer from Anthony. He would see soon enough if he decided to send him a message or not. When he took his phone to check the time, he noticed that he just had time to stop by his office and quickly reread the questions he had for the meeting. Anathema had also written to him. `

**Anathema:** SOOOOOO??????

**Anathema:** How is the reunion going?

**Anathema:** I want to know everything tonight!

Aziraphale quickly replied that everything had gone well and that he would call her tonight if he had time. Of course, he didn't have anything special to do that night, but he felt he would need to relax. Seeing Anthony again had been easier than expected but if he had to be honest with himself, he was full of feelings. A good book and tea should help to evacuate all this.

When he arrived at his desk, he decided to put all his thoughts aside. He was going to attend his first meeting as head of section and he wanted to make a good impression especially with Gabriel. Gabriel was almost like his boss, very strict and demanding. Aziraphale had heard some students talk about his classes and they seemed to think of him as a tyrant. His relationship with Gabriel was cordial, a simple relationship between colleagues. They were going to have to see each other much more often from now on. One last look at his emails and he was ready to go. He had a new email and recognized the sender just by the subject of the email. He decided to read it.

**From:** a.crowley@u-uni.fr

**To:** a.fell@u-uni.fr

**Object:** Lunch? Dinner?

After I checked my phone, I don't have your number anymore. Here is mine: +336XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Let me know when you're available.

_XOXO Anthony_

**From:** a.fell@u-uni.fr

**To:** a.crowley@u-uni.fr

**Re:** Lunch ? Diner ?

Dear Anthony,

I received your email. I'll send you a message as soon as I get a better view of my schedule.

Please accept my best regards.

_Professor Fell - PhD_

He should not have checked his emails before leaving because Aziraphale was completely elsewhere during the first part of the meeting. Fortunately, his colleagues had a lot of questions. He went unnoticed. He pretended to be interested in what was happening when he had to intervene to talk about the new diploma introduced this year. Apart from that, he thought of Anthony. After a while, he noticed that Gabriel looked at him often. He seemed exasperated. Aziraphale concentrated on following the rest. Once the meeting was over, Gabriel waved at him and invited him to stay. Ezra waited until he had finished talking to one of their colleagues. He took the opportunity to check his phone. Of course, lunchtime was well past. He typed a quick message to Anthony " _Sorry, still in a meeting_.” He hated when he had to write informal email !

Gabriel finally joined him and gave him a smile that Aziraphale could hardly interpret. The professor seemed uncomfortable. Yet Gabriel was the stereotype of the handsome man, confident, always well dressed and styled with a deep and sweet voice. At the last university Christmas celebration, Gabriel and Aziraphale apparently kissed each other quickly. They had been under the mistletoe at the same time and with the alcohol and other colleagues who encouraged them, they had exchanged a quick smack. They had never really talked about it again. Fortunately, Aziraphale had thought. If Anathema had not confirmed this story to him, he would not have believed it.

"Aziraphale, thank you for waiting for me. I wanted to know if you were doing well and to make sure that if you had any questions for me, regarding your position, I am obviously here to help you.”

"Thank you Gabriel." Aziraphale wondered why Gabriel was so sympathetic to him when, usually, he tended to be very cold with all his colleagues. "I will not hesitate.”

"I saw that you had spoken with the new professor. Do you know each other? Personally?”

"Um, yes, he's an old high school friend.”

"Okay, okay, okay, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool."

"Gabriel, was that all you had to ask me? I would like to go to my office.”

Aziraphale felt a tension emanating from the teacher in front of him. Maybe, he had done something on his very first day! He could be a bad professor sometimes. He loved his students to much. He wasn’t interested about the war between the departments. 

"No, no, no, that wasn't all. I also wanted to invite you to dinner. A date, actually." Aziraphale didn’t react, taking the time to assimilate this request. Gabriel, uncomfortable, added, "There is no problem with the university policy and well, I would like to take you on a date.”

Aziraphale declared in his head that this day was possibly the worst of his adult life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, 
> 
> Thank you for your comments and kudos and subscriptions. All your support is very important to me. Especially when I struggle with a chapter like this one. This chapter was hard to write !
> 
> I must confess that I didn't expected this first scene to take three chapters ... But I think exploring their feelings was important. I hope you enjoyed it ! 
> 
> I'm going to mix the present timeline and the high school timeline I think in the next chapters. 
> 
> If you have suggestions, comments, share with me =D Also, share your own good omens contents with me =D


	4. Do you want to watch a movie together ?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An high school chapter : POV Crowley
> 
> Aziraphale and Anthony want to watch a movie together. Here is some fluffy friendship and supportive parents for a (futur) genderfluid Crowley :D
> 
> No TW here only supportive parents !!!!!

Becoming friends with Aziraphale had been much easier than Crowley had anticipated. He had never really been the type to have close friends. People in general were too... basic. He liked teenagers moderately. Adults were often too closed-minded. The few people he really got along with were the children. He had started babysitting for his little cousin the summer before high school and he liked the simplicity of their relationship. His cousin didn't ask questions when he tied his hair in a bun and put on lipstick. Most of the time, she would ask him to do her makeup. They spent their afternoons together drawing or playing and everything was so much easier with her. Anthony was wondering at the time if he wasn't going to try to stay in as much contact with the children as possible when he grew up. Perhaps he could do a job related to early childhood? His career would take a completely different turn but he would still be comfortable with them.

He didn't know what attracted him so much to the young blond boy. There was an aura of kindness emanating from him. He had listened to him talk all lunch about the authors he loved and he had never had a better time. He laughed when he saw Ezra's phone. They were sure to become great friends during their high school.

They often had a common course during the day or two. So, they often saw each other and spent their time between the refectory and the library. Crowley tried to read as often as possible to advance Oscar Wilde but it was definitely not his favorite. He tended to scatter. He loved to draw (he had discovered this with his cousin during his many bay-sitting sessions) but also plants, stars, music. Ooh, and the snakes too! He was desperately trying to convince his parents to have one, but the only answer was one word, always pronounced the same way: No!

Between all his hobbies and homework, he had little time to read. He hoped not to hurt his new friend too much when he told him after a month that he had not finished the book and had to return it to the library. Of course, nothing could displease his new friend. However, he promised to borrow it again and to watch the adaptation in film until then. 

"Do you want to come to my house this weekend and watch the movie together? "asked Crowley, "I could also make you listen to the bands I told you about! I could probably ask my mother for burgers!”

Aziraphale had gladly accepted on the condition that his parents would agree. He didn't seem certain that this would be the case. Which parents would not let their son go to his friend's house on a day without school? What were they, torturers? Was Aziraphale locked up by his parents until he had finished his homework while he had so great grades (ok not so much in science)? Since they met a few weeks ago, his friend had never really told him about his parents when Crowley complained almost every week that his parents (actually her mother and stepfather if you want to know everything) didn't want a snake.

The Fell parents had agreed to have their son come on Saturday but he had to be home by 5 p.m. (the theory of torturers was confirmed in Crowley's eyes). So, they decided to have lunch together at Anthony's with his parents. When Crowley opened the door, he found himself in front of a tall blond man, wearing a bow tie and flowers in his hands. This made him smile, that is, slightly raise the corner of his lips. He didn't really like to show his emotions. 

"Nice bow tie! My mother will love you with the flowers.”

"My parents would never have let me come without bringing something. " He must live in a rich family. It's not possible to be so old-fashioned ..." I really like your dress.”

Anthony had decided to wear a dress today. The dress was too... feminine to wear at school so he wore it on weekends. He didn't want to hide from Aziraphale so he was glad that his friend like is taste in dress. It was a simple black dress with straps, reaching below the knees. It started close to the body and from the waist up went in a bell that he had accentuated by putting a petticoat underneath.

"Thank you! My mother bought it for me and my father, well my stepfather but it's my father, advised me to put it with an underskirt. I'd like wear it at school, but ... anyway. Come in, come in. My parents are very happy to meet you. » 

Of course, his new friend made a big impression on his parents between his manners, the flowers, and the bow tie. No, but seriously a bow tie. They all ate burgers prepared by Anthony's mother before going up to Anthony's room to watch the film.

"Sorry about the mess." Anthony said, knowing fully well that his room was rather tidy but always afraid to scare people away with his posters all over the walls, his astronomy books all over the place and his drawing sheets on his desk.

"If you think your room isn't tidy, you can't see mine at all.”

"You can sit on my bed... I mean, if you want. I'm gonna put my computer on so we can watch the movie.” 

Crowley started to prepare his computer while Aziraphale took the time to look at his room. He hadn't had anyone in his room for a long time. He was tensed when he saw Aziraphale going to his desk with all these drawings.

"You didn't tell me you liked drawing" said his angel friend.

"Now you know! I draw a little bit of everything, I like plants especially, starry nights. Everything that inspires me I draw.”

"I understand, I try to write everything that inspire me as well”

"You didn't tell me you were writing angel!”

"You didn't tell me you were drawing..."

"Touché! As you have seen my drawings, you will have to share with me what you are writing! "Aziraphale blushed and Crowley, the psychic, added directly "No pressure obviously, you don't have to.”

"No, I know. I'll show you them one day, maybe.”

"Whenever you want, angel. “

They were interrupted by Anthony's mother bringing them drinks. She was a happy woman who always seemed to jump when she talked. Her smile was radiant and she seemed to light a room as soon as she walked in. Crowley knew how lucky he was to have this woman as his mother. He was named after her family name (which her stepfather had taken when he married her). He loved her. He also loved his stepfather very much. For a few years now, he had been attracted to so-called "feminine" things like dresses, make-up, long hair. His mother had told him that he had always liked to rummage through her things and dress up in her dresses. When he had expressed his desire to have "feminine things" of his own, he was not afraid to talk about it. He had been talking a lot with his parents since the beginning of his life. They had spoken together like every night around the table. He could always be himself at home. When his mother came out, Aziraphale looked at him smiling.

"Your parents are really exceptional.”

"It's okay they're not too bad" Crowley lifted his shoulders as if to say but not too much. "I love them and we get along very well. What about you, your parents?”

"They are... different, not like yours.”

Crowley understood directly what his friend was not saying. His parents weren't the most fun in the world, not the kind of person who would put on music at night to dance or wear makeup with their son as if they were going to the ball, like Crowley’s mother.

"If you want to talk about it, I'm here. Shall we start the movie? "He looked at the computer and picked up the USB key on it " Oh and since I don't have time to make you listen to my bands, here's a playlist for you. A lot of good sounds but I warn you, I put Antichrist Superstar and Arma God Damn Mother Fucking Geddon by Marilyn Manson, it's special. I hope you'll like the rest of it, especially Queen! »

Aziraphale took the key from his hands and as Crowley looked at him, looked away.

"Thank you Anthony..."

"You're welcome, Angel! Okay, movie!”

They watched the film and of course Crowley listened to Aziraphale talking about the differences with the original work without complaint. That's what he was there for after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone <3 
> 
> Hope you like this little scene about them in high school <3 
> 
> Back to the professors next time :D


	5. What are you going to do about this ?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aziraphale takes two decisions and a call from Anathema. He sends text messages to Crowley and Gabriel. 
> 
> Anthony J. Crowley freaks out and remembers some things from high school. 
> 
> TW for this chapter : anxiety (light) and homophobia (mentionned)

Aziraphale had finally returned home after a day that had brought his share of emotional roller coasters. He didn't really know how he survived all this. Between the return of his former friend and Gabriel's more than unexpected request, he had only one desire: to lock himself in his house with a good tea and no people, no contact, none, basta, nada, you know what I mean.

However, his friend didn’t agree. Anathema was trying to call him since she had returned home according to the message he was reading. He sent her a quick message to tell her that he would call her later. For now, he was going to make himself a cup of tea. The simple fact of performing these few gestures would allow him to relax. These little habits he had developed over time, the little routine gestures, were the best way for him to leave the world outside his home. If he liked to be in contact with his colleagues, students and friends (well Anathema), he could quickly find himself overwhelmed by unexpected and unusual situations.

Pouring his tea into his mug was like a meditation for him. The cup was a small, simple white mug with angel wings to hold it. It was a gift from Anthony, not this version of the mug but the first. He had given him a mug for his birthday exactly like the one he was currently holding during their second year of high school. It was with this simple gift that he had realized, almost with horror, that it was not only the friendship he felt for Anthony. The gift was a revelation because it was perfect. Between his first name and nickname, it was obviously the ideal cup and Anthony had been very proud of him when he had explained that he had spotted it while he was shopping with his mother. Aziraphale had broken the original one when he moved out of his parents' house. He loved this cup so much, which reminded him of good times with his friend, that he had tried to get the same one again. It wasn't the same cup, but he was happy to have it. He had taken it out of habit and now regretted not having selected his other cup representing Van Gogh's La nuit étoilée. His thoughts went back into a spiral, difficult to stop.

He took his tea and went to sit down. He previously put a CD, a music playlist with only piano that helped him to relax or write according to his needs. Once the music began, he settled permanently on his couch. He let his mind wander without focusing on specific thoughts. A thought came, he looked at it and let it go. After a few minutes, he was calm enough to think about his day without sensations of panic.

Anthony had come back into his life. Well, all right, he didn't really know what was going to happen between them. Could they resume their friendship where it had stopped? Did he want to? Did Anthony want to become friends again or just stay in a simple cordial relationship between colleagues? He had invited him to lunch so, a priori, Aziraphale thought he must have wanted to talk. Perhaps he could know why he had never contacted him again …

But, it wasn't the most shocking event of the day, no. Gabriel had to ask him out. A date. Not contrary to university policy. It was like being in a bad romantic comedy, seriously. Aziraphale sighed as he thought about how he had reacted. Of course, he had first chosen (or rather his body had forced him) to remain silent. He just had a shocked expression. _If God existed, it would frankly be time to intervene_ , he had thought. He finally answered Gabriel.

"Uh, ummmm, why not " He didn't even know if he really wanted to have a date with Gabriel. It had never occurred to him before. He didn't even know that the man was gay for God's sake. Gabriel had answered him with a sweet smile and handed him a piece of paper.

"I'm glad you said yes.” He had not said yes. “My personal number is on this card. I have to go. I have an appointment with God, well, President Dieu. Call me or send me a message whenever you want. " Gabriel then squeezed his forearm before leaving the meeting room and Aziraphale went to lock himself in his office. He had stayed there until it was a decent time to leave and now, he was at home and realized that he had totally forgotten to answer Anthony. And Anathema was still trying to call him. This time, he decided to answer.

"My dear, you’re going to have to stop this phone harassment.”

"Frankly, Aziraphale, you can't ask me to wait to hear from you when I know you would never call me on your own. " She wasn't wrong. "So, did you talk to your ex again?”

"Anathema, he's not my ex. We never dated. We were only very close in high school. And yes, quickly because I had a meeting with the department. He asked me to have lunch together. " Aziraphale stopped.

"And?" Anathema asked.

"And nothing more, my dear. I received an email from him with his number. However, I forgot to answer him after events that disturbed me...”

"Aziraphale, you have to tell me what happened!”

"Well … If you wish. Um, how can I put this... Gabriel … asked me out.”

"WHAT?"

"Yes, my dear, it was my reaction, but I couldn't yell that at him”

"Gabriel is gay?"

"At least he's attracted to men. I don't know any more about his orientation.”

"Two proposals for a date in one day Aziraphale. What a stud!”

" Anthony didn’t ask me out. »

"I wouldn't leave that option aside, Ezra. I remember what you told me about your relationship and what happened between you two ... Anyway. And Gabriel. Have you agreed on to go on a date with him?”

"No, or rather yes, or no and that's the worst part. He gave me his personal number and asked me to contact him. My dear, you know how I am. I could never do that on my own. I won’t ask him casually in a text : Hey it’s me, so when is this date !”

"And why not? Don't you want to go out with him?”

"Honestly Anathema, I have no idea. I don't know him outside of work.”

"Ezra, go ! It's been a long time since you've had any fun!”

"My dear, you know I'm not a 'having fun' type of guy.”

"Exactly! Maybe it's time. »

"Hmmmmmmm..."

"And for your old best friend, what are you going to do about it?”

"Send him a message to apologize for not answering him and tell him that I would be happy to talk to him. We were really very close and I would be happy if we could become friends again. We've aged separately so maybe we won't get along as well as we did in high school, but a lunch to share our memories can't hurt.”

"You're right. Well, our lives are changing, so to speak. So many adventures! I'm gonna have to leave you alone. Call me if you need anything!”

"Thank you, my dear and good night.”

Aziraphale felt much calmer after talking to his friend. He felt that this day had not been such a disaster. After all, not much had happened. It was only a lot more events than what he was normally used to. He decided to send a message to Gabriel and Anthony before going to take a shower and lock himself in his new book. He had decided to give a chance to a fantasy book with several existing London as parallel universes with a magician who could pass between the London. The saga had just finished coming out and he had been intrigued by the cover. But first, back to the text messages.

 **To Anthony:** Good evening Anthony, I apologize for my lack of news today. My meeting was longer than expected and then I was quite distracted during the afternoon. I'd be happy to have lunch or dinner with you. I noticed your tattoo. I suppose there is a story behind this one that I would love to hear. I hope I don't wake you up with this message. Best regards, Aziraphale Fell.

 **To Gabriel:** Good evening Gabriel, this is my number. Sincerely. Aziraphale Fell

The difference between the two messages was obvious to Aziraphale. Where he felt like he was getting a relationship back in motion that had been on hold with Crowley, he had no idea how to deal with Gabriel or even if he wanted to deal with Gabriel. He barely had time to finish writing his message when he was already receiving a reply.

___________

Anthony J. Crowley had panicked for most of the afternoon following his email with a completely relaxed tone and the very formal response from Aziraphale. He had thought their reunion would be like taking over a book that had been abandoned for some time, but with a bookmark page, they would take over their friendship as if almost fifteen years had not passed. Of course, this was not going to be the case. They didn't know each other anymore. They had stopped talking to each other over one night, they weren’t just on fucking hold. They had broken up their friendship. Or Aziraphale did it …

If you had any doubt, of course Anthony J. Crowley had been in love with Aziraphale. When he had met him he thought that he had met a real angel from heaven. It was a bit of love at first sight, even if it was only attraction at first. Besides, it wasn't the first time it happened to Crowley. He had fallen in love at first sight when he was five years old with a boy, Lucas, then at 8 years old with Elizabeth, then he had one love at first sight per year or two from the age of 12. It was the love at first sight of teenagers who seem so important at the moment and two months later was forgotten. He had thought that for Aziraphale, it would be the same thing, he would have forgotten within six months. He didn't and it lasted his whole fucking high school years. His mother had been desperate that he wouldn't try anything. _I'm sure he loves you can't you see_ , she said. _You should invite him to the movies_ , she said. That's what he did except that he never said to Aziraphale that he wanted to go out with him and so any attempt turned out to be just outings between friends. They even went to the high school prom together for Christ sake. 

During the afternoon, he had been taken to do the owner's tour with Professor Thebub, a strange name by the way, probably a Dutch one. She had a slight speech problem and Anthony admired her for becoming a teacher with it. His new colleagues had all been cordial. Almost all of them had informed him to pay attention to the professors in the literature department and especially Gabriel. Anthony had obviously chosen to ignore them internally but had nodded every time he was warned. His mind had almost forgotten Aziraphale but everything had come back when he returned home. _Stupid, stupid, YOU ARE SO STUPIDE. First day you see him again and scared him like the jerk you are, you're really your worst enemy._

He had changed and decided that after that day, he deserved a drink. He was playing on his phone, a stupid game but one that made him forget things when he needed it, when he received a message from Aziraphale. He jumped and decided to answer him directly.

**Big snake** (he had told siri to call/name him big snake): I hope you're okay. You'll be disappointed by the tattoo story. Maybe less by my mother's reaction (she still hasn't forgiven me). You always write like an old man...

He knew Aziraphale and therefore did not expect a direct answer. However, a new text arrived less than ten minutes later. 

**Aziraphale Fell:** I'm fine, thank you. I'm a little... stressed out, if the word is correct. I received an invitation that I didn't expect today. And for your information, I'm old now, my age has only caught up with my personality.

Crowley laughed at the thought. Aziraphale was a fifty-year-old trapped in a younger body. He was only in his thirties but it was more normal for a man of that age to express himself in this way than for a high school student. His parents were such jerks ! 

**Big snake:** Is there anything I can do? 

**Aziraphale Fell:** I'm afraid not but thank you for proposing. It's very nice of you.

 **Big Snake:** Okay. Not nice, just normal. When can we have our ‘rendez-vous’ ?

_For Satan sake, Anthony J. Crowley please don’t flirt right away. You don’t want to scare him again you jerk._

**Big Snake:** It's good to see you again. 

**Aziraphale Fell:** Yes, if you want you can come to my office.

 **Aziraphale Fell :** It’s good to see you too dear. Good night Crowley.

 **Big Snake:** Good night, angel.

It was after that conversation that Crowley realized how much he had missed his friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY IT'S ME AGAIN ! 
> 
> Thanks for reading this chapter. I dropped some clues about what happened ... 
> 
> Thanks to Fenrad for the support in my writing process ! 
> 
> A lot of talks in this chapter. Hope you liked it ! 
> 
> Thanks for comments, subscriptions and kudos. I love them and big huge thanks for this. 
> 
> Drope your good omens contents if you want to share it with me <3 Brace yourself for awkward date(s) ?!
> 
> The book I mentionned is : A darker shades of magic by V.E.Schwab and it's a wonderful saga !


	6. We're supposed to be enemies, right?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An arrangement and a kiss.
> 
> No TW

They didn't have time to see each other and Crowley regretted it. He would have thought that running into Aziraphale would be easier now that they were literally working in the same place. However, when he sent him a message the day after their conversation if he could come to Aziraphale’s office, he received a quick reply informing him that he was unable to receive him because of his many meetings with his students. Finally, when it was Aziraphale's turn to ask him if he was available, he had more work than he could handle. His course was still not finished for the beginning of the semester. He had a thousand things to learn before school started. So they didn’t met until the end of the week. Anthony was sipping a disgusting coffee from a coffee machine on a bench in front of his building. Aziraphale was just heading towards this building when he met his (ex?) friend's eyes. Crowley waved at him to invite him to come.

"Hello angel.”

"Hello, dear, I'm glad to find you here. I was just about to see if you were available to have tea with me. " He showed him the cup he was holding in his hand. Anthony thought about that cup he had given him for his birthday so many years ago. He probably didn’t have it anymore. It must have been broken or forgotten at the bottom of a piece of furniture at his parents' house. "May I?" asked Aziraphale, pointing to the bench.

Crowley nodded to say yes. He hated how nostalgic he'd been for a week. Remembering a stupid mug found for 3 euros at Tati's probably wasn't going to help him get over it. He thanked himself internally for having his glasses on today. He noticed the way Aziraphale sat, unchanged since high school, still as straight, his feet well planted in the ground when Crowley tended to spread all the way along. His mother used to tease them when they shared a couch because his friend has _such a great posture_. They didn’t speak at first. The silence between them was easy. He always had been. Aziraphale broke it.

"How are you doing, with your first week?”

"Well, I think so. A lot of work, a lot of things to prepare. You'd be surprised how much I was told to be suspicious of the professors in your department. I don't know what happened, but it must be serious for everyone to tell me that!”

"If it makes you feel any better, dear boy, the feeling is shared by my department. It really looks like a war of hell against heaven. I don't even know why it started.”

"Mmmmh." He heard a thing or two about it. Apparently, it was because of Gabriel. Anthony was about to say it but he looked at Aziraphale’s mug again. And because he's too curious for his own well-being, Crowley had to ask, "Remember that mug I gave you in high school? You only drank your tea in this one after that. Your current mug is not so good in comparison.”

Aziraphale smiled at the evocation of the mug. When Anthony saw this _bloody always gorgeous smile_ , he thought maybe he wasn't the only one who had found memories of their time together.

"I still have it if you can believe it. Note yours but a version that looks like it. I broke the one you gave me when you moved out of my parents' house. I bought a look alike version”

"Oh" was all Crowley could answer. He was crossed by this current of nostalgia at the idea that Aziraphale had kept this mug which meant so much to him. It was his first failed attempt to evoke his feelings. There had been so many other attempts, but this one was quite special. Uncomfortable with the thought, he preferred to change their conversation to a safer path. "I hope the situation you mentioned in your message has been resolved.”

"Yes, and I thank you for the support you offered me. I was invited to a date by someone and I really didn't anticipate this proposal.”

"Is this a serious date or more of pre-shagging and no feeling one?" It was said with irony. But he was too curious for his well-being.

"Anthony!” Aziraphale chuckled and stopped for two seconds before answering. “It’s not serious. Not at the moment, no, and I don't know if it will be. But it’s not _pre-shagging_ date. Let’s stop talking about my personal life, it's not interesting enough.”

"If you want to talk about it, I'm interested. »

"Thank you, my dear boy. " Him and these nicknames from another time. He had taken this habit very early in high school, to give Crowley nicknames like that. Before, it was something special between them, but Anthony felt that nicknames were now part of his daily vocabulary. As his coffee came to an end, he had to face reality and tell himself that it was time to go back to work in his office. 

"I have to leave you. Work, a lot, all that. Anyway. I hope your date goes well. " It was half true. For someone sake, he could not be jealous. They didn’t know each other anymore. But he wanted to have dinner with him and another guy already took his time. Yeah, that’s what he was kind of jealous about. He was not jealous. He just wanted to see him.

"Have a good day, dear." replied Aziraphale. Crowley stood up, already regretting that their interaction was cut off so quickly. Everything was more difficult now. He didn't know how to see Aziraphale again. He was stupid, wasn't he? Who still thinks about his high school crush years later? Apparently, him. And he wanted to know the man he had become with that secret hope that after reopening the wound once and for all, he could move on and stop nurturing that fantasy. He was about to arrive at the door of the building when he was grabbed by the arm.

"Crowley," Aziraphale looked at him with his big blue eyes. How could a color be so perfect and deep? "Maybe we could try to see each other. Well, here on campus. Take a coffee/tea break together. If you're interested, obviously, I wouldn't want to force you. " Crowley had a little smile on his face, absolutely not because he considered this request as proof that Aziraphale also wanted to get back in touch.

"We're supposed to be enemies, right? According to our departments" He couldn't help but respond to that half laughing about it and how ridiculous it was.

"Oh yes, of course, even hereditary enemies! Hereditary enemies who have coffee together during the day. »

"It's an arrangement that works for me, Angel. I'll see you later. "And Crowley joined in his office, a very slight smile on his face. He tied his hair in a bun thinking that yes, it was going very well after all.

______

Aziraphale was pleased to have invited Crowley to meet regularly. Now that he was there, he wanted to know where their new relationship could lead. He stopped himsel thinking about it. On the eve of his date, he should think much more about Gabriel. He was a handsome man after all, with an education comparable to his own (as if it meant anything to him. He hated what his parents had tried to pass on to him as a value. _A diploma is not important in my opinion, thank you mother_ ). They had a date the next evening, Saturday night, a classic one that Gabriel had offered him after his message earlier this week. He had only rarely met hum during the week. On the rare occasions when he had seen him, Gabriel had only waved at him: rude ... 

After checking what he had in his closet for the “big night”, Aziraphale had decided to call Anathema for two reasons: to know if she was getting over her break-up. She was apparently doing well on this front and was taking advantage of her single life to read (they were not friends for nothing). The second reason was, of course, to relieve some pressure. The man with the name of an angel had not had many first dates in his life. He had had two rather long relationships but they had not survived time. He would end up bored or bored the other one. He preferred evenings at home, drinking wine and listening to classical music or going out to the opera or strolling in bookshops. Men in their twenties and even thirties were not so attracted to this. Of course, he had tried student life, parties, alcohol. After a memorable first evening at a first-year party, he had vomited a lot. With a hangover the next morning, he decided that, no, definitely, it wasn't for him. So, he needed Anathema to give him advice, even if she probably had fewer first dates than him. Before leaving home on Saturday evening, he received a text message from him saying " _Go tiger_!”. He thanked her for making him laugh when he was so tense.

He arrived in front of the restaurant at the time indicated by Gabriel. Well, no, five minutes before. According to Aziraphale, being on time is already being late. The latter arrived ten minutes later and decided to kiss him on the cheek. Once they were installed, Aziraphale took a deep breath as discreet as possible but still a deep one, to calm down. The waiter arrived with the menus. They had not really spoken from the beginning and this silence made Aziraphale uncomfortable.

"Do you come here often?" asked Aziraphale because, frankly, he had no idea how or where to start the conversation.

"Yes, enough. It's one of my favorite places for dinner. You've never been here before?”

"No, never. "Aziraphale looked at the menu and found everything he was interested in before the server came back and asked them if they had chosen.

"Yes, we will take two risottos, with a Vouvray please. "He leaned towards Aziraphale with soft eyes" You’ll see their risotto is to be damned. " The waiter wrote down their order before leaving with a "Very good sir.”

Maybe the risotto was good but Aziraphale absolutely didn't want to eat a risotto. He had identified on the menu another much more interesting dish with a much better wine. He hated it when people chose his food for him. It was illegal to do that (in his world) and everyone who knew him knew that very well. However, he was too gentle to say it and after all, he could forgive Gabriel for his indelicacy because they didn't know each other well enough for him to know. This did not prevent Aziraphale from being cooled by the gesture.

"So, Aziraphale, tell me about yourself. What do your parents do for a living? I have heard that they are both doctors and great specialists in their field.”

Aziraphale hated talking about his parents. 

"Um yes, my mother is specialized in psychiatry and my father in brain surgery.”

"Oh, scientists, it wasn't too hard to want to do literature?” 

"Yes, a little..." That was a euphemism..." What about you, what do your parents do? How did you get into teaching? “

After twenty minutes of almost uninterrupted monologue from Gabriel, Aziraphale greatly regretted asking this. He was unable to stop. He talked about him, his success, his successful parents, his successful childhood, his successful money too (how money can be successful, no one knows, but it was almost implied). Aziraphale ended up wondering how we could talk about ourselves so much without ever stopping. From time to time, Gabriel would ask him a question that he would try to answer like, "Oh, you know how we are in college? "except he didn't have time to say anything because Gabriel was talking again. He was certainly interesting to listen to being a very charismatic and handsome man. This compensated for the lack of interaction. Did he even realize it? He had to do this to his students, thought Aziraphale. He now understood the rumors about Gabriel. 

"... And so, that's why I decided to invite you. We have the same interests, the same background, the same degrees. We could be a great team together if all this works. " These reasons were so superficial that Aziraphale almost choked on his wine. He was really going to have to debrief that.

"Thank you Gabriel, that's very kind of you. "Aziraphale had only that to answer. Fortunately, the waiter came back to clear them and asked if they were going to have dessert. 

"Never dessert for me" Gabriel never had dessert... Who never had dessert? Aziraphale was disappointed and obviously had to refuse. He didn't like to feel like he was imposing. "And you?”

"No thanks, no dessert either. »

"You're right to be careful like me. The bill, please. »

Aziraphale pretended not to hear the remark. No, he wasn't being careful, he liked eating dessert. He just didn't want to be the only one eating dessert for their first date. Who doesn't share a chocolate cake on their first date? Isn't that the basis for first dates? Or did Aziraphale think that because he had read too much romance that he would never admit to anyone. (He had admitted it once in high school to Anthony.) Gabriel offered to call him a taxi. Aziraphale found this very gentlemanly of him. This date was the embodiment of “mi figue, mi raisin”. Once the taxi arrived, Gabriel opened the door and gave him a quick kiss on the lips.

"Good night, Aziraphale. I had a very good time. »

Aziraphale smiled at him, squeezed his arm and rushed into the taxi. He had no idea if he had a good time or not. It wasn't a bad date, nor what he would have called a very good one. He wanted to talk to someone about it. He picked up his phone and pressed the contact icon. He was going to go to Anathema when he saw Anthony just below him. He hesitated for a moment between the two.

**Aziraphale:** Good evening, my dear! So the date was... not terrible, not good. I don't know what to think about it...

 **Big Snake:** Tell me everything Angel, I want to laugh! 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, 
> 
> Big thank you for being here today ! I hope you are not too disappointed about the kiss. If you are, yes me too. 
> 
> So, any thoughts about this date ? Would you go on another one like this with Gabriel ? (He is hot so, you have to think about it.)
> 
> I hope you liked this. Thanks again for the support with subscriptions and kudos and especially comments because I LOVE knowing what you thought, what you want and I don't have enough good omens fans in my life. 
> 
> As usual, see you again this week (I don't know when but this week!)


	7. What are your pronouns ?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some informations about Aziraphale's parents, a discussion with Raphaëlle and a lovely chocolate cake. 
> 
> TW : Mention of parents putting a lot of pressure (first part)  
> Transphobia (mentionned)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I updated this chapter. I posted this chapter very late and ... Really not a good idea. So sorry for the many errors. I tried my best to correct it :D

When they were in high school, Aziraphale and Crowley were like the two fingers of a muffle. They spent their time together, as much as possible. Quite quickly, they met outside the school. The first time, Aziraphale went to Crowley's house to watch a movie. The next time, they would go together to a bookshop or a library, sometimes to the cinema, sometimes to Crowley's. All these moments had one thing in common: they never went to Aziraphale's house. Anthony didn't ask for anything for a long time. Aziraphale talked a lot about everything he love (especially books). However, he never talked about his parents, or his family in general. For example, during the holidays they called each other. Crowley would tell him everything he had done with his family: the seaside walk, the barbecue, how his father had sunburned himself while falling asleep on the deckchair by the pool. Aziraphale also talked about what he had seen, read and written, about his activities but he never mentioned his parents. He didn’t have a good relationship with them. They were almost everytime in conflict and Aziraphale didn’t like conflict or his parents’ pressure on him.

Anthony had finally imagined them as torturers. In reality, they were doctors and wanted their son to follow them in this direction. So the transition from the first to the second year of high school had not gone well. He wanted to choose literature, but they wanted him to go in science classes. Aziraphale loved books, writing and if he liked mathematics and biology, all this was not really his cup of tea. When yet another argument broke out with his parents, he called Anthony crying, not knowing what to do. He had locked himself in his room because going out on a school night was out of the question. What he really wanted was running to his best friend's family. A simple phone call had to be enough. He tried to calm down before calling. He was still sniffing a little bit when Crowley picked up his phone.

 _"Hey, angel, are you okay?"_

“…” Aziraphale was still too stirred to talk. He tried to pull himself together but the tears eventually came back.

_"Hey, hey, hey, hey, calm down, it's gonna be okay, Aziraphale. Take your time. It's going to be okay. I'll tell you about my day until then, okay? Talk when you can. Take your time. So today..."_

Anthony took the time to tell him in detail all the interesting things that had happened during his day. Aziraphale knew half of them because they had lunch together. It His friend's voice was a comfort. He felt much better less than ten minutes later. Whenever he wanted, Anthony could also be very talkative. 

_"Are you feeling better? »_

"Yes, thank you. I had another argument with my parents about my orientation. They want me to go to science and I have no desire to go to science. Do you see me becoming a doctor seriously? I like to write and read. I can't do dissections! I don't know what to do to convince them..."

_"You don't have to convince them per se, you have to make them respect your choice!”_

"What do you mean?" 

_"Knowing you, you didn't even raise your voice when you spoke, did you? "_ Aziraphale remained silent to answer. " _That's what I thought. Your parents don't have to impose their choices on you. You are your own person and you need to make them understand. You're gonna have to be strict and probably get a little angry.”_

"I'm not even sure it would work.”

_"You can threat them. Aziraphale, you are a teenager. Be a teenager and do what everyone else does: piss on your parent authority.”_

"You don't have to tell your parents that sort of things.”

_"My parents are an exception and I know it.”_

"And how would you do... If you had to threaten your parents.”

_"Oh, I don't know. First I would give the speech about being a teenager who is his own person. Maybe it will make your mother think. And if not, you tell them you'll repeat your year on purpose!”_

"But I don't want to repeat!”

_"It's a threat, angel. It's to help them understand that you're serious. You should go to them now and tell them that you've thought about it and make them feel bad. And if it doesn't work, you drop the bomb. Hop easy."_

"It seems easy when you say it. I don't have your confidence.”

 _"If you don't try you can't succeed! Go on, go ahead and call me when it's done, okay?”_

"Yes, I'll try. Talk to you later, Crowley. »

Aziraphale hung up and tried Anthony's technique. Of course, it didn't work directly and he called back his friend, always shaken. Anthony took a lot of time talking about something else. Eventually, his parents did not force him to study something he did not want. However, he had to promise to do something with his diploma and do everything to get a decent job ( _to get a PhD_ ). It was not the end of his parents' pressure on his life, far from it. But, thanks to his friend, he didn't have to suffer two years in high school studying subjects he didn't like. And it was Anthony who, during a conversation ( _or rather after a monologue on a book_ ) said to him:

"Frankly, angel, you love talking about books so much sometimes I think you'd be a great teacher. Probably boring, huh. But great.” And he wasn't wrong.

\--------------------

Someone had just knocked on the door of Aziraphale on that Sunday afternoon, late afternoon to be exact since it is 5pm. He looked one last time in the mirror to see if his bow tie was straight before he went to open it. He had sent a message to this person the day before, following his date, which had been far from successful. He had quickly realized that writing everything by message would be complicated.

**Big snake:** Tell me everything Angel, I want to laugh! 

Ten minutes later, Aziraphale had not finished his text. Technology could be so limited sometimes !

 **Big Snake:** Angel? You went to bed without telling me? Leaving me hungry for your disaster story.

 **Aziraphale:** I apologize my dear. I tried to write everything by message at once but it is really taking longer than expected. In short, I couldn't even have dessert! I'll tell you everything when I see you. 

**Big Snake:** Oh, too bad :/ Who doesn't take dessert, seriously? Okay, Monday coffee break?

 **Aziraphale** : If you're not busy, you can come by my home tomorrow.

 **Aziraphale:** If you want, I don't want to impose. 

**Big Snake:** Yes, okay, perfect. What time ?

 **Aziraphale:** Around 5pm if that's okay with you. For a tea.

 **Big snake:** Yup, good for me. Send me your address. See you tomorrow!

And so at 5:00 sharp, someone had knocked. Aziraphale was happy to see Crowley. After all, their plan to meet during the week had failed. This tea party was a happy accident. He opened the door and found himself facing a slightly different Crowley. He always wore his glasses, but his lips had a beautiful red color, his cheekbones were enhanced with an orange blush and his long hair was wrapped in a bun. He was wearing a big coat that covered his clothes.

"Hello, my dear. I'm glad to see you! Let me take your coat."

"Hello angel. Thank you. I brought dessert! And champagne for you. I mean, to go with the cake. Or for later.”

"Oh thank you, you shouldn't have! That's very kind of you.”

"Pfff, it’s … nothing, really.”

Aziraphale picked up the package Anthony had in their hands and placed it on the nearest surface before taking their coat. They wore a long black vest with a simple dress of the same color accompanied by a wide red belt at the waist and boots. They had taken off their glasses to put them in their coat.

"Your outfit is lovely." The words had come out of Aziraphale's mouth faster than he had wanted. "Have you changed your mind about pronouns from when we were in high school?"

"Um, yes. I like to introduce myself as a woman so female pronouns are more appropriate.”

"It's noted my dear girl." Crowley smiles at that nickname. Aziraphale even had the impression that she was blushing a little. "Do you also keep the same first name? Sit on the couch, I'll cut the cake, put the champagne in the fridge and serve us some tea.”

Before sitting down, Crowley made a quick tour of the room and especially the libraries. Then, she went to sit on the couch before answering.

"Um yes, I even hesitated to change my first name permanently. I have always loved Raphaëlle as a mixed name. I also hesitated to change my middle name to Jane. I prefer Raphaëlle but Crowley is good. It's as much my last name as my nickname.”

Aziraphale listened to her as he prepared the plates. Of course, she brought back a chocolate cake. He served tea in two cups and brought them with him to the living room. He gave the cup with the angel's wings to Raphaelle. She took it in her hands and smiled at him when she saw the intention. She had a beautiful smile.

"Oh, it really looks like the one I gave you!” 

"Yes, it's really my favorite.”

Aziraphale sat beside her and gave her one of the plates. He decided to taste the cake. It was perfect: the acidity of the chocolate was perfectly balanced by the sugar. It was light and melted in the mouth. It was exactly the kind of chocolate cake he loved. 

"The cake is delicious. Thank you again for bringing it.”

"Oh, you're welcome. I have a pastry shop near my home that makes great cakes. I hesitated with the ‘tarte bourdalou’. » 

One of Aziraphale's favorite cakes. She hadn't forgotten anything.

"So," she said, "the bow tie and the tartan pattern have become mandatory for you? »

"Mmmmh? " He swallowed the piece of cake he had just put in his mouth. "Oh yes. It became a habit very quickly. I started wearing it during my graduate studies. First from time to time and then every day, I found it so fitting”

"Always a grandfather soul, angel."

"I'm sorry, but I won't let you say this! It’s preposterous !" He pretended to be angry and shocked by this comment. He managed to hold his face for two seconds before laughing softly. "Yes, okay, a little bit."

He watched Raphaëlle take her mug and bring it to her lips. Her red lipstick left traces on it. He had the impression that the mug became the first one he had had thanks to the baptism by her lips.

Aziraphale was happy for her, to see her like that. The world wasn’t so kind with the people who are slightly different, even in the college world …

"I hope you will forgive me for the personal question Raphaëlle, you don't have to answer it of course but … ”

"Ask the question Angel and don't apologize until I can say anything.”

"Right, excuse me, euh, I mean sorry? Right ! Do you have to restrict yourself at work?”

"Restrict me? Vis-à-vis?" She made a gesture showing her whole body.

"Yes."

"Uh, yes, alas. Before entering thesis it was not a problem, well not so much but after with the stakes yes. Let's just say I won't stop dressing in a very 'feminine' way because I'm a professor, but I don't think I can be me right away. Anyway, all this is still less fun than your apparently rotten date!”

Aziraphale felt that the subject was complicated for her. So he decided to follow her and the change of conversation. He explained to her how the date went without mentioning whom he was dating. Raphaëlle listened to him carefully, as Anthony had always listened to him, as she had always done so naturally. It should have been like that with Gabriel, right? Did he have to go through the "know each other" stage to make it easier? When he had finished telling her everything, he concluded.

" … Finally, I complain to you about his monologue while I just did one. Apologies, my dear.”

"It's absolutely not the same thing, Angel. I asked you to tell me about it. And frankly, if I were you, I think I would have left in the middle of his monologue. You have a real patience. Are you going to repeat the experience?”

"I don't know. The situation is complicated..." She gave him an interrogating look. "I went out with Gabriel. " She made big shocked eyes at him.

"Gabriel? Your boss? The professor at our university?” 

"Yes, exactly.”

"Oh, I understand why it's complicated. He has a reputation..." She stopped before saying more and Aziraphale could not help but laugh softly.

"Yes, I am aware of that. And I'm not disappointed, just I would have hoped it would go better. Anyway, I didn’t marry him so this is not a real issue. You want some more my dear girl tea?" She handed him her mug. 

"Thank you Angel.” 

He went into the kitchen and couldn't help but find it so natural: to confide in Crowley, whether she was in the next room or not. He didn't really want to talk about Gabriel anymore. They had more than ten years without each other to review and he really wanted to know more about this tattoo. When he came back, he decided to change the subject. 

"So how about that tattoo on your head? I absolutely want to know how your mother and stepfather reacted. Even for them it must have been a shock!”

Raphaëlle told her how she had felt the need for a snake tattoo and that she had made the (little) mistake of doing it on her face. Her mother had screamed in despair while her father had laughed in his corner telling her that after all, she was doing what she wanted.

"I felt like my parents had become yours. What a horror!” 

And she went on to the anecdote. She had thought of him at that time, Aziraphale remarked. They went on to their college years and what they had done respectively. High school anecdotes also came to the surface. Aziraphale let himself be rocked in this intimacy. It was 8pm when Raphaëlle decided to leave because "there is work tomorrow.” 

Aziraphale accompanied her to the door and put her coat on. He opened the door and she turned to him to say goodbye. He noticed that some hair had fallen out of her bun. He walked towards her and put the hair strand back behind her ear. He put himself on his toes ( _she was much taller than him with heels_ ) and kissed her on the cheek. She quickly took out her glasses and put them on her nose despite nightfall.

"Have a good evening, my dear girl. Go home safe and take care of yourself.”

"Mmhhhh yes yes. Goodbye Aziraphale. " She was just leaving. Before she left for good, she turned to him again. "Coffee break tomorrow?”

"I will be there with my tea.”

"All right, see you tomorrow then.”

"See you tomorrow, Raphaëlle.”

He closed the door, took his white mug with the lipstick marks and decided to wash it first.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello :D
> 
> So, first thing first, I don't know about your educational system but in France we have (had) to choose between sections: sciences, economia and litterature for our second and final year in high school. I know a lot of people who chose sciences because their parents wanted it so "piss on your parents authority". 
> 
> Also, I tried my best to change the pronouns of Crowley smoothly. I don't know if I did it right. I used the fact that in the show he chose to present as female so I did it here. Hopefully this is good. Of course, if you are concerned by this and I did something you find triggering please let me know. I try to have an undertexte in this fiction about : be who you are, love who you love. 
> 
> As usual comments and kudos make my day. I like to talk in the comment section like ... A LOT. 
> 
> Drop your own good omens content. 
> 
> Thanks for reading <3


	8. Do you like pina colada ?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A conversation with mom who puts everything in perspective, meeting Anathema Device and a night on the dance floor. 
> 
> No TW

Raphaëlle returned home this Sunday evening respecting the speed limits. It was rare enough to be noted. She had parked her Bentley near Aziraphale's house. Some might argue that a classic car like this one should be in a garage and never be out, outside of special circumstances. She would answer them very sincerely to go to hell. After all, this car belonged to her. She wasn't going to leave her (the car is a she) alone in a garage. She knew the dangers she was exposing her car by leaving her outside.

When she arrived home, she thought about her afternoon with Aziraphale. She had more butterflies in her belly than she could hold. As soon as the door was closed and she found herself alone in her apartment, she couldn't help but giggle. Did he realize what he did? She had arrived in a dress and heels, and he had not sawed, not had an interrogating look, nothing. The only thing he had done was to take her coat, compliment her and ask her what he should call her. Of course, they knew each other in high school, but it was rarely that easy.

She took off her shoes and went to lie all the way down on the couch. Her apartment was much more stylish than Aziraphale's. She wasn't as old as he was, even if they were only a few months apart. She had tried to have a minimalist style as much as possible. The only thing that had gone wild in her apartment was the plants. She had many plants, too many plants you could say. That’s what her mother said.

She didn't really know what to do now she was home. That little afternoon had given her the motivation to face another big week at work. She should go take a shower and sit in front of the TV but she was too excited for that. Her mother kept telling her that she should absolutely watch The Good Place. Her mother... She took her phone and dialed the number.

"Hello, Mommy! How are you?”

_"Hello sweetie. Fine and you, how are you? You sound so happy! Anything you want to tell me?”_

"Of course, Mom, I have things to tell you! I told you where I was going last night, didn't I?”

_"Yes, that's what I’m saying ... So?"_

"Pfff where to start? He's wearing a fucking bow tie now, like all the time. It has apparently become his trademark. I arrived with the last dress we bought together and all he said was that my outfit was lovely. He liked the chocolate cake but of course he was going to like the chocolate cake. It was so easy, Mom, so much like before. It's horrible, it's only been a damn week since I saw him again and I'm seventeen again. Except of course, he's got someone, huh. Otherwise it's no fun, is it? It's not that bad. No, it's not that bad. At least we can be friends again. And..."

_"Sweetie, breath! Take two seconds, okay? And please listen to me.”_

"Sorry mom, I got a little bit excited.”

_"It's nothing. You're excited and I understand that. You know how much I loved him, I love him? Anyway, Aziraphale, I love the boy. We could have adopted him. Only you remember how it ended, don't you?”_

"Yes, Mom... Why do you have to talk about this when I call you happy with my day?" Raphaëlle had suddenly lost her smile and her joy of her afternoon. Her mother was always as honest with her as she was the other way. It was sometimes hard.

_"Because I am your mother. You two are no longer teenagers and that's fine. BUT, before feeling anything_ ," Raphaëlle tried to contradict her. She didn't have time. _"Don't try to interrupt me. I was saying, before you feel or do anything, it would be good to talk about this, to understand what happened, right? You never really understood yourself.”_

"It's the past, Mom! I scared him off. We stopped talking. Apparently, we both got over it. Water under the bridge, all that.”

_"I know, honey, but it can't hurt, can it? And after that, we can discuss how you're going to tell your high school crush that you're totally on him again.”_

"Muuuuuuuuuummmmmmmm! I'm not 'on him again'! How can you say that?"

_"I have practice... Your father is calling me to eat. I'm obviously going to tell him everything, just in case you thought you could escape it, your hopes are ruined. He kisses you."_

"Kisses to both of you. I knew you'd tell him anyway. Don't make too much fun of me, please. Goodbye, Mom.”

_"Goodbye, darling.”_

There's nothing like a call with your mother to set things right, is there? Deep down, Raphaëlle knew her mother was right. But, it was so much easier to ignore the past. Leave it where it was, _the past_. It was as easy as getting back into her relationship with Aziraphale years later. Why talk? Why should she talk? She didn't like talking. She hadn't been able to tell him how she felt at the time and it went very badly at the end when she tried something concrete.

She should have done like everyone else during high school, passed him a note in his locker with a mark: Hey, I love you. Let's be together. Or maybe she could do it now... Bold move. No no no no no. She had just got him back, she wasn't going to ruin it now! She finally decided to go take a shower, to cast off her emotions with the water. Removing her clothes, removing her makeup, washing her body allowed her to wash away her emotions as well. Her head was fresher when she came out. She went to her couch and finally turned on the TV to watch the show. She was going to send a message to her mother to tell her to have pity on her a little when telling her father about all of this. She had already received a text message.

**Aziraphale:** Dear girl, I hope you got home safely. I realized when you left that we hadn't opened the champagne. I'll save it for another evening with you. Best regards.

She looked at the message and answered quickly.

**Big Snake:** Back home. Okay. Good night.

That would be enough for tonight. She didn't want to get too involved without knowing where they were going. On reflection, her mother was right. They should talk about it sometime. She swept away that thought and started the program.

\-------------

A month passed and it was almost time for his first class. Since they had agreed to meet for their break, Aziraphale and Crowley had sat on the bench outside when possible. However, the weather had quickly brought them back to reality and they had to agree on a room in which to meet to discuss and drink, a few minutes together each day. Aziraphale's office had become their new meeting point. The room was really in his ‘friend’s style’, Crowley had thought. Of course, it was full of books and notebooks and loose sheets. Seriously, who still had loose sheets? He was convinced that the computer on his desk was not used for writing but only for certain research purposes. And, knowing him, he was convinced that Aziraphale went to the library even for content available online. However, he had improved the phone in his possession, which was kind of a miracle.

Aziraphale had a small sofa in his office on which Anthony always sat. Aziraphale, on the other hand, would sit in the chair normally reserved for people coming into his office. And that's how they talked for a few minutes every day. Most of the time, they talked about their respective works but they always ended up drifting off topic.

And, one afternoon, the day before his first class, Crowley met Anathema Device. She came to ask Aziraphale for something and entered the office without even knocking, even though the door was closed.

"Hello, dear. You could knock before you come in you know.” Aziraphale had said with a smile on his face that Anthony had noticed.

"Aziraphale, I've never knocked since I've been here and frankly, if you don't want people to come into your office, lock the door. Advice, if you want to make out with someone."

Aziraphale's reaction had not been long and he had turned peony red. Oh, Crowley was going to love that woman. She passed her gaze from him to Aziraphale. She waited a few seconds but the latter, not having recovered from his friend's audacity, did not introduce them. She approached Crowley and reached out to him.

"Hello, Anathema Device, I'm a friend of Aziraphale's. I'm also teaching here. We have not yet been officially introduced." She turned her gaze to Aziraphale. Crowley couldn't see her eyes, but he imagined it was a black look. "You must be the famous Anthony, Raphaelle, Crowley. It's so nice to meet you.” Famous? How did she know his first names? Aziraphale had spoken to her... She shook his hand. "Don't hesitate to tell me how you want me to address you every time we meet.” She turned to Aziraphale. "I'm not staying long, I wanted to ask you if you were up for a drink on Friday night to celebrate the official resumption of classes and specially to relax." She turned to Crowley. "You are invited as well, of course.” 

"Oh, uh, I don't want to impose.” 

"I invite you, so you can choose whether or not to come, you don't impose. I have to go, see you Friday Aziraphale. Glad to have finally been able to talk to you, Anthony?" she said with an interrogating tone in her voice. He nodded. "Anthony. Come Friday." It was absolutely not a question. "See you later." And she went out without delay. 

Crowley, who had risen to shake her hand, sat down again. He had not had time to say anything. He was under her spell! Of course, she would be a friend of Aziraphale's. She had an authoritarian look, knowing what she wanted. She had only spoken for two minutes and Crowley already wanted to know her and try to be friends with her. Aziraphale, whose face had lost its redness, had taken his tea again and was already taking a sip.

"Is she always like this? " was all Crowley wanted to know. 

"Oh yes. She is a dear friend now so I know she is just like that, but the first time I met her while she was still a student, I found her very rough. She knows what she wants and pursues it. It's a trait of character I admire in her.”

"She called me the ‘famous’..."

"Mmmmhhhh, I wonder why..." The pink had returned to Aziraphale's cheeks. Crowley decided not to go any further. He knew that Aziraphale had been talking about him, to her. This was sufficient information in itself. Aziraphale reoriented the conversation "You are not too stressed for tomorrow I hope my dear.”

"Oh, yes, I am. A lot. But, I have a strategy. I'm going to scare them so much that they won't want to interrupt me.” Aziraphale looked at him with shocked eyes, which made Anthony laugh. "Oh, it's okay, Angel. Don't worry, I'm not going to traumatize them. I'm going to go too. I have to finish rereading my presentation. Tell Anathema I'll be there on Friday. You'll give me the information, right? See you tomorrow, angel.”

"Good luck, my dear. Don't be too hard on your students.”

Anthony went out of the office with a wave of his hand and added, "We'll see, angel. We'll see about that.” 

That same evening he received a message on his phone: _Good evening, it's Anathema. Here's my number_. Oh yes, he was going to like her.

\------------

His classes went well and he was delighted. He always wore his glasses, which intrigued his students. He could look at them without them knowing it and he took a wicked pleasure in it. Above all, he was delighted to start teaching. He didn't need to scare them as much as he thought he did. He had almost only master students in front of him and therefore people who had chosen to be there. This did not prevent him from reminding them of the rules from time to time when he saw them doing something other than listening to him. He gave them homework to do for the next week, warning them that if he saw any cheating, he would send them to a disciplinary commission. This had its little effect.

Friday arrived and Anathema had indicated that they would meet in a bar. Anthony hesitated for a long time between a suit and a dress and finally decided on the suit. It was a suit "for women". It had high-waisted pants that he had coupled with a white shirt with a small black bow integrated. The jacket was a black frock coat that he combined with a pair of high heel boots. He arranged his hair in a quick ponytail leaving two wavy strands framed around his face. Between the heels and the high waist of the pants, his legs looked magnificent. A perfect outfit for a Friday night.

He joined Anathema and Aziraphale at the bar. They had come together having had a meeting. Anathema kissed Anthony on the cheek and Aziraphale followed with the same gesture.The bar was warm, with a dance floor that was not yet open. Anathema had a pint of beer in front of her. Aziraphale had a glass of white. Anthony went to the bar to get a virgin pina colada. He didn't like drinking with people he didn't know intimately, even though he had a good feeling about Anathema. 

"I really like your outfit! "exclaimed Anathema when he returned to sit with them.

"Oh, thank you. I really like the confused looks of people when I wear these kinds of clothes. It's always very funny!”

"People are obtuse..." grumbles Aziraphale. He turned to Anathema. "In high school, when he wore skirts or dresses, everyone talked. As if that would completely challenge them. Teenagers can be so unpleasant.”

"It hasn't really changed, angel. Teenagers have become adult assholes.” 

"Does he always call you angel?" Anathema asked to Aziraphale. She turned to Crowley. "I love it!”

"I started calling him that in high school and it came back when we met again.”

"Oh, you made an impression on the first day during your presentation!" Anathema was so direct, it was a real delight. "You should have seen how some of our colleagues looked at you.” Anthony often noticed that people were taking note of him for his looks. He knew very well that he was in the cannons of today's beauty but he had never really understood why. He would never have been attracted to someone who looked like him. "If you declare yourself single, you can choose whoever you want.”

"No, thank you, not interested. "Anthony replied.

"Are you seeing anyone?" The question didn't come from Anathema but from Aziraphale. Crowley turned his face towards him. He took time to take a sip of his drink before answering.

"No. Only someone in mind, maybe, I don't know." _Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up_. Aziraphale did not have time to answer that, as Anathema took the floor again.

"Oh great. We could do something together. Now that I am single and Mister Aziraphale has someone, I have no one left in the singles camp with me.”

"You know it's not really like that, dear." replied Aziraphale. Anathema took his glass from his hands. She snapped.

“Aziraphale, it's been more than a month since your first date. You're gonna have to decide if it's official or if you're done here." Crowley did not try to intervene. Anathema seemed to manage the subject and know Aziraphale better than him. He was kind of sad about it " You will be dating long enough to get married if you take any longer to decide. So, now you drink", she gave him back his glass, “you leave your indecisions outside, and you come dancing with us. You want to dance Anthony, don't you?”

Anthony was not sure that it was really a question. And, he had only half heard it, busy integrating the following information: Aziraphale wasn't really with Gabriel. Anthony didn’t ask about Aziraphale’s relationship and apparently Aziraphale didn't seem to want to talk about it. 

"Anthony?" Anathema repeated.

"Oh, yes, of course. I love dancing!”

"You know well that I don't dance Anathema," Aziraphale said. 

"You dance with us tonight.” 

Her tone was clear, there was no room for negotiation. The three of them continued to discuss, especially about their first classes and impressions of their groups. It was difficult to get an idea about the level of knowledge from just the first session but they could already share information about the individual involvement of their respective students. When the dance floor opened, Anathema declared "Time to dance", finished her beer all at once and went dancing. Seeing that neither Aziraphale nor Crowley had followed her, she gave them big eyes and imitated a lasso throw to get them to join her. 

"I don't think we have a choice." said Anthony. And Aziraphale replied, "No we don’t. With her, you never have.”

They both finished their drinks and went to join her on the dance floor. They laughed more than they danced. They all had very different styles of dancing if you could call the way they moved around styles. Anathema spent her time making ridiculous movements that made them scream with laughter. Aziraphale had a strange way of moving. He danced like a 50-year-old dad. And Crowley moved his hips mostly, but he couldn't coordinate them with his arms at all. When solos arrived, they held hands and danced them together. The flow went very well between Anathema and Crowley who decided to go shopping together at the end of the evening. 

They said goodbye to each other, having agreed that they could not continue all night because "we are too old for this bullshit". They went out of the bar. 

"I had a very good time tonight," Anathema told them. "Thank you both! We'll talk more during our shopping, huh, Anthony? Or over dinner at my place!”

She kissed Aziraphale and hugged him. Anthony was surprised that she did the same thing with him. Anthony kissed Aziraphale goodbye. The latter's hand found itself in the hollow of his neck. Anthony took a deep breath. When the goodbyes were over, Anathema and Crowley realized that they were going in the same direction and Aziraphale in the other. One last goodbye and they began to walk together in silence.

"You're interested in Aziraphale, aren't you?”

Crowley stopped walking. He looked behind him to see if Aziraphale was still visible. Whew, he wasn't there. Anathema had stopped by his side.

"Excuse me?" was his only answer.

"Don't worry, I won't tell him anything. Just if you want to talk about it, I'm here."

And she just started walking again. Anthony had to come to his senses before he could join her. He replied with a barely whispered _thank you_ to prevent her from hearing it. The smile she gave him informed him that she did, she had heard him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello you, 
> 
> First thing first, Thanks so much to my amazing proofreader [@Lovethistoomuch](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lovethistoomuch/pseuds/Lovethistoomuch). Your comments help me so much *.*
> 
> Second thing second, thank YOU for reading this new chapter. I hope you enjoyed it ! I loved writing it ! Anathema is the best friend we all deserve right ? 
> 
> As always, thanks if you leave a kudo. Double thanks if you leave me a comment. I love to know what you think about everything! 
> 
> If you have any request about little something you would like to know / to read in this story, I am here for you :D 
> 
> See you again this week :D


	9. Do you want to agree on a relationship ?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aziraphale and Gabriel agree on the terms of their relationship, Anathema's plan and some text messages.
> 
> No TW

A week after the evening with Anathema and Anthony, Aziraphale was sipping a glass of white wine in Gabriel's apartment. Gabriel had invited him to dinner at his house the week before and, after four outdoor dates, Aziraphale had accepted the invitation wondering what it meant. "Sex" had replied Anathema when he had asked the question.

Since their first evening together, things had improved considerably between them. Aziraphale had even come to think that if Gabriel had monopolized the conversation for so long the first time, it was because he was stressed. They had spent most of their Saturdays in September together. They went to an exhibition and also to a classical music concert in a small church. They discussed literature, a lot. Once comfortable, Gabriel could be very good company, much to Aziraphale's surprise.

Gabriel's apartment was warm, partly thanks to the candles that Gabriel had put in place. The living room was in a Scandinavian style. The grey sofa was facing an impressive plasma screen supported by a TV cabinet filled with blue-rays of series that Aziraphale didn't know about. In between, a glass coffee table was covered with books. Near the TV was a bar where bottles of strong alcohol, mostly rum, were stored. Against the wall, facing the front door, bookshelves took up all the space. They had to be custom-made. They were from a light wood that highlighted the color of the books. The latter were classified by color and category, while Aziraphale arranged them in alphabetical order. He had to admit that it made the bookshelves cleaner and more beautiful.

Gabriel had opened the door for him wearing his light grey suit pants and a white shirt with an apron around his hips. He smiled at Aziraphale, took his coat, put it on the coat rack and handed him the glass of wine he was now drinking. After a quick kiss on the cheek, he had quickly gone back to the kitchen apologizing.

"Make yourself comfortable on the couch or on a chair around the table, I absolutely must take something out of the oven! Make yourself at home.”

"Thank you, Gabriel.”

Aziraphale had tasted the wine, sweetened exactly as he liked it. Gabriel had obviously retained their conversation on the subject. He then went to the library as he always did when he saw one. The diversity of genres present surprised him. He didn't think he'd see science fiction novels in Gabriel's library. He had probably misjudged him very badly. He joined the table and sat down waiting for his host to finish in the kitchen. The table was round with thin and comfortable chairs around it.

Gabriel sat down in front of him after apparently taking a little heat stroke that made him sweat a little. Aziraphale could not help but look at it with interest. After all, the man was cultivated, good looking, attractive, with a jaw carved in marble and a deep, sweet voice. His white shirt showed his muscles. The fact that it was unbuttoned allowed him to see Gabriel's entire throat. And, _oh my_ , thought Aziraphale, he really needed to calm down.

"I'm sorry for the brusque welcome Ezra. I sincerely apologize, but I didn't want to miss the right time to take what I am making for us out the oven. Is the wine at your convenience?”

"No, please, Gabriel, don't apologize. Yes, the wine is delicious. I have noted the intention and I thank you sincerely.”

"I am glad. I hope you're hungry. I think I've prepared enough dinner for ten people.”

"I am convinced that it will be perfect." Aziraphale raised his glass to drink with Gabriel. "Santé.”

Within a month, he had changed his mind about Gabriel or rather, he had discovered the other aspects of his personality. He was a little narcissistic on the edges, yes, who wouldn't be in his place. He was also someone who could talk for twenty minutes non-stop. However, after they had now spent more and more time together, he had also turned out to be a considerate person. His cultural knowledge was vast and, he had been right about that on their first date, they both had a lot in common. It had become easier to be in his company. The silences were still not quite comfortable, but there were fewer and fewer.

The problem was that after a month, Aziraphale didn't feel more things than before. Certainly, at the end of their last meeting, they had exchanged a rather passionate kiss. The kiss had been good and warm. He liked Gabriel's way of kissing, which was quick and fast and... sexy. He didn't see how else to phrase it. Gabriel's kisses were sexy. They made you want to do more. They led directly to the idea of being knocked down against a bed and letting him take control of your body. If Aziraphale would have been kissed like this about ten years earlier, he would have surely proposed to the person to come back at his place. And more.

However, he was no longer twenty years old. It wasn't that kind of reaction he was looking for. He wanted a passion that would tear him apart. He was looking for kisses that not only provoked desire and envy but also filled him with a sense of belonging and accomplishment. These kisses would be sufficient in themselves. They wouldn’t need to lead to something more to be perfect. And, uh, that wasn't the case with Gabriel. There was only lust, without more. Without love. Aziraphale didn't know if love, the big “one love of your life” thing existed, which is why he gave this relationship a chance, but he wanted it. He wanted something bigger, something more monumental. Maybe with a little more time, that would be possible, with Gabriel. Or without him.

He wondered if there was not also a second reason for him to want more before doing anything. Would he have reacted that way if Anthony had never come back into his life? What if he hadn't met Raphaelle? He had noticed the ease with which he had returned to his old habits. Every time he saw Gabriel, his heart fluttered with excitement but every time he was with his old friend, he felt like a sweet warmth as if he was bathed by his presence. He had even been disappointed when he heard that he had someone in mind. Who's disappointed when he hears that, except someone who’s interested? No one. He wasn't an idiot. The problem was to know whether he was sincerely going back on that path or whether his teenage self's emotions had simply come to the surface.

He was thinking about all this while having a completely different conversation with Gabriel. The advantage of the latter was that Gabriel could speak while Aziraphale was thinking and didn't even notice the lack of any real responses. Was that really an advantage, by the way? After their first glass of wine, Gabriel went to get the quiche and salad he had prepared. He served Aziraphale and then himself and filled their respective glasses. Their eyes met and once again, his thoughts began to turn. Gabriel smiled slightly.

"Thank you Gabriel, it looks scrumptious.”

"Oh, it's nothing, Ezra. Please. I'm not really the best cook in the world. "He took a sip of his glass of wine. "I must confess that I invited you to my place tonight on purpose” Oh no, Anathema had been? right, hadn't she? That was it..." I hope I don't make you uncomfortable, um, where do I start?”

"Tell me what is going on and I will tell you if I'm uncomfortable, Gabriel. Please, do not worry about it.”

"So, here it is. It's been a month since I asked you out. And, I wanted to know where you were standing, what you expected from it if you expected something, that kind of thing. I have read a lot about healthy relationships after some personal experiences. Communication is important and I know that I often talk too much. Especially when I'm stressed. Just like on our first date, and I apologize for that. Or like now. I just wanted to tell you that I, personally, have a great time with you. I am not seeing anyone even though we haven't talked about exclusivity. I just wanted to be clear. Brutal honesty, you might say.”

Aziraphale listened carefully and took the time to think about his answer. Maybe it would be good to be totally honest with Gabriel, but the question was how far.

"First of all, Gabriel, I agree with you on the importance of communication and of course, you are forgiven. Then, to be completely honest with you, I have a great time with you. We have a lot in common and it is very pleasant for me to discover what you are like outside the university context. I don't see myself playing on several fronts, so I don’t see anyone else, currently. And since you've been so brutally honest with me, I think I have to tell you something. " Breathe in, breathe out. "I am not the kind of person who can go further than what we are doing now in the absence of more concrete feelings." Exhale, inhale. "I must add, as you have been very clear about your intentions, that I am personally troubled about my feeling, since someone from my past, who I have loved a long time ago, has returned to my life.”

Gabriel had listened to him calmly without interrupting him, which had considerably helped Aziraphale to make his choice. He was right to want to put everything on the table and go on from there. However, Aziraphale had never spoken so freely with someone he was supposed to be dating. This way of talking, almost gave him the feeling of admitting to Gabriel that he had cheated on him. He was beginning to regret his decision, the panic rising inside him. He was going to add something, if Gabriel didn't decide to talk.

"Ezra, that's very brave of you and I appreciate the trust. I'm not at all angry if that makes you feel any better. I just have a few questions if you don't mind. No obligation to answer them.”

"I am listening. You can ask me.”

"When you say you don't think you can do more, you mean...?”

Aziraphale hesitated for a moment. He was blushing and he knew it.

"Sexual relations.”

"Okay okay okay okay. Cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool. No problem. No problem. Sorry, I'm uncomfortable with this situation too.”

"If it makes you feel any better, the fact that you're uncomfortable makes me more comfortable.”

"I am delighted." Gabriel replied laughing. "Okay, another question, does this person know about this?”

"No, I don't know how to approach the subject.”

"All right, I'm thinking about my last question. Do you want to agree on a relationship, with me?”

"What do you mean by that?”

"If it's okay with you, I thought we could take a step back and have a more friendly relationship? Let's be clear, in the hope that it will become, more, romantic. Just, until you know where you stand and what you want, do things together and talk. If you want to see someone else, just let me know, as friends." Gabriel had spoken so quickly that he had to stop to catch his breath. "What do you think of that?”

"That sounds fine to me, Gabriel. I am delighted I talked to you about this and I am also delighted about this discussion.”

"Me too, Ezra. If you want to talk about all this, it will be a pleasure.”

"Are you sure about that? I don’t want to be rude.”

"Of course I am ! I won't take it the wrong way. How about another drink and a cake for dessert? I made a chocolate cake with the melting core.”

"Tickety-boo!"

"I'm going to assume that means you're up for it," laughed Gabriel.

\---------

The evening with Gabriel had gone very well. Aziraphale had sent the latest information to Anathema who was delighted that he had finally decided. She had come to have lunch with him on the campus the next Wednesday. They had chosen to lock themselves in Aziraphale's office in order not to be disturbed and to speak in private.

"I am impressed by Gabriel's maturity. "Anathema said to him once he had finished telling her about the evening. "Maybe I judged him too quickly.”

"My dear Anathema, you judge everyone quickly. " Aziraphale replied after putting down his chopsticks. They had decided to have sushi for lunch.

"Yes, and I'm rarely wrong. I understand people very quickly. I perceive what they emanate, like an aura you know." Aziraphale looked at her suspiciously. "I swear to you, Aziraphale. I read people well, I always have. So, I'm impressed.”

"Mmmmh. Right. But, it doesn't change my problem, does it? Gabriel is a very interesting person and I get along very well with Anthony.”

"If I can be sincere and direct with you, Aziraphale..."

"As if you needed to ask me dear. »

"Aziraphale!" He closed his lips to show her that he was listening. "I think you already have made up your mind unconsciously. You're just a slow man who takes time for every decision. Don't try to say no to me, I know you're anxious about change. Fortunately, I have some proposals for you." Aziraphale was all ears. "First solution: you talk to Anthony. At least if he rejects you, you'll know for sure.”

"I just reunited with him Anathema. How am I supposed to tell my old best friend that I was in love with him in high school, that I was too … And that he didn’t … No, that's definitely impossible.”

"That's what I thought. My other solution, here it comes. How about an evening where all the protagonists of this conundrum are present? Halloween is coming and I wanted to do something. Maybe with other friends. I don’t know yet.”

Aziraphale took the time to think about the proposal, which was objectively excellent. However, he had no desire to be accused of manipulating people. Come to think of it, they were both his friends now. But, he could make his friends meet after all. They would all be present at this event if Anathema went through with it. So, it was technically an evening to introduce his friends... Yes, it could work. 

"I guess this is worth a try. Thank you, Anathema, you are really a dear friend.”

"I know Ezra. I’m the best.”

Aziraphale did not really understand why Anathema looked victorious. He decided to refocus on his sushi and ignore it completely. Anathema's ways were ineffable.

\------------

During the week, Anthony and Aziraphale discussed by messages or called each other if necessary. They saw each other every day at least quickly. However, Aziraphale always wanted more as if he tried to make up for the years without him. On Thursday, he decided to go and see how his friend was doing in class. He was a little bit afraid that he had traumatized all his students.

He left the building where literature classes were taught to go to the science building, the enemy (he might ask Gabriel why, but he didn't care much). The room in which his friend was teaching wasn't hard to find/ He hadn't told him he was coming. Aziraphale approached the latter at his desk.

"Hello..." He let his eyes wander over his friend. It was very light, but he could see it. It was not really the clothes, but he had a feeling. "Raphaëlle! »

"Hello angel, what are you doing in the devil's lair?" she replied with a slight smile, her sunglasses on her eyes.

"Oh, I figured if I had to hang out with the enemy, I'd ask you if I could attend your class. I'm probably not going to understand much, but my high school-me is very curious to see you in action. "Aziraphale smiled as he spoke. He didn't realize it until he had a slight pain in his jaw.

"It'll be hard for you to keep up, but I wouldn't want to stop you from satisfying your high school sweetheart's curiosity! Take a seat wherever you want. If you want to be discreet, at the back left.”

"Thank you, my dear. I promise I won't be a burden to you." 

"You're never a burden to me, angel.” She turned quickly to read her notes.

Aziraphale therefore went to sit in an invisible corner where his friend's students did not notice him. He did not understand the physics involved. Everything was very technical. He just enjoyed seeing Raphaëlle teach. She had a voice that made you want to drink her words. She was charismatic. She did not change the subject every five minutes as Aziraphale tended to do. Well, he didn't really change subjects. He went into slight digressions, which in themselves sometimes went into digressions. Raphaëlle stayed on target. Her glasses made her look mysterious. How many students were wondering at that moment what these glasses were hiding? Probably none given the pace at which they were forced to take their notes. He laughed thinking that if he were in their shoes, he'd totally have a crush on his teacher. 

Maybe Gabriel wasn't wrong in asking him if he had talked to her. Maybe it would be good if she and him could talk. Not necessarily about the present, maybe a little bit about things from the past. It had been such a beautiful evening. She was dressed in a Gothic style. He had brought her a bracelet to wear... Or, he could be honest about his feelings from before and about his current confusion. Maybe, all he would have to do to get his answer was kissing her. That would erase their last experience... 

He came back from his daydream and the scrolling of his memories when he saw the students leaving. He waited until they had all left to join her. 

"So, what did your high school-self think of it?”

"Oh, he's impressed. And delighted. " _Oh, if only you knew how much my dear girl._

"I’m glad. Lunch angel?"

"With great pleasure. »

\-------------

It was saturday night. For this month of October, it was rather cool and above all it was raining. Aziraphale was quietly reading on his sofa, unaware that his phone, silenced, was receiving messages.

Saturday, 3:07 pm

 **Anathema Device :** <IMG5678902.jpeg>

The single ladies gang. Two girls. One objective: SHOPPING

3:55pm

 **Anathema Device :** <IMG4598605.jpeg>

A little picture in a fitting room, what do you think of this dress?

4:30p.m

 **Anathema Device :** <IMG886379.jpeg>

Selfie with your girl after a make-up session. We are hot.

5:16p.m

 **Anathema Device:** Raphaëlle found a great dress but she forbade me to take a picture to send it to you.

5:22p.m

 **Antahema Device:** Hey angel, don't listen to that witch. Have a good day. R

5:25p.m

 **Aziraphale Fell:** Ladies, I hope you are having a great time. With all my affection.

7:22p.m

 **Anathema Device:** Raphaëlle and I found the perfect disguises for Halloween!

8:31p.m

 **Anathema Device:** At the bar. Drinking beers.

9:32p.m

 **Anathema Device:** We'R sexy and we know it!

10:56p.m

 **Anathema Device:** Hey, how many angels can dance on the head of a piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin?

11:37p.m

 **Anathema Device :** AAANNNNGGGGEEEEELLLLLLLLL O=) U cUte

00:23a.m

 **Aziraphale Fell:** Good evening, I'm a little worried about both of you. Be careful when you get home. Send a message. Don't drive after drinking!

11:43a.m.

 **Anathema Device:** Hello Aziraphale, I apologize for our messages yesterday. We are fine. I slept at Raphaëlle's. We just woke up. She's making us coffee to go with the medicine for our headache. The hangover is hard this morning.

11:45a.m.

 **Aziraphale Fell:** I am so glad you are okay. Good luck to both of you. If you need anything, I'm at your disposal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello you, you and you, 
> 
> First, thanks to my amazing proofreader [@Lovethistoomuch](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lovethistoomuch/pseuds/Lovethistoomuch) who made this chapter so much better with her suggestions and corrections !
> 
> Thanks for being here today :D I hope you freaked out about Aziraphale and Gabriel. Yeah, I know, they kissed of screen but, have you seen the man ? Come on ! 
> 
> So I know I'm almost ten chapters in this story and nothing happened, but, for the record ... I have no excuse except it makes sense ? I like building a friendship story. More is coming I promise !
> 
> Next chapter will be the shopping day. It's ready so if you want, maybe next chapter will be up sunday ? I don't know. :) 
> 
> Lots lots of good vibes for you all. Comments make my day brighter. If you want me to write about something, please feel free to tell. With lot of love and good feelings and healthy communication <3


	10. Shopping trip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A shopping trip with an angel and a witch ! 
> 
> TW consumption of alcohol

Raphaëlle was returning to a state of approximate consciousness and already regretted it. Her head was heavy on, apparently, her pillow. The hangover really didn't suit her. She made a first attempt to get up while keeping her eyes closed. When she failed, she decided to roll over and look at her surroundings. As she was on her side now, she was facing a familiar wall with her painting hanging on it. Oh, well, she was at home. As well as she could, she rolled on her back. As she now realized, she was wearing one of her pajama bottoms with a t-shirt and she absolutely needed to take a shower. She was in this state of non-glory after having too much to drink last evening. With a sigh, she rolled on her other side, landing on Anathema. The latter growled and Raphaëlle laughed and then cursed because her laughter increased her headache. 

"Sorry Anathema. Shower and then coffee for me." She had trouble getting up to go into her only bath. "Make yourself at home," she added before leaving her room. She noticed then that it was difficult for Anathema to make herself more at home than she was currently doing, since she was already sleeping in her bed.

Anathema emerged from the room as Raphaëlle was in the kitchen pouring herself a coffee and grilling a small slice of bread because she was really hangover and therefore very hungry. She prepared two glasses in which she put medicine against headaches. Anathema looked completely dead too. The latter went to grab her phone.

"Do you want to change? I must have clothes that would fit you! "Raphaëlle proposed.

"No, I'm fine, thank you. I'll probably just shower before I go home." Anathéma drank a glass of water and began to sip the coffee her friend had put down. Feeling shitty together really made them bond.

"Bread? »

"Please, I'm starving. If you have jam too.”

Raphaëlle went to make some more bread for breakfast. Her head was still as heavy as ever, but she had come out of that cloud in which hangovers always put her.

"Raphaëlle," Anathema asked her, "do you remember the message you sent yesterday?”

\----------

On Saturday afternoon, Raphaëlle had met Anathéma at the street near her home. It was one of her favorite streets to find clothes. They had decided to start by having coffee to get some energy. This allowed them to talk with each other a little bit. It was during this first conversation that she discovered that Anathema was specialized in literature but particularly feminist literature. More recently, she had focused on gender in English literature. She also talked about her break-up. Raphaëlle learned that she was recently single. She said that she always loved Newton. They were still talking to each other despite the break-up. It was difficult, but they could do it. She explained to him how after high school and college, they had both matured in different ways. They had a common past but they could no longer build something together. It took her a long time to recognize this, of course. "After all, he was the only boy I really loved and loving him was so easy." Raphaëlle had let her unfold her story. She liked the ease with which Anathema could express herself, found her words while she herself still had trouble expressing what she really wanted. At the same time, she couldn't help but wonder if it would have worked with Aziraphale if they had been... something. She chased that thought away and returned to Anathema. There was no point in projecting yourself into events that had never happened before, was there? She had her fair share in relationships, they just never worked.

"Oh, and before I forget," Anathema exclaimed. "You are cordially invited to my Halloween party. I hope you didn't have any plans.”

"No, I didn't have anything planned. Evening with costumes? "Raphaëlle hadn't disguised herself for ages. It could be fun, right?

"Of course it is! I already know how I'm going to dress up. Do you have any ideas?”

"None. I'll have to think about it. It's already halfway through the month, I don't have much time left. What kind of disguise did you choose? “

"Witch." Of course, of course she will be a witch. "They were strong women who were driven out because they had knowledge. People still think they were burned in the Middle Ages when in fact they were pursued during the Renaissance. Obviously, this does not go with the era that is presented as humanist. If I dress up, I'd rather have a message! "She took two seconds to think. "Oh, I have an idea for you. With your looks and your hair and your name ... You could be an angel! Wouldn't that be perfect? »

"I'll think about it… I don't think I look like an angel at all. »

"Are you kidding me? With a long white dress, a golden belt, white wings and a halo... Let's see if we can find that. There must be a store around here for that." Anathema finished her glass of water." Shall we go?"

They got up to get out of the coffee shop and started on another subject while entering a first store. Anathema took out her phone to take a picture of both of them and capture their first shopping trip. Anathema took off Raphaëlle’s glasses, bent over to kiss Raphaelle on the cheek and took the picture. The latter was rather successful and she had to admit it. When Anathema informed her that she had sent it to Aziraphale, she could not help but look at her with what she hoped would be a mean look. It was a hard thing to do with something that hid her eyes. However, Anathema understood the intention and innocently looked up to heaven.

Raphaëlle really didn't need anything but now that she thought about it, a long white dress might be a good idea. She largely preferred to dress in black, with a few exceptions from time to time. However, she imagined that the white would bring out her hair. She went through the different departments of the stores, both female and male. She was currently wearing a very formal black dress with tights. Something simple and effective if you want to change quickly.

She could easily find clothes in the women's department as she had stayed thin. Most often, if a garment did not fit her, it was because it was too short or because she did not have the chest for. But she had learned to sew with her mother so that she could do something about that. She found nothing in the first store and accompanied Anathema while she tried on her clothes.

"What do you think of this dress?" She was trying on a pretty black dress that highlighted her waist and ended shortly over her knees. The bust had pretty lace details.

"It's a little short by your standards, isn't it? "Anathema was more the kind of person who wore dresses dragging at her feet and climbing up to her neck.

"I know, but I'm trying new things. That's the point of being single, isn't ' it? Apparently, that's what you do when you're out of a relationship. It's shit if you ask me. Frankly, pushing women to review their physical appearance after a break-up is not only a patriarchal but also a capitalist idea. I hate it.”

"But that's what you're doing, isn't it?”

"I realize my own biases. That doesn't mean I can be perfect every day!”

"I like the dress. It suits you. " Raphaëlle almost wanted to try it, but she wasn't going to have the same one. Maybe later in their friendship, or never. Raphaëlle had always regretted not having a sister, a confidant outside apart from her mother. Anathema was the first woman with whom Raphaëlle had spoken so easily. She could be like a sister, one day. Anathema returned to her cabin.

"Not sure. I'll try the rest. Well, do you want to talk about Aziraphale? " Raphaëlle looked up to the sky. She was glad Anathema couldn’t see her.

"You are rather direct ... Why would I want to talk about him when I can give you my opinion on clothes?”

"Oh I don't know, because I guessed with only one night in which I saw you two together that you had a crush on him " She walked out of the cabin and showed her the outfit she was wearing. A skirt and a blouse. Raphaëlle nodded her head. Anathema already seemed to know that it didn't suit her very well. "Honestly, if you already looked at him like that in high school, I don't understand how you didn't go out with him?" Raphaëlle was nervous. She had never really talked about any of this outside of her mother and father. And Anathema seemed to know a lot of things.

"One, I don't have a crush on him. At the very least, I'm confused to see him again, okay. Two, what do you know about high school? Three, I must admit, according to my mother, it was a lot worse in high school, if you must know.” Anathema made a lot of noise when changing. She must have had trouble getting into the new outfit. 

"Arg, damn size differences! I know about Aziraphale's point of view. But not a lot of details." Raphaëlle thought that she had to be lying slightly because she didn’t want to say too much about Aziraphale. She admired Anathema all the more. "Why don't you talk to him about it? Or you could try something? At my party, for example." Subtlety was not Anathema's trademark.

"Anathema, are you having this party for a particular purpose? "Anathema came out of the cabin wearing jeans. "Wow, jeans. You look like a new person. Not convinced.” Anathema went into the cabin again. "And no, I'm not trying anything. First of all, we would have to become friends again. I don't really know him anymore if you think about it. And he's with Gabriel. And you didn't answer my question.”

"Well, I couldn't find anything but the black dress. I'll give myself until the end of the afternoon to decide.”

Anathema came out of the fitting rooms and decided to change the subject of conversation. Raphaëlle was frustrated but thanked her internally. If she really had to talk about all this, it would be at least over a drink. She still would have liked to know if Anathema had a plan for her party or not. Maybe she just wanted to put people in the same room and see what would happen. She seemed like that.

They went to other stores and Raphaëlle found a perfect white dress to play the angel. She could wear it for everyday purposes as well, if she wanted to. All she had to do was find the halo and wings... She would order them on the internet because she just had a brilliant idea. 

The two women continued their shopping trip with more clothes and make-up. They took the time to get their makeup done in a beauty shop and Anathema, who had a rather neutral look, had asked for a smoky eye that suited her particularly well. Raphaëlle had opted for something more natural that suited her perfectly. The warm tones of her make-up brought out both her eyes and her hair. The make-up artist complimented her on having such beautiful hair, which made her blush a little.

Anathema found a store selling Gothic clothes. She entered not only because she appreciated dresses in a Victorian style but because she could find a perfect dress for her witch costume. And, she found it. Anathema was debating with herself about wearing a pointy hat when she tried the dress. Maybe she could have a hood.

Once the shopping was over, they went to Raphaëlle's apartment to drop off their bags and left to find a place to talk. They found a bar in the middle of happy hour and ordered two cocktails. After two drinks, without eating, they felt light and started laughing for nothing. Anathema took out her phone and sent a message.

"Who are you talking to? "Raphaëlle asked.

"Aziraphale. And don't try to take my phone back like you did earlier!" Anathema had sent a message to Aziraphale about the white dress because Raphaëlle had not wanted her to take a picture. She had taken Anathema's phone and sent him a message.

"You didn't answer my question earlier. Are you trying to manipulate us by throwing us a Halloween party?"

"Of course noooooooooooot?. Wow, I think the alcohol's starting to take effect. "Anathema had cheeks slightly pinkened by alcohol and smiled all the time. "Um, Gabriel is invited. By the way.”

"What?" Raphaëlle looked at her with shocked eyes. "Are you telling me this after I bought my outfit on purpose?" Raphaëlle, having removed her glasses, continued to look at her as Anathema ordered a new round. "Anathema! I have no desire to spend an evening with this boyfr... him. With him.”

"You bought the dress, it's too late!”

"You're so mean..." Raphaelle's complaining voice made Anathema laugh.

They continued to talk and laugh together. They had been drinking for quite some time when Raphaëlle suddenly changed the subject, leaving her head on the table. 

"He is sooooooo cu - cu - cutttee. With his little bow thing. Why does he have to be so cuuuutttee?"

"You should tell him!" The alcohol made Anathema even more authoritarian. "Here. My phone. Tell him."

"Noooooooooooo I can't. He is with _Monsieur_ Gabriel."

"If you, if you, if - you send a text to him, I'll tell you something but shhhhhuuuuuussshhhh you can't tell Azir - Azraph - him, I told you."

"Tell first."

"Noooooooooooo! Send it and it's from my phone. He won't know!" As a reminder, they both had several drinks. That sounded like a very good argument.

"Ok ok ok ok give it!" She typed the message. "There you go, happy? Now tell me!”

"They're not together anymore. Never actually been. They are friends. Ooh, you want to eat? Look, pizza!”

They quickly moved on to other things. Raphaëlle's misty mind did not immediately understand what Anathema had told her. This would be a tomorrow problem. Right now, she enjoyed her night out with her new friend. After eating, they decided to go back to Raphaëlle's house to sleep, Anathema seeming as if she was about to fall asleep at any time now. 

\-------

"Do you remember the message you sent yesterday? "Anathema asked.

Of course, she remembered, she had just decided to forget. She put her hand through her hair wondering if Aziraphale would understand that she was the one who sent the message from Anathema's phone. He wasn't stupid, he was going to understand. Well, she had to take responsibility. Or – OR, she could blame alcohol. That was a solid plan. 

"Yes, yes, yes. I just decided to blame the alcohol if he asks a question. Or to say that you sent it. That's not bad either." She smiled at Anathema. "So they're not together..."

"Oh, no! I did tell you that ... Don’t tell Aziraphale I told you please! But seriously, you should talk to him. You see each other every day and you didn’t know? »

"Oy, it's okay, right? I don't want to force him to talk about his personal life. »

"Mmmh."

They both ate and Anathema finally left in the early afternoon. Raphaëlle had to prepare her classes again for the following week but she had trouble focusing. So, she checked her e-mails. It was a little bit of work, but she didn't need to concentrate so much. She finally got up for a new cup of coffee with one (or three) glasses of water. She had asked Anathema to send her a message when she got home safely, so she decided to check her phone. She had three texts, a missed call and a message on her voicemail. She decided to listen to the voice message first.

" _Hey sweetie, it's Daddy as you can hear. Your mother told me about your adventures. Do you want to come over for lunch soon? I know the job takes a lot of time and we're far away, but we miss you. Let us know when you're available. Do you have any holidays coming up? If you want to spend even a few days. Love you_. _Mum says she loves you too._ »

She smiled when she heard the message and was about to call her parents when she remembered the messages waiting for her.

**Mum <3:** I started American Gods. You should check it out. Did you start watching the good place? We went to dinner at Marine and her husband's house yesterday. You know, my former colleague. This was so boooorrriinnggg. Call us!

**Anathema Device:** I am at home. Don't forget to order the wings for Halloween!

**Aziraphale Fell:** You cute too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello :D, 
> 
> I dedicate this chapter to my amazing proofreader [@Lovethistoomuch](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lovethistoomuch/pseuds/Lovethistoomuch) who used a lot of "shopping trip" in her comments ! Thanks for making all my works so much better. 
> 
> And thanks to you for reading this. 
> 
> As always, kudos are a joy, comments light my heart. If you have questions, suggestions, please feel free to share. 
> 
> See you next week at Anathema's !


	11. Halloween party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Halloween party at Anathema. A little bit of awkward flirting.
> 
> No TW

Aziraphale had thought about the message he had sent to his friend for days. He had had the audacity to send it because, he had to admit it, he hadn't really thought of anything before sending it. After thinking about it, his first reaction was to panic. What if he was wrong? Maybe Anathema had sent him that message after all. She liked the nickname Crowley gave him. He should send his apologies, right? Finally, with his conversation with Gabriel in mind, he had reconsidered his decision. Yielding to temptation would allow him to get his answers. He was an adult man now, he could well... Send messages to friends telling them that he thought they were cute when in fact he thought they were charming, endearing, quite beautiful really. He received no response and, when he saw Crowley the next day, they didn’t talk about it. The silence made him angry at first, frustrated. Then, he completely forgot about the incident or, to be more honest, he buried his embarrassment very deeply.

He was currently in Anathema's room and was putting on his suit for the evening. He had come earlier to prepare a special Halloween buffet with Anathema. He had asked her why she wasn't having a real dinner and Anathema had explained that it was a party and not a social event. People would eat, dance and move as they please. So, they had prepared cakes and biscuits in colors vaguely in the theme. She had set up her living room to have some space to dance and a corner in which all her guests could talk. They were expected ten people and Aziraphale had already forgotten their first names.

Aziraphale had decided to do cosplay, which he thought was a new fancy word for the young ( _his mind was old enough to think like that_ ), not to say disguise. He had searched extensively on the internet for what he could wear and had opted for an outfit very similar to the one of the Prince in Beauty and the Beast. The deep blue color of the jacket highlighted his eyes. He was quite happy with the effect. He had also helped Anathema put on her big witch dress. She had finally decided to wear a pointed hat with a smoky make-up. They had just finished getting dressed when the first guests arrived. Anathema introduced her to two of her friends: Elsa, who had come as the Cheshire cat and Alice who had rightly dressed as Alice in Wonderland. He greeted them, bowing as a prince would, which made them laugh and they had begun to talk.

Anathema's friends had all arrived when Gabriel rang the bell. Anathema welcomed him warmly. She was that kind of woman, Aziraphale said to herself. If she wanted to, she could be friends with anyone. Gabriel was dressed as a vampire which made Aziraphale smile. It was rare to see him wearing so much black and especially such a long cape. He offered Anathema a bottle of wine to thank her for hosting him tonight. He complimented her on her outfit and told her that she should come to the university in this dress. Anathema took him at his word and informed him that she would soon do it, which made Gabriel laugh. She introduced him to everyone present. Gabriel approached Aziraphale and pressed his forearm as a greeting.

"What are you supposed to be dressed as, Ezra?”

"As a prince! The one in the Beauty and the Beast... Anathema helped me to choose it. I should have put a crown on, shouldn’t I?”

"Yes you should have,” Gabriel replied. He was so direct … "I think it would have been clearer to get the message across that you are a prince.”

“You should have put canines then! And blood, dear.”

“I tried but it was horrible. They made me lisp! Has everyone arrived?”

"No, Anthony's not here yet. " He called towards Anathema. "Is Crowley on his way?”

"He didn't send me anything and I tried to call him." She replied and then she added with a low voice only her could hear. "I hope he didn't chicken out.”

A few minutes later, Anthony arrived apologizing for his delay to Anathema after kissing her on the cheek. He put a bag and a bouquet of flowers in her hands. Aziraphale laughed softly when he saw that this did not prevent Anathema from saying something into his ear. He blushed slightly, which made Aziraphale even more curious. Anathema took Crowley's coat and took the opportunity to present him to the assembly as Anthony Crowley. Aziraphale looked at him and his friend's outfit took his breath away. He wore a long white dress with bare shoulders. A thin gold necklace fell in the middle of his chest. A golden belt highlighted his waist. He wore light make-up and under his eyes, where normally freckles were present, they had been replaced by gold spots. His hair was completely loose and cascading down onto his shoulders. On top of the red curls, a thin band, also gold, served as a halo and, protruding from his back, small black wings completed the whole picture.

Crowley waved a hello to everyone and met Aziraphale's gaze. He smiled before looking at the room. His face closed slightly, and he went to join Anathema who had gone into the kitchen to open a bottle. He went out a little while later, pouting. Anathema must have sent him out. Taking Gabriel’s arm, they went to meet him.

"Hello Anthony," he gave him a smile he hoped would be comforting. "Beautiful disguise. The angels' style suits you very well.”

"Hey Angel” he said giggling a little, “thank you. Being a prince suits you." Oh, Anthony recognized his suit. He wouldn't have thought anyone would recognize it.

Gabriel held out his hand to him. "Good evening, Anthony, Gabriel. I don't think we've been formally introduced. Colleague and friend of Aziraphale." Anthony shook his hand. "Why the black wings?”

"A fallen angel is a lot better than a formal one. And, I must admit, wearing only white was kind of against my values.”

"It suits you." Gabriel simply replied.

Anthony nodded his head and left them to go get a drink. Gabriel turned to Aziraphale with an interrogating look. Aziraphale was already elsewhere in his thoughts. He raised his shoulders slightly and after apologizing to Gabriel, went to Crowley. Apparently, Anathema was going to talk with Gabriel. Aziraphale wondered what she was going to say to him... Probably compliment his vampire disguise and explain the meaning of hers as she had done with Aziraphale. When she was excited about something, she could talk a lot about it. That was one thing he loved about her. Putting his hand hover Crowley’s back without touching him, Aziraphale leaned over to ask him in his ear if he was all right.

"Of course, Angel, I’m good." Anthony had moved slightly away so they wouldn't be so close anymore. He seemed uncomfortable with the proximity Aziraphale was trying to have. "Nice to meet your boyfriend.” He had a slight smile when he said that and his eyes were smiling too. His appearance suggested that he was sincerely happy for his friend or that he was hiding something

"We're just friends, my dear. We talked a few days ago and we reoriented our relationship." Aziraphale looked at Gabriel and Anthony followed his gaze.

"Oh, yeah? You didn't tell me... He's a handsome man and you must have a lot in common." Crowley winked at him, which made Aziraphale laugh gently.

"That's not always enough, is it? " he replied with a gentle smile.

Anathema interrupted everyone's conversations by raising her glass to thank them for coming and especially to tell them to eat, drink and do what they wanted. Two of Anathema's other friends, dressed up as a ghost and a zombie, walked over to Aziraphale and Crowley to compliment them on their costumes. They began to talk naturally about each other's lives. Anthema's friends had interesting jobs or activities because most of them were activists for something such as ecology, feminism, LGBTI+ rights. They had a lot to tell and Aziraphale began to wonder if he could help with bringing about an association for LGBTI+ people at his university. This could be interesting and important. He had gone through this painful period of his life himself and everything would have been different, perhaps, if he had had a community of supportive adults and young people around him.

Once the conversation was over, Aziraphale took a plate and quickly used the buffet. He took Anthony's wrist like he had done so many times when they were younger, and guided him to the table so that they could sit down together. They were discussing Aziraphale's last class during which one of his students almost fainted from stress because she had to make a presentation when Gabriel came to join them and listened carefully to the end of the story. 

Crowley smiled gently before addressing Gabriel "Students who faint in class, that must happen to you often Gabriel!”

"Not so often," Gabriel replied with a gentle laugh, "I know my reputation and I know that I am strict. Students don't like me very much I know that, but I think I'm a pretty fair professor. It’s really hard to judge yourself. »

"You and Anthony seem to have the same way of being strict with your students. I may be too soft myself … " exclaimed Aziraphale, who could not help but revisit Crowley's course that he had attended in his mind.

"Yeah maybe we have something in common.” Crowley seemed to say it almost reluctantly. “But you, you are not too soft! By the way, Gabriel, I wanted to ask you a question, since we're getting to know each other. Why do the science and literature departments hate each other so much? "Aziraphale looked at him with shocked eyes because even he had not dared to ask the question. Crowley had always been more adventurous than him, it was true, but still.

"Oh, that..." Gabriel's sad look was not lost on Aziraphale. "Let's just say I have a common history with one of the members of your department. Not very glorious. It ended up spilling over into the professional, which I regret. Now."The answer was rather vague but at least enlightening.

"Hey," Anathema interrupted, "I'm going to launch a karaoke competition. Coming ? »

After consulting each other silently, the angel, vampire and prince decided to join the others and postponed their conversation until later. They all laughed a lot when Alice and her cat did a kind of dance with their song, the classic _Don't go breaking my heart_. They all had voices more or less in rhythm with the music but the atmosphere was very casual. When a queen song was proposed, Crowley was the first up for it closely followed by Gabriel.

"Queen fan?" asked Gabriel.

"Unconditional Queen fan!” answered Anthony.

"Shall we do it together?”

Crowley nodded and they both embarked on the worst possible interpretation of Bohemian Rhapsody ever. Aziraphale had rarely heard anything so horrible, but both of them did it on purpose, so the audience forgave them and laughed with a full throat. Once the song was finished, Aziraphale and Gabriel each sat down next to Aziraphale. Gabriel addressed a "Good job" to Anthony who answered him with a wink. Maybe they could get along.

As the singing went on, sitting on Anathema's couch, close to Anthony, Aziraphale found himself laughing close to his friend's shoulder. His whole side was against Anthony’s and a memory came to the surface, or rather memories: all the evenings watching movies they had spent together, all the discussions on Crowley's bed, all the times they had found themselves so close to each other. It was a strange thing to find yourself, so many years later, in the same position. 

After everybody who was willing to do so had had their turn at, the activity changed and Anathema put on a horror film without Aziraphale even paying attention. Gabriel, and some of the others (ghost, zombie, and Alice) went back to the kitchen table, leaving the fans of horror movies to themselves. Aziraphale stayed with the small group of horror aficionados without thinking about it. He was lost in his thoughts mixing past and present. He had no doubt that he wanted to rediscover his friendship with Anthony and after two months reconnected, he was eager to know more. So, he did the only logical thing at that moment, with the excuse of the horror film in mind just, he laid his head against Anthony's shoulder and placed his hand on his thigh.

The fabric of the white dress was soft to the touch. He couldn't help but wonder if the skin underneath was soft too. A gesture like this would have been too much for him in high school and he would never have dared to do it back then school even if he had wanted to. He had dreamed of it but he wasn't as comfortable then as he was now. He had learned to embrace his sexuality and no longer see himself as a failure. He dared because he was no longer the frightened teenager who had sacrificed their friendship by blaming everything on his friend because it was easier that way. This simple gesture would have so little meaning with anyone else but with their past, it was something.

He felt Anthony startled when he placed his hand. However, the latter said nothing and when Aziraphale looked up to watch it, his eyes were fixed on the TV. What were they watching again? The blair witch project, right? It didn't matter. That felt so right … 

Aziraphale was not the most gifted person when it came to flirting so after a few minutes he panicked and withdrew his hand. At that moment, he met Crowley's gaze, who smiled softly at him. Aziraphale's mind was a bit confused and his thoughts stayed in this in-between place of not knowing how this gesture, followed by a really quick retreat, would be perceived. He could be comfortable with his sexual orientation, he was still not comfortable with flirting, especially when the other person didn't seem receptive.

The film ended quickly compared to today's films. On the rare occasions when he watched a film with Anathema, Aziraphale was always surprised about the length of films in recent years. The guests who had gone into the kitchen were screaming with laughter. Anathema went to tell them to get off their asses and come back to the living room to explain what they were doing. The ghost guy (Aziraphale thought that he really should have better memorized the names of the friends from the one person he considers his best friend) informed them that they had spent the last half hour playing a drinking game. Adults could behave like teenagers more often than we thought… The hostess of the evening decided that everyone should participate, so the ghost explained that the game was "Never I have ever". The person who's turn it was had to say a fact about themselves, stating something that they had never done before and those who had actually done the mentioned thing had to drink. _Really teenagers_ , thought Aziraphale. 

The facts were mostly quite funny and innocent. The people present did not all know each other well, which led to self-control. They ranged from "Never I have ever had pets" to "Never I have ever tried weed". People who drank were often looked at with big eyes, more for laughter than anything else. After a few rounds and especially a few sips of alcohol for everyone, the atmosphere was more relaxed and the facts became more interesting. When Anathema said she had never slept with a woman, the only one man not to drink was Aziraphale, which blew Anathema up, stating that he must be the gayest man she would ever know. The statements shifted to more sexual things ranging from "Never I have ever faked an orgasm" to "Never I have ever had sex in public". Sometimes, those who had declared the facts also drank because they had lied. The Cheshire cat said she had never fantasized about a person in this room. When Aziraphale took his sip laughing, he couldn't help but look at Anthony who was also drinking. Right after this, Anthony excused himself and came back only at the end of the game.

The evening ended slowly and the guests began to leave. When Gabriel made his farewells, he told Crowley they could talk about Queen some other time. Both Aziraphale and Anthony stayed and helped Anathema to clean up. She offered them a coffee that Aziraphale refused for tea and that Crowley accepted with gratitude.

"It was a very good evening, Anathema, thank you so very much dear. Your friends were really nice, I would be happy to see them again dear," said Aziraphale as they sat around the table with their respective hot drinks.

"Strongly agree. And Gabriel is much cooler than he looks," Anthony added.

"Thank you both. I was sure it would be like this. Anthony, can you drive Ezra home? I know you've been careful with your consumption and that would reassure me." She had a confident smile that Aziraphale couldn't explain.

"No problem. Ready, Angel?"

"Thank you, my dear. I'm going to get my things.”

When he returned to the room, Anathema whispered something to Anthony who looked at her puzzled. They seemed to be preparing something and it made Aziraphale smile. When Crowley saw Aziraphale return, he kissed Anathema one last time to thank her. Aziraphale did the same and followed him.

Once in front of his building, Aziraphale was finally able to relax. Crowley was driving far too fast for him and he had been sincerely afraid of dying at least three times and twice he had been afraid that pedestrians would die. In the double-parked car, Anthony turned to him. He opened his mouth as if he was going to say something. Finally, he closed his mouth. There was a contemplating look on his face and Aziraphale waited. It was in vain though. When he snapped out of it, all he did was wish Aziraphale a good night's sleep. He was sure that this was not what Anthony initially had wanted to say

"Thank you for driving me home, Crowley. Good night and sleep well dear.”

Aziraphale bent down to kiss Crowley on the cheek and left his lips on his skin for a second longer than necessary. He got out of the car and was about to open the door of his building when he heard a snap and a sound of swinging hinges.

"Angel?" He turned to see that Crowley was leaning half way out of the car. "I'm going to my parents' house for a few days, taking a little time out cause I don’t have any class next week. When I get back, I'll see you? I would love to talk to you about … Well, talk.”

"With great pleasure, my dear boy. Say hello to your parents for me please.”

"Noted. Bye angel.”

Anthony rushed into his car and left. Aziraphale wondered on his way home what they were going to talk about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello you, 
> 
> First, I am indebted to [@Lovethistoomuch](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lovethistoomuch/pseuds/Lovethistoomuch) for this chapter. I had a lot of doubt about it. Your comments and support made it so much better ! Thank you for your proofreading and being on board with my ideas :p 
> 
> This is [Aziraphale's costume ](https://cosplaysky.ca/products/beauty-and-the-beast-prince-adam-suit-cosplay-costume-adults-halloween-outfit) cause he is a principality and it's close from prince ... I think. AND he would be perfect in this. 
> 
> I don't know if you saw it but Aziraphale wasn't the only one flirting ... 
> 
> Next stop is their conversation about what happened between them. Just to be clear, this is not the plot of this fiction ! I don't really write a angsty or even a ploty fiction cause I want it to be all about friendship / flirting etc :D 
> 
> Comments and kudos make my day brighter <3 If you have any questions, any requests, please feel free to tell me! I'll see you soon :D


	12. Prom night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happened and how it happened. 
> 
> TW : mention of drugs consumed (not the characters)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is the only sad one. This is an exception. Back to good stuff in the next one.
> 
> You can find a happy alternative ending here : [Alernative ending](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20922731)

Anthony was currently in panic attack mode. The more he looked at his possibilities, the more he found new ones, the more he thought no, definitely not that. All the clothes he could possibly wear tonight were on his bed. The only colors present were black and white. He had a choice between two dresses, a 'woman's' costume and two men's costumes. On top of everything, different accessories were scattered to give him a better idea of what he could wear. For an hour, Anthony had been trying to make up his mind and for an hour, every time he told himself he had made his choice, he would change his idea. He was not only nervous about his outfit. After all, he had decided to play all his cards tonight.

Asking Aziraphale to come to prom with him had been one of the most difficult things to do. In their high school, prom was on the last Saturday in June after passing the final exams. It was a way to conclude the high school years and say goodbye to everyone. Crowley and Aziraphale would not go to the same university. So, they only had this summer before going their separate way, or only August, since the Crowleys were leaving for their yearly seaside vacation in July as they used to do. Faced with the changes that were coming quickly and the fear of losing Aziraphale, as soon as he would be surrounded by literature fans who could talk about Wilde for hours where Crowley had taken a year to finish Dorian Grey, he had decided... to talk to his mother and asking her if he should invite his best friend and say something about his feeling.

His mother, after looking up to heaven for the thousandth time since the two boys had met, had advised him to "sincerely get off his ass" and "ask him to the prom, how come you didn't think of that earlier?” The prom was in two weeks. Everyone who wanted a partner already had one. It would be the evening of the year when all the couples ended up together (and break six months later, Crowley thought). The big question was whether he was going to ask him face to face, or by text message because it would be easier to pass the question as a joke if Aziraphale said no by text. Catherine Crowley looked him straight in the eye and told him that he absolutely had to ask him in person, otherwise she would disinherit him. This made them laugh a lot. Finally, Anthony decided to ask Aziraphale to accompany him to the prom as soon as he had the opportunity.

A week later, and therefore a week before the prom, Crowley had still not invited Aziraphale. Every time he tried, the words didn't reach his mouth and he made a strange noise that made Aziraphale look at him with an interrogating look. Saturday afternoon, one week before prom, the two of them were on Crowley's bed. Aziraphale had brought his writing notebook and Crowley was trying to draw a plant. The background music had been chosen by Aziraphale, so they were listening to Erik Satie. It was one of their little arrangements when they did things together: they took turns choosing. In almost three years of friendship, they had both opened their horizons enormously thanks to this.

Of course, it was impossible to draw with the stress level Crowley was currently experiencing. He didn't even know if Aziraphale wanted to go to the prom. He wasn't going to force him anyway. And if his friend hadn't asked him, it was probably because he didn't want to go together. Yes, that was it, no need to say anything. At that moment, Anthony's mother appeared in the doorway and asked them if they wanted anything. Aziraphale replied that “no thanks”, they had already taken something and Catherine replied that they should not hesitate to ASK if necessary while looking at her son with big eyes and a slight head movement.. Once she left, Anthony, under pressure from his mother, decided to go ahead.

"Hey Aziraphale," he turned to him and his big blue eyes in which Crowley had a certain tendency to get lost "you're going to the prom with someone next week?”

"I thought we were going together, dear. Why? You're going with someone?"Aziraphale's mouth smiled at this question but his eyes looked sad. After a few years together, Crowley knew his friend well enough to notice. In this case, seeing the negative emotion on his friend's face was a good sign, though. Aziraphale wanted to go to the ball with him.

"No, no, no. I wanted to go with you." _Don't be so direct_ , he thought. "So it's perfect.”

"Oh, yes, tickety-boo. Do you know what you're wearing?”

"No, not yet, I have a lot of options in my closet. What about you?”

"I think I know, but I won't tell you!”

"Oi, that's not cool, angel!”

Aziraphale looked at him with such an amused smile that Crowley's protests died in his throat.

He was thinking about this conversation in front of his pile of clothes and was no more advanced than an hour ago. Fortunately, he had the whole afternoon ahead of him. Faced with his inability to make a choice, he joined his parents in the living room to ask them for help. His father had a preference for one of the dresses while his mother was for one of his costumes. So, no one was able to help him, he was going to have to make his choice alone. 

A few hours later, he was finally ready. He had decided to wear his black slim jeans with a slightly open white shirt, the suit jacket of his 'woman' ensemble and his favorite heel boots. To this, he had added a silver necklace that went down on his chest. He was able to take it from his mother after half an hour of begging. He also wore asymmetrical earrings, smoky make-up and his hair had been braided by his mother. His look was a perfect mix of genres. People were going to be able to look at him strangely for the last time and he was delighted with this simple idea.

The doorbell marked Aziraphale's entrance and the beginning of the plan to 'confess his feelings to his best friend' for Crowley. While he was checking his lipstick one last time, he went downstairs to join his friend who was talking with his mother. When he saw him he couldn't help but stop and stare at him. His clothes were almost creamy white. He wore a light blue shirt and a white bow tie. The whole thing brought out both his hair and eyes and he looked so grown-up now that Crowley realized that a page would soon turn for them.

"Hello, Crowley. I really like your outfit." Aziraphale had looked at him from bottom to top without hiding it, which made Anthony blush slightly.

"Thank you Aziraphale, you're not bad either."Anthony's tone was close to flirting and he hoped his friend would realize it almost as much as he hoped he wouldn't.

"Okay, boys, photo required! "said Anthony's father. 

"Dad! Please! Nooo! That's so cliché!”

"All you had to do was not be so cute together! " Crowley turned to his mother with a look he hoped would kill her and to make him understand that "Mommy, please shut up!”

Aziraphale intervened to say that after all, they would have a memory of themselves, together and well dressed. So they took some more or less serious pictures, especially because Crowley was not a fan of photos at all. Before going out, Anthony went to get his sunglasses. He didn't have time to put them on his nose as his father took them from his hands with a wink. Great, everyone was ganging up on him that night. His mother who was driving called them and they left for the evening.

\------------

The prom had been more interesting than he thought. Firstly, he had spent the whole evening with Aziraphale. That was a good point. Secondly, he had heard people whispering about them and he was pretty sure he had heard a 'are they together or what?' Anthony knew full well that there had been rumors about them since almost the beginning of their relationship. Where he used to get easily angry when he heard people talking about them, tonight his reaction was not the same. He was almost happy that others saw them as a couple. It was a sign, wasn't it? Anyway, everything was a sign that night for him, whether it was Aziraphale's smile or the way they walked together.

The music had been pretty good in general, which was not easy cause he had his tastes. The dancefloor was full of teenagers who all seemed to be thinking about… You know what. The DJ alternated between music from the disco years that Anthony loved, group dances and even a few slow songs at the end of the night. Crowley had been more than surprised to see that Aziraphale was a rather good dancer and that he knew the choreography of the ‘macarena’.

The two friends spent an evening laughing and dancing. A photographer was present and Aziraphale insisted on the two of them taking another picture. Crowley followed him, pretending to resist. He wasn't very good at saying no to his best friend / future boyfriend if everything went as he thought it would. He studied every movement, every expression of Aziraphale as if he was seeing them for the first time. He had played out all the scenarios in his head and he was almost certain not to lose their friendship even if his feelings were not returned. At worst, the distance would help to forget it, wouldn't it? They could still be friends. It was a risk to take.

In the middle of the evening, they went out for some fresh air. Several people were outside with an ambulance. They were part of the high school's popular group. One of the girls in Crowley's class, Cassandra, (they were not especially friends with her but she was a cool chick who always complimented Crowley's makeup) came to explain to them that part of the group had consumed a space cake (a brownie with some weed in it) and that the experience had apparently not gone well. They tried not to laugh at the misfortune of others, but the looks they exchanged between the three of them spoke for them. That's why Anthony was so happy that high school ended: to no longer have to put up with these assholes who, because they were walking clichés of what American society was giving as a model, allowed themselves to do absolutely anything as if the world belonged to them. Once Cassandra left to join her group of friends, Anthony turned to Aziraphale who had a sad look on his face. 

"Are you all right, Angel?"

"Mmmmh? Yes, very well, thank you, Anthony.” 

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am sure. I just didn't realize until now that our high school years ended tonight. Things are going to change and I don't really like that idea.”

"Sometimes change can be cool too. Come on, let's dance so you don't have to think about all this.”

Anthony held out his hand to him and Aziraphale took it. They returned to the room and let the music take them away. When, at the end of the evening, the music changed to slow music, they both looked at each other with a question in their eyes. Finally, Anthony reached out his hand. With a slight bow and an "Angel?”, he asked Aziraphale to dance with him. The latter accepted his hand and at that moment, all the doubts Anthony might have had left him completely. He put his arms around his angel's neck and his friend put his arms around his waist. Anthony closed his eyes completely and let himself be rocked by the music, their movements and the smell of Aziraphale. He had never felt so relaxed and happy as he did in this moment. Crowley felt like he was in one of those teen movies he was watching in secret where at the end, thanks to the prom, the main characters got together. His mind went to a world where he was the heroine, and his handsome prince charming would kiss him at the end of the evening. Urgh, such a cliché.

When the last dance was over, he moved away from Aziraphale and pressed his forehead against his friend's. It would have been so easy at that moment to kiss him and tell him everything. It was the perfect time after all. The moment when in all romantic comedies, the kiss comes. However, he did nothing because he knew he was surrounded by all the people he had more or less despised throughout his high school. The moment was only falsely intimate. (Yeah, he chickened out, he knew, you don’t have to tell him). So, he walked away and smiled gently as if Aziraphale had revealed a secret that only he had heard. His best friend looked slightly surprised and blushed. This could have been due to what had just happened or to the hours of dancing, no one knew.

When they joined his mother who came to pick them up to bring him and Aziraphale back, Crowley realized that he had taken his friend's hand without realizing it. When his mother saw them coming, she bent her head as if to question him. He replied with a nod. She seemed exasperated. From an external point of view, it was difficult not to see them as a couple. She gave him a look that could say anything but above all "what the hell are you doing? "It was exactly what she thought.

They brought Aziraphale home. He warmly thanked Crowley's mother for bringing them and taking him home. He wished them good evening and got out of the car. As soon as the door was closed, his mother turned to him.

"Anthony, get moving and tell him!”

Without answering, Crowley got out of the car and quickly joined Aziraphale in front of the door of his house. He noted that this was only the second time he had been to Aziraphale's house. Anyway, not a time to think about that. 

"Angel?" Aziraphale, who already had the key in his hand, turned to him with an interrogating look, "Can we talk?”

"Your mother will be waiting for you, Anthony. We can totally talk tomorrow if you want.”

"No, no, no, don't worry, I have my mother's permission and it can't wait." Because of the questioning in Aziraphale's eyes, he added, "Please." 

"Okay, come with me to the garden."

Crowley turned to his mother in the car as she looked at them attentively. He signaled to her that he was going behind the house and she raised her two thumbs as a sign of encouragement.

Once in the garden, they remained standing. Aziraphale turned to his friend and waited for him to speak. Alas, at that moment, all Anthony's doubts returned. He tried to bury them so he could talk, but it was much more difficult than expected. The perfect moment had passed and it was difficult to recreate one.

"I... uh... well, I wanted to tell you that..." Anthony began. Nothing came out the way he wanted. He felt totally panicked, overwhelmed by his emotions, which he had been trying to control for almost three years. The words were stuck in his throat.

"Anthony, are you all right?" Aziraphale had a worried look that made his eyes darker. He had put his hand on Anthony's cheek. The air was fresh and the only light that allowed them to see each other was the moonlight. It was close to the perfect moment, even though, as Crowley would realize later, there is no such thing as “the perfect moment”.

Anthony leaned slightly, put his hand on Aziraphale's cheek in mirror to his friend's and finally kissed him. He let his lips gently brush against Aziraphale's. The heat Crowley felt at that time was the warmth of a chimney fire. There was nothing else behind this kiss but the desire to tell Aziraphale that he was in love with him, that he knew that university was coming and that therefore they could become something else, that they would be able to take advantage of their holidays together to discover another aspect of their relationship. It was the perfect first kiss of a teenager completely and entirely in love with his best friend with his fantasies about a future they could have together. After a few seconds, he broke the soft bubble in which he had locked himself.

When he opened his eyes again, he did not expect to see Aziraphale completely chocked. His friend looked him in the eye with horror as if he had done the worst possible thing in the world. The panic went straight to Crowley's throat. He had been wrong. Aziraphale didn’t like him. He had to make it right. Right now!

"Angel, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that.”

"Crowley... What... How, why?" Aziraphale started crying and Anthony had no idea if it was rage or grief.

"I thought that's what you wanted too. I’m..."

"I don’t even like you Crowley. Not that way. It's over. I don't want to be friends anymore.” 

"Aziraphale, you can't..."

He did not have time to finish his sentence as Aziraphale was running to open the door of his house and taking refuge there. Crowley remained completely stunned for a few seconds, taking the time to understand that not only did Aziraphale not love him, but that because of his feelings for him, he no longer wanted to be friends with him. Tears began to flow without him even noticing. Crowley remembered that his mother was waiting for him and ran to meet her in the car. He barely had time to get into the car when she put her arms around him to give him a hug. Anthony didn't need to say anything. His tears dropped onto his mother’s shoulder. When he was calm enough, they left for home. Once at home, Anthony went up to his room and without even changing or removing his make-up, dropped himself on his bed to cry. He didn't even know anymore if he was crying because of his heartache or for the loss of his best friend.

Fortunately, the next day, the Crowley family went on vacation. He had hesitated to call Aziraphale or send him a message. Faced with the temptation of having his number and the hope that one day Aziraphale would decide to contact him again, he changed his phone and number. He left his old phone off in the back of a closet. He never knew he had a message, received a month later from Aziraphale telling him that he was sorry and that he wanted to talk.

After several months, Crowley stopped thinking about it every day. After several years, he found his friend and it was as if all this had never happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello here, 
> 
> So, this is the hard part but is it really ? I hope you liked it even with all the heartbreak =3 Let me know what you think about it. 
> 
> The actual conversation is in the next chapter. I'm already halfway through it. This chapter will have a lot of TW. It will have a lot of internalized homophobia, self hatred, unsupportive relatives SO please, if you don't want to read about it, the chapter will have a large summary in the note. I'll do a very large note at the beginning for everything. 
> 
> As always, thanks to my amazing proofreader [@Lovethistoomuch](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lovethistoomuch/pseuds/Lovethistoomuch) who does an amazing job with her corrections and comments. 
> 
> Kudos and comments make my day brighter. Love and see you soon :D


	13. The talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aziraphale and Crowley talk about their past and a little intimate moment happens. 
> 
> TW : Homophobia, internalized homophobia, self hatred, religious guilt, unsupportive parents

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note the rating has changed. 
> 
> This chapter contains a description about the feelings of hate and guilt Aziraphale had when he was younger because of his homosexuality. This could be triggering. If you don't want to read this part, you can just skip the part between the stars "****". Just so you know, there is also good things in this thoughts. 
> 
> The talk between Crowley and Aziraphale also contains this elements but very lighter. I don't think the dialogue is triggering cause it is, I think, positive. If you really don't want any mention of homophobia or guilt, please go directly to " *Crowley smiled at him "
> 
> You can find a summary in the end notes.

Waiting for Crowley to arrive, Aziraphale had settled in with a book while drinking tea. He had taken out his white mug and performed this simple ritual that worked every time to relax. The last time he saw his friend / former crush / former best friend, Anthony had asked him if they could talk when he came back. This request had particularly stressed Aziraphale. It wasn’t Anthony’s style to make such a formal request. If he had _asked_ to talk, it must have been serious. Fortunately, he hadn't had time to spiral too much in his thoughts. The day after he left, Crowley sent him a message with a picture of his room to show him how little it had changed since high school. It made Aziraphale smile because he could see a lot of Crowley’s old drawings. He was curious to know if Crowley still drew and asked him. This is how an almost non-stop conversation over several days began.

Thanks to this conversation, so many memories came to the surface. Aziraphale felt like he was thinking about certain events for the first time in years. He then realized how much he had blocked all his memories from this time in his life. Every moment he recalled came back quickly and the memories weren’t painful anymore. Many years ago, he had sealed them in a box, itself enclosed in a box, closed by a padlock stored in a drawer of his brain and he had never opened that drawer again for two reasons: guilt and anger.

**** Aziraphale knew it, Anthony and he had a special relationship at that time. They were close, high school best friends who told each other everything, at least on the surface. One thing that Aziraphale had kept secret, or at least two things, was the fact that he had fallen in love with his best friend but above all, that he hated himself for it. He had no problem seeing other people loving whoever they wanted to love. Without really talking about it with Crowley, Aziraphale had understood that his friend could love someone without worrying about his gender or all these constructions of our heteronormative society. However, he had never asked any more questions, particularly because he did not want to talk about himself.

The feeling of love was perfectly acceptable to him, he didn't blame himself for loving a boy. No, he was angry at himself for being sexually attracted. He separated the two things in his mind and if one was quite respectable, the other was abnormal, dirty, vicious. It was a sin. Aziraphale resented thinking that way. He couldn't help but be disgusted by his thoughts and blamed himself for it when he admired the LGBT couples he could meet on the street. Guilt was eating away at him for being physically attracted to his best friend. He felt guilty about guilt. Sometimes he would pray to a God in whom he was not even sure he believed, to allow him to be "normal". He cried and hated himself for not feeling normal when he knew very well that his homosexuality shouldn't be a problem, he should be able to accept himself. And so, the circle was completed and started again. Sometimes Aziraphale didn't think about it at all for days or even weeks and then for a few minutes, hours and in the worst cases, days, he only thought about it. 

It didn't make any sense, he thought. He hated himself for being like that and he was so eager to talk to his best friend about it. He tried, several times. After all, Aziraphale called Anthony while he was still crying after a fight with his parents, he spent hours wetting his shoulder for different reasons, sometimes for this one, without telling him. The problem was that he didn't want to hurt his friend. Aziraphale feared that by admitting his greatest shame, Anthony would transfer this to himself, as if Aziraphale applied the same criteria to himself as to his friend. He didn’t but how can this ridiculous duality of feelings against oneself be explained to an outsider? Especially someone like Crowley whose parents were so open-minded that they bought him dresses and makeup. He also was jealous about the fact that Crowley had such a supportive family. He could just be and in his home, no one judged him for it. Every time Aziraphale felt jealousy rising in him, he felt so much guilt. He should only be happy that his best friend didn’t have to endure the same things.

Obviously, as Aziraphale realized a few years later, far away from the influence of his parents, he was experiencing internalized homophobia. His parents were doctors, but that didn't prevent them from being extremely conservative. They had never recovered from the legalization of the PACS(1) and as soon as they saw homosexual couples, homophobic reflections ensued. He had once heard his mother say that she did not understand why homosexuality had been removed from the list of mental illnesses according to the WHO. Moreover, his parents were obviously religious, intermittently, when it suited them. With the retrograde ideas regarding homosexuality, they agreed, with the possibility of loving your neighbor and accepting him, they didn’t. 

Aziraphale had therefore lived with this guilt, this feeling of not belonging, this idea that love and sex were two separate things (which can be totally the case, as he learned much later) one good, the other bad. Far away from his parents, discovering that others in his new circle of friends were like him and had gone through quite comparable things, he began to read, a lot. He found in books the conversations he had not been able to have and with a lot of time, and his first love at university, he finally accepted himself. The road was long with ups and downs, but after his 25th birthday, he found and accepted himself. 

Aziraphale ended up cutting ties with his parents. The hope of seeing them change was totally destroyed when the “mariage pour tous”(2) law was passed. Not only did he feel rejected by his parents, but he wondered how people who were not directly affected could decide to go to protest against a right for others that would not change their own lives. After one too many remarks at a family lunch by his father, he got up and told his parents that he no longer wanted to see them if they were still known to be homophobes. They had tried to protest by saying that "just because we are against same-sex marriage does not mean we are homophobic." However, Aziraphale was an adult and the financial independence he had acquired simply allowed him to withdraw so that he would never need to see them if he did not want to. And he didn't want to. 

Thinking back to all those early years (even though he objectively knew he was still young) Aziraphale wondered if that was what Crowley wanted to talk about. That would make sense after all. They had never had time to explain themselves honestly. When Crowley had kissed him, all Aziraphale had thought was, "Oh no, I finally got what I wanted and I can't have it." His second thought was the fear of being seen by his parents. His third was to cry about losing his best friend because of himself. After that, there were many more that he didn’t recall. ****

The small knocks on his front door allowed him to return to Earth. Just knowing that he was going to see Crowley again gave him butterflies in his stomach. He went to open the door and found his friend wearing a completely black suit and sunglasses. The detail that attracted Aziraphale's attention, as always, was his hair. The cascade of red locks around his face was always impressive to see when he decided to let them loose.

"Hello, dear, please come in." Aziraphale said, moving to the side. He had almost forgotten how much he had gotten used to his presence over the past two months. Now that he was finally here again, he realized that he had missed his warmth. Cowley leaned over to give him a peck on the cheek. The movement lacked fluidity, which made Aziraphale smile. It wasn't a habit they had had when they were friends in high school. "I'm glad to see you. I hope your parents are doing well. Please, you can sit down. What would you like to drink?”

Crowley sat on the couch much straighter than usual. He normally tended to take up a lot of space as soon as he was on a surface and, as Aziraphale knew from experience, this attitude was toned downwhen he had to be serious.

"If you have wine, I'll take it, angel.”

"I must have a few bottles. Red or white?"

"Red, thank you.”

Aziraphale went into the kitchen and came back with a bottle of wine that he had uncorked and two glasses. He served Anthony and handed him his drink while he sat in the chair on the other side of his little table. The conversation resumed as if he had not left the room.

"Ah and uh, my parents are fine. They say hello to you as they always do. My mother told me to tell you..." Crowley took out his phone to check his mother's words on a note or message "that she was very happy with your success and that she hoped you were fine and that she would be happy to see you again, especially if you wear a bow tie." The last words came out of Crowley's mouth quickly as if he didn't really want to express them. "My mother, the one and only.”

"I see your relationship is still the same."

"Oh no! "For two seconds, Aziraphale thought that Crowley's relationship with his parents might have taken a hit over the years before he got over it and said to himself that it was close to unlikely."Our relationship is much better. There is no longer all that tension that adolescence brought, you know: the desire to rebel against one's parents. I had no desire to become an adult but to be an adult with them... It's really something. And they've always put up with me a lot." 

"If I remember correctly, my dear, you were the first one to say that everyone had to ‘piss on the authority of their parents’ while at the same time you yourself listened to yours."

"My parents have always been special." Crowley smiled as he said that. "I realize, and it's probably rude of me, so, sorry, or maybe it's not because I didn’t like them, but: how are your parents doing?"

"I don't have the slightest idea." He couldn’t stop himself but smiling at the thought. Seeing Crowley's questioning look, Aziraphale decided to continue. "I haven't spoken to them in years.”

"Why? I know you weren't a big fan of your parents, but I didn't know it was so bad as to cut them off.”

"They're just notorious fucking homophobes and other bad things … I'm much better off without them." The shocked look on Anthony's face made Aziraphale laugh. "Don't look at me like that, Anthony. Looks like I've never sworn in front of you before. All right, I admit, it's not my habit but still.”

"No no, angel. I'm not shocked just surprised because no, it's not your habit. The coming out didn't go well?”

At these words, Aziraphale could not help but sit up straight in his chair and cross his hands together on his lap. This gesture always gave him the impression that he was able to control himself better. 

"I never really came out to my parents. Let's just say they made a comment and I couldn’t stand it anymore, so I decided to leave and never returned." A silence of a few seconds set in. Aziraphale was searching for words and, even though he had imagined this conversation several times over the years, they were more difficult to find than he thought. "I never told you directly, but I knew I was gay pretty soon after I started high school." He wondered if he should add _because I was in love with you Anthony, my dear_. It didn't seem like a good idea. "And I have to admit, I was ashamed of it. I was also ashamed of being ashamed of myself. It was a difficult time. It took me several years to reconcile myself with this part of me.”

Crowley didn't say anything for a few moments, perhaps waiting for Aziraphale to want to talk again. As the latter said nothing, Anthony took off his glasses which had still been perched on his nose. This simple gesture filled Aziraphale with tenderness. This conversation was important enough, Aziraphale was important enough for Crowley to let himself be seen.

"Why didn't you tell me about it? You knew about me. I could have helped you. Your parents were assholes, but me and my family would have been there for you.”

"It’s rather complicated. I didn't want you to think that my shame, that I was only pointing at myself, meant that I was judging you or thinking something negative about you. It's really stupid when you think about it. I still lost you because of that, my shame, my jealousy, my anger. I would have liked to talk to you about it earlier, but when I asked you to talk, after all this, it was already too late.”

Aziraphale felt melancholic to bring up all these fears and regrets. While he was talking, Crowley looked indecipherable. For a moment, there was a flash of something on his face that left so quickly Aziraphale couldn’t read it. Then Anthony changed his expression to something tender and sweet. 

"Oooh Angel, I'm so sorry. I didn't know you were going through all of this and I imposed on you..." Anthony didn't have time to finish his sentence because Aziraphale had got up, joined him on the couch and put his hand on his.

"No, no, no, Anthony, please don't apologize for that. It was my fault for not talking to you and reacting like that. I didn't blame you for kissing me. I resented you for not replying to my message, but in the end, you had every right to protect yourself. To be perfectly honest, it was exactly what I wanted, for you to kiss me. Only, I was absolutely not ready to take on all those complicated feelings and I turned my hatred of myself against you, and it wasn't fair.” He had wanted to say that so long ago. It felt so incredibly good to just say that to his dearest friend. “Can you, with many years of delay for this request, forgive me?”

*Crowley smiled at him. His whole face looked bright. And before Aziraphale could see him move, Anthony's hand was on his cheek. His thumb gently stroking it. This gesture was such a gentle and caring one that Aziraphale felt tears rising in his eyes. Being able to have this conversation, to make this confession, he had wanted it so many years earlier. Being together again, being honest with Crowley seemed to be a dream come true.

"Of course, angel. There's been a lot of water under the bridge as they say. And I should have talked to you, asked you before I kissed you, told you the things I had to tell you. Maybe things would have been different. But, anyway, I'm glad I found you again.”

"So am I, my dear.”

For a few perfect seconds, Aziraphale wondered if he could stop time or at least slow it down so that this feeling of relief could stay longer. There was also the softness of Crowey's hand on his cheek. Then, the realization that he had said everything and he was forgiven filled him with joy. The moment quickly ended as Anthony withdrew his hand and started talking again. 

"I didn't know you sent me any messages. Everything happened so quickly and so differently from what I had anticipated, I preferred to get a new phone and a new number.” Crowley’s voice was low, charged with a lot of feelings Aziraphale couldn’t identify.

"I figured it out, dear. I was very angry with you, not wanting to talk to me anymore. I thought you understood, which was impossible. I've been angry with you for a long time for that. When I forgave you, I realized that the only person responsible for all this was myself."Aziraphale thought back to what Anthony had just told him. "What did you think would happen? "The slight red blush that appeared on his friend's face did not go unnoticed.

"Oh, you know, the happy ending of teenage romantic comedies where the two characters get together and spend a dream summer before crying because university life begins. My mother was so convinced that you felt something for me..." He couldn’t finish his thought because Aziraphale wanted to be honest.

"Didn't you listen to what I told you, Anthony?” His tone was so soft and soothing. “Of course, I felt something for you. You were fascinating, free, completely yourself, funny and you still are. I'm sorry I didn't have the same courage as you." A tear ran down Aziraphale's cheek, that Anthony swept away with his hand immediately. It was a quick and intimate gesture and done in a way as if he didn't even have to think about it.

"I'm glad to know that. Of course, I wish everything had happened differently, but I always wanted to know why." Crowley gave him a mischievous smile that blew a beat in the angel's heart. "And now, I know you think I'm cute." This reflection immediately lightened the atmosphere and made Aziraphale laugh slightly.

"Oh, so you got that message... I had my doubts when I saw that you didn't answer and you didn't mention it.”

"Since we're in an open conversation, I'm going to be honest with you, I didn't know what to say. I wasn't thinking straight when I sent you the message from Anathema's phone." Aziraphale's accusatory look said a lot at that moment. "Yes, yes, I know. It was obvious it was me. Please have mercy." Crowley laughed again and Aziraphale thought briefly, without realizing it, that he would like to hear this sound much more often." And I didn't know what your answer meant.”

"What do you think this message meant, my dear?" When Aziraphale said this, he grasped a strand of hair that had fallen in front of one of Crowley's eyes with his fingers and tucked it in behind his friend's ear. How could someone have such beautiful hair?

"I don't know... I wouldn't want to..." When met with Aziraphale's serious gaze, Crowley decided after a long exhalation. "Flirting, I guess.”

"What if it were?" The blond man's voice was calm and clear.

"First of all, I'd say I'd be happy. Secondly, I would change the subject of conversation to pretend not to be embarrassed, something like ‘hey by the way, do you have crisps?’ to get you out of the room. And when you come back, we'll talk about something else. But all this is obviously hypothetical." 

"Of course, of course."Aziraphale simply replied.

"Hey, angel, do you have any crisps?"

Aziraphale smiled at him and stood up, breaking the comfortable contact that had settled between them. "Let me check. I'll be right back." He get up and went from the living room to the kitchen.

Inspecting his closets and lost in thought after their conversation, Aziraphale did not hear Anthony following him into the kitchen. He only realized his presence when two arms embraced him at the waist from behind, Crowley's chin lodged in the hollow of his neck. His red and soft hair tickled Airaphale’s cheek. After steadying himself with a breath, the blond put one of his hands on Crowley's, which were joined on his stomach. He also turned his head slightly to smell the perfume from his hair. This smell made his head spin.He pressed his lips slightly in Crowley's hairs. Anthony didn't move and Aziraphale lost himself in his senses after closing his eyes. 

Aziraphale was suddenly aware of all the points of contact between him and Crowley. His back was wrapped in Anthony's chest. The pressure of Anthony's hands, the presence of his arms, the smell of his shampoo mixed with his perfume, Aziraphale felt everything with an intensity that he had never experienced before. Of course, he had already found himself in this situation with his boyfriend (even if Crowley wasn't his boyfriend, thank you for remembering) embracing him like this from behind when he was busy doing something but this simple action had never had this intensity. His senses and thoughts were totally saturated by Crowley. It would have been so easy to turn around and kiss him now. It was, after all, his turn to initiate this action. Before he could decide to do anything, Anthony spoke, his breath tickling the skin of Aziraphale's neck near his lips.

"Thank you Angel. For telling me everything, even years later. It means a lot to me.”

"I'm so sorry, Anthony." He hadn't moved or even opened his eyes. Crowley's hands began to move slowly, stroking his belly where they were resting. He jumped gently at the contact and then let himself go to the sweetness of the moment. 

"All is forgiven, angel. And here we are, after all. No time to regret the past.”

Crowley remained in this position for a few more seconds. Aziraphale felt him breathe deeply as he had done himself only a moment ago. While removing his hands, Anthony pressed his lips against his friend's skin, where the neck ends and the shoulder begins. A _very_ sensitive place for Aziraphale. The contact between Anthony’s lips and his skin made Aziraphale shiver and sent an electric current to his crotch. He pushed his nails into his skin by closing his fist and squeezing his lips to prevent a noise from coming out of his mouth. He was aware that he was probably blushing. He quickly opened his eyes to check that his state was not physically visible. Fortunately, unless you were really staring, it wasn't. Moreover, Crowley was behind him. He couldn’t notice and if he did notice he didn’t say anything as he gently let go of Aziraphale and started talking again, leaving the kitchen. 

"All right, find the crips. I'm going to go get us some more wine.”

After a few seconds to regain control of his mind and over his body, Aziraphale found a packet of crisps that he brought back and placed on the small table with a bowl, right next to the bottle of whine, Crowley had apparently found. After a moment of hesitation, he decided to sit on the couch with Crowley, who was much more relaxed and therefore took up much more space.

"Move over, Anthony. You haven't changed, you always take the whole couch to yourself.” 

"Oh, it's fine, isn't it? My parents have told me that enough this week. Hey, do you remember Cassandra?"

The conversation between them continued easily until they realized it was dinner time and decided to go to the Japanese restaurant near Aziraphale's house for sushi. They only stopped talking when Crowley, after finishing their meal at the restaurant, informed Aziraphale that he had to go home because he had work to do the next day. Their goodbye was charged with tension when Anthony bent over to kiss Aziraphale on the cheek, right next to the corner of his mouth. The latter was sure he had blushed. A last smile and his friend left on his side of the pavement while Aziraphale, returning home, already had his phone in his hands to ask Anathema if he could call her.

(1) PACS (pacte civil de solidarité in french) is an alternative contract to marriage (with less rights). It was the first contract for couple of same sex when France didn't allow marriage. 

(2) Mariage pour tous (marriage for all) is the name of the french law that opened marriage for every couples. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was so dense ! Hope you find it good. They should have kiss right ? If you want to let me know what you think, I'll be grateful *.*
> 
> Now, here comes the good stuff. 
> 
> Thanks to my amazing proofreader [@Lovethistoomuch](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lovethistoomuch/pseuds/Lovethistoomuch) who does, always, an amazing job with this. 
> 
> Summary : Aziraphale didn't react well (this is a euphemism) to Crowley's kiss cause he felt guilty. He didn't want to be attracted to men and he hated himself for not accepting this part of him. He felt this only for him, not others and he was afraid if he would lose Crowley if he confessed that. His parents were homophobes, that didn't help. But with university, books and friends, he understood what he was going through and accepted himself. He stopped talking to his parents because of their reflexions.


	14. Rendez-vous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First dinner together. Is this a date ?
> 
> No TW

Raphaëlle arrived at the closed door of Aziraphale's office, which was strange. She quickly wondered how she got there. Her class had probably finished a few minutes earlier and it was time for their daily appointment right? When she knocked, gently, the door opened by itself. Aziraphale was standing in front of his desk, his back to Crowley. The latter entered the room and, after making a movement of her fingers, closed the door. Her attention was focused on Aziraphale. The light was slightly different than usual as if it emanated from her personal angel. Raphaëlle hugged him from behind passing her arms around Aziraphale's waist as she had done the first time. When was that first time again? She didn't remember it, but it wasn't important. She deposited a quick kiss on the angel cheek. 

"Hello, my dear.”

"Hello, angel.”

She allowed herself to enjoy the comfortable position for a few seconds before letting her lips descend on Aziraphale's neck. She planted several successive kisses, soft and tender, before adding her teeth to bite the skin lightly. She felt the blond man's breathing change and it made her smile.

"Darling, someone might see us! What are you doing?”

"I think I'm trying to tempt you, angel. Towards other more interesting activities.”

"We're in my office!”

"It's not really a problem..."

Another movement of her fingers, (had she snapped them?), and curtains appeared on all the windows. She continued to kiss all the accessible skin.

"We could be heard. Someone could get into the office.”

"I took care about that. Let yourself go angel.”

Raphaëlle felt powerful and strong. She felt so different from her usual self with the certainty that Aziraphale was hers. She had never felt like this before. What had changed? The angel turned to her and all she could see were his eyes. Apart from them, her field of vision was totally blurry. Her world had shrunk to these deep blue eyes. Completely lost in them, she did not see that Aziraphale had approached to kiss her. This kiss inflamed her, her body, her mind, her whole being was sweating with desire for Aziraphale.

Change of position. They were no longer standing but on the couch. How did they get there? She didn't have time to think. Her boyfriend's mouth (they were together from now on, right? If they did that kind of thing...) was wandering around on her chest. Raphaëlle's breathing was erratic. When Aziraphale reached the hollow of her neck, he bit her so perfectly that she could not help but scream ...

Her scream echoed in the room and she opened her eyes. She was in the dark. Why was she in the dark? It took her a few seconds to gather her thoughts. A dream. It was a dream, wasn't it? She checked her phone ... 4:00 a.m.

Everything had seemed so real to her. It was really _fucking_ frustrating. Totally awake, slightly sweaty, with a body that had still not understood that all this was only a dream, Raphaëlle decided to get up and take a shower. Anyway, it would be impossible for her to go back to sleep after that, she was thinking about how she should face Aziraphale's gaze with all those intense images in her head.

\---

Crowley had just returned the papers his students had written before the holidays. He hated having to give bad marks. Each time, he felt guilty like he failed as a teacher. It was all the more frustrating when the work had been prepared at home. They had access to their books, to the Internet. If they wanted, they could talk to each other. Crowley had been very clear on that.

One of his students had burst into tears. Marina was one of those students so stressed all the time and with such a fear of failure that Crowley anticipated it. He handed her a Kleenex and invited her to come and see him after the class. However, given the results, this did not prevent him from reminding them of the importance of investing time and effort in their work.

"I am very disappointed with your results." The atmosphere in the room was heavy. As he knew, his students, did not want to disappoint him. He didn't know if it was out of fear of being reprimanded (especially since he had metaphorically set the group on fire after plagiarism) or out of respect for him. "You should all at least have the average mark. You have chosen to be here. You'll have to work a lot harder if you want to have any hope of passing my class." Crowley didn't need to scream. On the contrary, his voice was very cold. He had discovered that this had more effect. The only ones he allowed himself to scream at were his plants. "Well, we'll take some time to revise the elements you didn't understand. Please keep your questions until the end of the demonstration. 

The hour passed and after explaining the same thing for the tenth time (pedagogy is the art of repetition), Crowley freed the students. He was sitting on his desk, directly on it, when Marina came to see him.

"Professor, I'm sorry. I didn't want to react like that..." Crowley raised his hand to interrupt her.

"Marina, you don't need to apologize. You have the right to make mistakes and I am sure that your mark is only an exception. I just wanted to make sure you knew that too.” 

"Yes, Professor. Thank you, Professor.”

"Good. You will succeed, I have no doubt. If you have any questions, feel free to ask me." He nodded slightly to indicate that if she wanted to leave, she was free to do so. 

"Thank you, Professor." She repeated herself with her tone as nervous as ever. "Have a good day.”

When she left, Crowley decided to look at his notes before hearing a sound of footsteps in the room. Looking up, he saw Aziraphale heading towards him. Despite his glasses, he was sure that his emotions could be easily read on his face, images of his dream coming back before his inner eye and making him turn red.

"Hello, my dear." Of course, he was going to say exactly the same thing as in his dream. Otherwise it was no fun, was it? The two had not seen each other since their conversation three days earlier. However, their conversation by messages only rarely stopped (most often when Aziraphale decided to read a book). Objectively, Anthony was happy to see him in his classroom. At least it saved him a moment that he was sure would have been very embarrassing in Aziraphale’s office. "Did your course go well? I didn't mean to interrupt, but I heard what you were saying to your student. Is she all right?" 

"I gave them their paper back. The grades were not up to their expectations or mine and you know what can happen in these cases. She's a stressed student, she needed that, I think."

"You're really very kind to do this for her."Aziraphale's smile was radiant. The compliment touched Crowley's heart, like everything Aziraphale said ... 

"Mmmmh, if you say so." Compliments were uncomfortable for Crowley too, so he decided to change the topic as soon as possible. "Why are you here? I'll see you this afternoon, right?”

"Ah right, that’s why I’m here. I came to inform you that I will not be available this afternoon. I have a last-minute meeting with Gabriel." Anthony couldn't help but be slightly frustrated, not jealous, no, frustrated. Since he had seen Gabriel, he wondered why Aziraphale had not decided to continue dating him. With what had happened between them a few days earlier, he hoped it was partly because of him. Besides, should he talk about what happened between them? "The meeting is for all the directors of the literature department. With the new five-year plan, we need to review our programs." Had Aziraphale somehow understood what Anthony had thought? Otherwise, why would he say he wasn't alone with Gabriel? _Stop over-analyzing everything_ , he said to himself with his mother's voice.

"Don't worry, Angel. You could have told me that in a text, you know.” Crowley tried to look nonchalant and detached when, in truth, he was more than happy that Aziraphale had come to tell him in person.

"If I hadn't come, I probably wouldn't have seen you all day and I would have had to wait until tomorrow..." The end of the sentence was left unspoken. After walking the few steps that separated them, Aziraphale put his hand on Anthony's. "And I also wanted to ask you of you wanted to have dinner with me on Friday night.”

Anthony's heart stopped in his chest. It was ridiculous. He wasn't that attached. Okay, maybe he was crushing on his friend, _again_ , but it couldn't have been anything beyond that! Not so fast.

"Yeah, okay, sure, why not?”

"Perfect. I'll see you tomorrow, dear. Have a good day.” 

Anthony felt Aziraphale's hand gently squeezing his own as a goodbye. He couldn't hear himself answer, too busy thinking about what it meant, whether it was their first date or not, whether he had to ask to be sure...

\----

Raphaëlle did not dare to ask Aziraphale directly if their dinner was a date during the week. Of course, the people Crowley asked for their opinion all had the same reaction, a deep and long sigh. After calling her mother who informed her that it was obvious, she stuck her head in Anathema's office. Every time she passed through the lands of the literature department, almost all the professors looked at her like she was an alien. It made her laugh a lot. 

"Hey Professor Device, am I disturbing you?" She looked up from her computer after a few seconds. Anathema seemed to be immersed in work. "You look busy. Just to ask you if you want to come over for a drink tonight?”

"Sorry, I have a paper to finish and I'm almost done. Tonight's okay. Shall we go home together? Meet here at six o'clock?" 

"Noted, see you later.”

When she came back to pick up Anathema in the late afternoon, she met Gabriel. They talked for a few minutes before Crowley apologized and informed him that she had to go to see Anathema. Gabriel intrigued her. She still didn't know if he could become a real friend, but she liked his direct side.

After picking up Anathema, they took the car and returned home while discussing their respective weeks. When she arrived, Raphaëlle got two beers from the fridge (if Aziraphale preferred wine, Anathema preferred beer) and settled on the couch with her friend.

"Well, what's going on? "Anathema asked more than directly as if it was obvious that something was happening.

"What? Can't I invite you like this because I want to? " Raphaëlle tried to have an innocent tone but failed monumentally.

"You know I feel that kind of thing. Tell me what's going on " She elbowed her slightly, which made Raphaëlle laugh.

"Okay, two things. One, I'm having dinner with Aziraphale tomorrow, alone and I'm not sure if it's really a date." This statement was greeted with a deep sigh. "You react like my mother. You guys have conspired against me, haven't you? Well, second of all, not knowing the first one, you have to help me choose my outfit!”

"This is ridiculous!" Anathema got up and walked to the bedroom. Raphaëlle followed her without protest. Anathema opened her closet and studied the clothes inside. She turned to Crowley. "Well, if it's a date, and I won’t say anything about it, you’ll have to ask, what would you put on?”

After putting the beers she had brought down on her bedside table, Raphaëlle examined her closet and her various clothes. The choices were many. She took out several sets and laid them out on her bed. Her friend studied them and after selecting two of them, asked Raphaëlle to put them on so that she could decide. After choosing the right outfit, they returned to the living room to discuss something completely different.

\---

Friday night had arrived far too quickly. Anthony had seen Aziraphale as usual during the afternoon. His stress levels only began to rise afterwards, when he arrived home to prepare. He tried to relax by playing music, Queen, as loud as possible. It didn't help him much. Fortunately, the ensemble he and Anathema had wisely selected waited on his bed. It was very similar to what he had worn at the prom. The irony had not escaped him: black slim jeans cut for women, stiletto heels, shirt and jacket also cut for women. He hesitated for a long time about make-up and jewelry before deciding to wear earrings and a silver necklace. His hair was partially tied together, forming a half bun. His makeup was limited to mascara and nude lipstick. He had just finished to put his lipstick on when his phone vibrated.

 **Mum <3:** Stop stressing and everything will be fine. Thank you for reporting back to me on your evening as soon as you get home. Well, if you are available tonight … ;)

 **Mum <3:** I love you very much. Dad loves you too.

 **Big Snake:** MUUUUUMMMM ! You're really the worst. What are you insinuating ?

 **Mum <3 :** Nothing nothing O=) Have a good night ! 

**Big Snake:** Thank you I love you!

After driving far too fast, with the excuse of stress, Crowley parked a few blocks from the restaurant. As November began to get cold, he had to put on a black, English coat over his outfit, which he particularly hated. During the few steps separating his car from the restaurant, all the possible scenarios for this evening passed through his head. He had already examined them all and, with the memory of the last time he had done that, had tried not to focus on them. This was particularly complicated since he had five days to prepare for this date, well not a date, not really, surely a date. All his apprehensions disappeared when he set eyes on the white spot that Aziraphale was at this distance. No matter what happened or didn't happen, he was glad to be able to have these moments.

Once Aziraphale saw him, he moved to meet him. Crowley had his hands in his coat, wishing he had put on gloves. He didn’t know how he should greet his friend. Facing each other, Anthony decided to play it safe with a single.

"Hello again, angel.” 

The angel in question, who wasn't one but who could have been confused with one between his namesake, his hair and his tendency to dress in clear colors, smiled at him tenderly. Fortunately, Crowley’s hands were in his pockets, otherwise he would probably have thrown himself at him, putting his hands in his blond hair to kiss him. Aziraphale got up on his tiptoes, the heels accentuated their difference in size, and planted a kiss on his cheek, very close to his lips. Okay, maybe it was a date.

"Hello again, my dear." Linking their arms Aziraphale brought Crowley inside the restaurant. As the waiter brought them to their table, Anthony took a few seconds to look around him. The restaurant was intimate. There were few tables in the actual interior part. Most of them were located under a veranda, giving access to a small garden illuminated by floor lamps. The place was charming.

After the waiter took their coat, they sat down and their eyes met. Anthony had left his glasses at home and wondered what Aziraphale was seeing in his eyes. Was he happy with what he saw? Crowley, after all the tension he had felt, found himself particularly calm in this intimate moment. He was not examining the emotions that he could easily have read if he had wanted to on Aziraphale’s face. He just let himself admired the blond. Realizing that he had not looked at Aziraphale's clothes, he broke the connection between their eyes. The latter wore a beige suit, a white shirt and a bow tie in a tartan pattern. His fashion sense was still not 21st century and the though made Anthony smile. The waiter came to bring the menus, which forced them to talk.

"Do you know what you want to drink gentlemen, or would you prefer to look at the menu first?" asked the waiter.

Aziraphale replied immediately. "Yes, we'll have a bottle of chianti, please." Turning his eyes to Crowley, he added, "Or do you want something else, dear?"

"Nope, chianti, perfect for me." The waiter left to bring them back the bottle and take their order. Anthony turned his eyes to the menu. "I have no idea what to take.”

Aziraphale took his own menu and showed him some dishes. "Their best plates are their mushroom risotto or salmon pasta.”

"Which one do you take, angel?"

"I was thinking I wanted to have the pasta.”

"I can have the risotto and we can share, if you want?”

Crowley was afraid that the suggestion would be unwelcome, not everyone liked to share their food, but it made Aziraphale smile. If he continued like this, he would surely get a cramp. This thought made Anthony smile too. The waiter arrived to take their order and served the wine. The two friends toasted and the conversation started very easily.

First, they talked about work. Aziraphale explained to him that he was overwhelmed with his new obligations as a director. The paperwork was taking an ever-increasing place in his work, which was cutting into his research time. This was all the more of a problem as he had a conference coming up in a few months and his contribution was to be completed in a few weeks. Crowley sympathized all the more because he understood perfectly. Teaching was very time consuming and his research was also affected. In the meantime, their dishes had arrived. 

"I never asked you," Anthony began, "but how did your thesis go? In experimental sciences, we are all required to have a contract and therefore a salary, but I know that for the human sciences, you are not necessarily paid." He couldn't help but notice the delicate way Aziraphale ate everything, tasting every bite.

"We are rarely ever paid! I was unfortunately unable to get a contract but my family was there to support me. They did this for me, I can't take it away from them. In addition, I was teaching classes." After wrapping pasta around his fork, he asked Anthony, "Would you like to try my dear?" Anthony nodded and Aziraphale held out the fork to him to taste. Crowley could not look Aziraphale in the eyes so he decided to close his eyes and open his lips slightly as he took it in his mouth. This gesture was so intimate, almost sensual. Feeling a little sauce above his lip, he licked it with his tongue and when he opened his eyes again, he noticed that Aziraphale hadn't moved at all and his cheeks were slightly tinged with pink.

"It's delicious angel. Thank you.” 

The phrase seemed to bring Aziraphale out of his trance. Crowley smiled at him and decided to do the same. Taking a fork from his dish, he brought it to Aziraphale, who took it gently. If being fed was sensual, doing the same thing was downright erotic. Anthony laughed softly.

"Still as perfect as ever, dear.”

When Anthony came to his senses again, he took his glass of wine and decided to sip it in the hope of stopping himself from smiling like an idiot. A silence settled before Aziraphale resumed.

"What about you, then? How did your university years go?”

Anthony then told him how he had made a mistake in his orientation, had taken a year for himself and then returned to astronomy. On his thesis subject, Aziraphale asked some questions in order to understand. He was mostly lost, which made Crowley laugh. After all, they were in totally separate universes. Aziraphale then spoke to him about his subject. Both exchanged anecdotes about their lives as doctoral students. Aziraphale's experience had been better because, in Crowley’s university, if you weren’t a doctor, you were a piece of shit. He had hated the atmosphere between professors and doctoral students. Since then, he had sworn to never do that to his students.

When they had finished their main course, they each ordered a tiramisu. "Are you sure you want dessert?”, Crowley teased Aziraphale, wiggling his eyebrows which made the blond laugh.

"Oh Crowley, you're really rude. Gabriel and I are good friends now!”

"And you're only 'just friends' because he didn't want to have dessert, that's what I'm implying." Crowley knew he looked mischievous. Teasing Aziraphale was always a pleasure.

The tiramisus were delicious and the conversation continued so easily. Returning to his tattoo, Aziraphale asked him if it had been painful. Crowley explained to him that getting a face tattoo had been both the crime and the punishment. The one on his back had been a pleasure to deal with. Aziraphale did not ask him what kind of tattoo he had on his back, which surprised Crowley.

The meal came to an end. After trying to pay, Crowley capitulated to a determined Aziraphale and warned him that next time it would be him. When Aziraphale approved, the idea that there would be a next time made Crowley's heart grow fonder. Once the coats were recovered, they left the restaurant. For a few seconds, Anthony felt embarrassed, not knowing at all what the protocol was. He had little doubt that all this had been a date, but he didn’t know what was expected of him now. Before he had time to really think, he grabbed Aziraphale's hand and words came out of his mouth.

"Do you want a ride home? I have my car.”

"Are you sure? I don’t want to trouble you."

"Of course I’m sure, angel. Come on.”

Crowley let go of his friend's hand slightly, to give him the opportunity to remove it but instead Aziraphale intertwined their fingers, turning Crowley's face pink again. This man would be his end, he was sure of it. 

They walked hand in hand, resuming their discussion on a subject Anthony didn't care about at all. He was only wondering if he should do something or wait. And, if he was going to kiss him, when was he supposed to do it? Before they got to the car? In front of the car ? When he would drop off his friend? Too many possibilities that were both terrifying and exciting.

Before he realized it, Crowley was in front of Aziraphale's building and turning off the engine. A heavy silence settled between them, a waiting, a desire. Tension was rising and it was impossible to ignore it. After a deep breath that was cruelly lacking in discretion, Anthony took his hands off the wheel and turned to Aziraphale.

"Thank you for the night ang ..."

He stopped in the middle of his sentence when Aziraphale placed his hands around his face. Blue eyes stared at him so intensely that he wondered if he should look away. Aziraphale seemed to see him, really see him, as if by looking into his eyes, he could read all of Crowley's emotions, his past, his sorrows and his joys. Before he had time to analyze anything, Aziraphale leaned towards him and stopped a few millimeters from his lips. They stayed like this for a few seconds, which seemed closer to eternity than to a single moment. Their noses touched and Anthony could smell Aziraphale's perfume as if it were his own. Without realizing it, Crowley placed his hand in Aziraphale's blond hair and closed the distance between their lips.

Their first kiss began with a meeting of lips, a simple chaste pressure. It remained like this for a few seconds, the time required to get used to this novelty and to close their eyes. Then slowly, their lips began to move. Anthony's free hand passed around Aziraphale's waist to bring him as close as possible within the limits of what a car would allow. He felt like a teenager. 

The sweetness of Aziraphale's lips made him drunk, drunk with happiness, drunk with desire and his mouth, in reaction, opened. The kiss took on a new intensity. The taste of Aziraphale was on the tip of his tongue, a mixture of wine, tiramisu and something else he had never tasted before. The blond man's hands stroked his face, explored his hair, and sent electric currents through his whole body. Emotions only increased and Anthony moaned slightly. He felt Aziraphale's smile against his mouth and the blond’s hands went down along Crowley’s chest to rest on his hips. The temperature rose even though the car's heater was off. Anthony got totally lost in that kiss. Time no longer existed, the world was no longer there, the only reality was Aziraphale's mouth against his, Aziraphale's hands on his body, the scent of his skin in his nose.

The wave of sensations eventually subsided and after a silent agreement, their mouths closed again, going back to the gentle, soft kissing they had started with. For a few more seconds, Anthony just enjoyed the feeling of Aziraphale's lips on his own and then moved them away from his mouth, onto the blond man's face, planted kisses on the right cheek, left cheek, nose, chin, finally after a last pressure on the lips, he moved a few centimeters away and opened his eyes.

He wanted to close them and started kissing Aziraphale again the second he saw the latter's smile on his slightly pinker lips. Neither of them had taken their hands off each other. A gentle silence set in and they joined their foreheads together as the blond man stroked the redhead's cheek.

"Wow, it was..." Anthony began. However, he could not find an adjective equal to what he was feeling at that moment. Aziraphale completed.

"Tickety-boo!" This made Crowley laugh and he backed away slightly. Aziraphale looked at him and then came to his senses, adding, suddenly wide eyed. "Oh no. Now the first thing I have said after our first kiss will forever be tickety-boo!"

Anthony calmed himself down and, with a huge smile, replied, "It's fucking perfect angel." And, because he could, he kissed him again.

Time stopped. After a few seconds, minutes or maybe even an hour, who knows, they broke the kiss.

"Would you like to come up for a nightcap, dearest?" Oh, remarked Anthony, that was new. Looking Aziraphale straight in the eyes, he judged his options. Going up with Aziraphale meant what it meant, both of them had to be in the same condition even if the gearshift between their legs prevented Crowley from being certain. With someone else, he may have gone, but he didn't want to go too fast. He wanted to enjoy that first moment without adding another one on top. He seemed to have taken a little too long to answer because Aziraphale added while stroking his cheek "It's only a proposal, my dear. I wouldn't blame you at all if you said no.”

Anthony smiled at him and turned his head to kiss the inside of the hand against his cheek. "I think I'm going to go home. I want to take time with you. Does that bother you?”

Aziraphale leaned over and kissed him again before removing his hand and lips. "Absolutely not, dear. I don't want to go too fast either." He opened the door and before he left, Anthony was able to taste his lips one last time. "Good night, Anthony.”

"Good night angel." The latter replied as Aziraphale stepped out of the car. He waited until the blond man, who waived at him before entering his building, was out of sight to pick up his phone and call his mother to tell her everything.

He had kissed an angel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my amazing proofreader [@Lovethistoomuch](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lovethistoomuch/pseuds/Lovethistoomuch) and her amazing comments on this story <3 
> 
> HERE BEGINS THE FLUFF !!!!! (I made a reference to another show in this :p Anyone sees it ?)
> 
> Kudos and comments make my day brighter and fuel my writing =D


	15. Aziraphale's week-end

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Breakfast, Tea Time and Brunch !
> 
> No TW

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my amazing proofreader [@Lovethistoomuch](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lovethistoomuch/pseuds/Lovethistoomuch) who makes every chapters better <3

While in his sofa, Aziraphale was replaying the evening he had just spent. The feeling of being a teenager with a crush on the most handsome student in high school was absolutely not gone. It was even more present. He may not have been a teenager anymore, but he definitely had a crush (or more but this was for later…).

The kisses they exchanged had almost literally made him fly. His whole body was still electrified from them. He had felt not only an immense joy but also a desire so deep that it had seemed unbelievable to him. His body and mind had been completely active, all his nerves had responded.

Had it always been like this? The first kisses with his exes? Aziraphale did not have a ton of examples but he had had his fair share of first kisses. Nothing compared, he thought, to what he had felt when his lips and tongue met Anthony's. Or maybe Aziraphale was floating far too high from it right now. Or, maybe, over the years he had forgotten how exceptional the first kisses were. It was more likely that, wasn't it? Or, this time was really special.

Aziraphale heard the sound of Crowley's car leaving long after he had entered his apartment. He had taken a glass of wine and had sat down comfortably, loosing himself in his various thoughts. He was currently looking at his phone as an enemy. Was it reasonable to send a message after a quarter of an hour? Or half an hour? Or did he have to wait a little longer, say, tomorrow morning. To hell with conventions. He picked up his phone and made several attempts to find the right message to send.

 **Aziraphale Fell:** Good evening my dear, thank you for the wonderful night we had together. Sweet dreams. (I think I forgot to tell you, you were beautiful tonight.)

When he was in love (no he was not …), Aziraphale had always been a reserved person. After his first disastrous experience, and all his prejudices, he had never been the one who made the first move. Asking Anthony to have dinner together with the message that it wasn't really just a dinner with a friend had probably been one of the biggest challenges of his life. He didn’t say it was a date on purpose because he has not been really confident about it. However, when he saw Crowley from afar while he was waiting in front of the restaurant, his mind had suddenly become clear: he wanted this person in his life and if he wanted to get him, he would have to do something.

And everything had been perfect.

After finishing his glass of wine, the blond was still in that state of excitement after his first date, his first kiss. Not wanting to sleep at all, he had to find something to do: writing or working required too much concentration on his part. A book would be perfect. His phone vibrated as he was about to get up to look for the book he was reading. Curiosity being too strong, he sat down to consult his messages.

 **Crowley:** Hey Angel, I'm at home. Without this text message, I wouldn't even be sure that this evening really happened. Anyway. I think I'm going to watch a movie.

 **Aziraphale Fell:** It's quite late and you were always a big sleeper. You should go to bed.

 **Crowley:** My bed is a little big for me alone right now !

 **Crowley:** Oh, shit, ignore my last message.

 **Crowley:** I meant, I'm not tired right now. I had a very busy evening...

 **Aziraphale Fell:** Everything is fine, dear. Just because we're going slow doesn't mean you have to worry about all the thoughts you might have and about sharing them with me. I also just had quite a night. I'm going to read a little bit. Good night, my dear.

 **Crowley:** Okay, Angel. Good night :) 

After putting his cell phone on charge, Aziraphale went to sit in his bed and finished Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice again. Very quickly, however, his mind drifted to other thoughts that included red hair, a little smile, and a soothing scent. His last conscious thought was that he could have had this for years but he was so happy to have it now.

After only a few hours but a more than restorative sleep, it was necessary for Aziraphale to get up. Not only did he have a lesson to finish, but he also had to see Gabriel today. They had agreed during the week to drink tea together in a small café that also served delicious little pastries according to Gabriel.

The question quickly arose as to whether he should tell Gabriel that he was with someone. After all, they had become friends and he no longer seemed interested in something romantic when they were together. However, they had talked about it and Gabriel had asked him to inform him.

Very quickly, Aziraphale's spirit began to run. Gabriel had asked him to tell him, but he had only kissed Crowley. Their relationship was not clearly identified. Did they really need to put a name to this relationship when on Aziraphale's side it was very clear anyway that he wanted to invest himself in what they had? Maybe Crowley didn't want him to tell anyone? It wasn't even 24 hours after all. If he asked Crowley, would he scare him? At the same time, he needed to know since Gabriel had shown him that it was possible to communicate even in such special cases. Aziraphale had never done this before, communication so soon in a relationship. He might jeopardize everything by going too fast.

His mind was full of thoughts and he felt that wave rising. He was used to it and still hated it but he now knew how to manage. Step one: Breathe. Breathe in, two three, four, hold, two, three, four, exhale, two three, four, five, six, seven, eight. After a few cycles, he felt calm enough to take a step back. If his questions were a problem, he had to ask them. Once he decided he would talk to Crowley about it, the wave passed. Talking was the best thing he could do.

It was still early and November was one of those months when Aziraphale ate big breakfasts while waiting for the sun to rise. The weekend was particularly suitable for preparing his favorite breakfast: crêpes. One of the great advantages of getting up early was to be able to take his time to make the perfect breakfast. After putting maple syrup on them, he sat on his kitchen table thinking about his day. 

Having taken time for breakfast, Aziraphale was behind schedule. He had to hurry to finish his lesson, which he almost always wrote by hand. He liked the idea of writing on paper. Writing was one of those activities that he found relaxing. So, he spent the morning at his desk, preparing his lesson, losing track of the hours. It was only around noon that he went to check his phone where a message from Gabriel was waiting for him asking him if they were still meeting for tea. Aziraphale answered him quickly and went to get ready.

\------

The tea house Gabriel had chosen was modern and served cakes, also in a modern fashion. This detail made Aziraphale smile when he thought about the pastries Crowley had brought back to him the first time she came to his house. Definitely he and Gabriel could get along well but they were not meant to be more. Aziraphale preferred the good old-fashioned pastries. 

The two men with angel names entered and settled in before ordering. Not surprisingly, Gabriel didn't order anything to eat. It was at this moment that Aziraphale noticed his friend's look.

"So Gabriel, how are you? You don't look so good, dear.”

"Yes, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Aziraphale, I was thinking about a conversation." He had needed to shake his head to get out of his own thoughts, which was not a good sign.

"Do you want to talk about it?”

"Oh, you know, the problems at the university. I had a meeting with the other sections presidents and the university’s president. The reallocation of budgets will be made and if we do not attract enough students it also affects the budget allocated to us and therefore the research opportunities. Anyway, I'm not explaining how all this works, it's all very political.”

"Yes, I know that. Is that the only thing on your mind?" Gabriel didn't seem to have quite finished.

"No. I also saw my ex. We had lunch not long ago. I'm the one who suggested it. I'm trying to bury the hatchet, but it's difficult. She and I have never been able to speak properly and even now it is still the case. We are adults, we should be able to do it, but every time I try, it doesn't go as I want it to.”

"When people are not determined to forgive, Gabriel, it is difficult to talk. If she doesn't want to talk, maybe you should do something else.” Azirapahle wanted to know who his ex was but it seemed a little rude to ask.

"I tried everything, it didn't work. Anyway, tell me all about you Ezra!”

Aziraphale took the time to drink before he started talking.

"Um, we haven't really talked about it since, but I wanted to let you know that I met someone." Gabriel's smile immediately reassured him.

"I'm very happy for you! "said Gabriel. "Is this serious?”

"To be perfectly honest, I don't know. We haven't talked about it yet, but I hope we will as soon as possible, to be sure. Or maybe it's too early to talk about it, I don't know.”

"Aziraphale, I am someone who has hesitated to be clear about my feelings for a long time, so let me advise you, if you have questions or something on your mind, you should talk about it." Every time Gabriel talked about his relationships, he gave the impression of regretting them. "It's never wrong to ask questions and get answers. It is even very often necessary. You know that. After all, you are a researcher and a teacher.”

"Yes, you're right. I will try to do it as soon as possible." Ezra then wondered if he should tell Gabriel that because of his reputation, his students never really dared to ask him questions and that they came to see him. He chose to save that fact for another conversation. Gabriel already seemed upset enough.

"You're not going to tell me more, are you? Do I even know him? » asked Gabriel.

Aziraphale could not help but blush before answering. "I want to ask him before I really talk about it.”

"So I'm going to assume that I know him. "Gabriel seemed satisfied with Aziraphale's lack of response. "You should still tell your friends that you're taken, you know..."

His tone suggested that he had something to add. When he didn't continue, the blond's curiosity prevailed.

"Why do you say that, Gabriel?" 

"Oh, you're not going to tell me you didn't notice!" Gabriel looked surprised. Aziraphale replied with an interrogative look. "Okay, I think I need to be more direct. Among your acquaintances, I'm sure you have someone who's interested. And I'm not talking about me." Ezra must have kept his interrogating look because he continued. "Goodness Aziraphale, I'm talking about Anthony. If in one night I noticed the way he looks at you, you should have noticed it too.”

Not having seen this revelation coming, Aziraphale almost choked on the piece of cake he was eating. He wasn't sure if he should laugh, deny or just let it pass. Finally, the fourth option was his choice.

"Are you sure, Gabriel?”

"Absolutely. This is only a suggestion, of course.”

"Yes, of course. I'll tell him. Just to be sure." The desire to laugh was present but he did not succumb to it thanks to his own will. "And I'll tell you more when the time comes.”

"No pressure, just curiosity. Otherwise, I was thinking about our license program, could Anathema get involved in the second year...?”

The conversation shifted to work and from time to time to other topics. Aziraphale realized when he said goodbye to Gabriel that, even though they were getting closer, he knew very little about him.

Once back home, Aziraphale checked his phone and saw that Anathema had tried to contact him. She had sent him several messages later in the afternoon.

 **Anathema Device:** So, you go on a date and don't tell me anything? You better tell me everything. You're not going to get away with this.

**Anathema Device:** Why doesn't anyone answer me? I swear, if you or Crowley don't call me back and tell me everything, I'll be in your office on Monday!

Aziraphale hesitated for a moment before thinking that Anathema was still his closest friend and that he could talk to her. And, if she knew about the date, he was right to assume that Crowley told her about it, right? He had avoided saying anything to her knowing the pressure she was quite capable of putting on his shoulders. Before he could dial Anathema's number, his phone rang. 

"Hello dear, how are you?”

 _"Hey angel. Well, thank you. How was your day?"_ Aziraphale heard the apprehension in Crowley's voice and remembered all those times he had heard it. Most of the time, when they were in high school, his best friend was anxious to ask him to do something together like go to the movies or just see each other and do nothing special together. With a little hindsight and everything he knew, like how his best friend was in love with him, Aziraphale felt the guilt rise in him.

"I just got back. I saw Gabriel this afternoon and this morning I finished planning a lesson. And you, my dear?"

 _"Oh nothing special, like you, work, clean up, I also had my parents on the phone. I assume you received Anathema's message?”_

"The one where she threatens to make a scene in two days?"Aziraphale heard a 'mmmh mmmmmh' that answered his question. "Yes, I have it.”

 _"I didn't want to answer her until I had your opinion."_ So Aziraphale wasn't the only one unsure about these kinds of things. _"I mean, I don't think we have much choice with Anathema, do we?”_

"No, we have no choice at all. If you want to talk to her, you can call her. I didn't tell her about our date, so I guess it was through you that she found out."

_"Uh, yes, uh, let's say..."_

The hesitation in Crowley's voice made Aziraphale smile. "I have nothing against you talking to her about it. Far from it.” He hoped his voice was reassuring.

 _"Okay, fine. I'll call her then, or we'll never stop hearing about it."_ The sound of Crowley's light laughter did something in Aziraphale's belly. He loved that sound. " _I also called to know if you wanted to do something tomorrow? No obligations, huh. Just. If you are available. It might be nice. I think …"_ The difference between the attitude of the redhead who always seemed to breathe self-confidence and the reality he could hear and see made the blond feel special.

"With pleasure my dear. What were you thinking?"

" _I don't know exactly. The pastry shop near my house, you know the one I brought you the cakes from, has a brunch on Sunday morning. Would you be interested?”_

Thinking of the disappointment of today's pastry experience, Aziraphale answered without hesitation. "Yes, of course dear. What time tomorrow? Can you send me the address too?”

_"I was thinking about noon if that's okay with you? I know it's no longer brunch but lunch at this time of day but I'll definitely want to sleep in.”_

"It's fine with me, darling." The nickname came out all by itself and he didn't do anything to stop it. "I'll see you tomorrow then.”

_"Yes, angel, um, see you tomorrow. Bye.”_

"Have a nice evening my dear. »

After hanging up, Aziraphale sent a message to Anathema and informed her that Crowley was the one who would call. She didn't answer him until an hour later with a smiley. Aziraphale thought he would have liked to know what they had told each other.

\--------

This time it was Crowley who was waiting for Aziraphale in front of the pastry shop. The blond spotted him quickly. It was difficult not to see the red hair in contrast to his black clothes, the cascade of color that was his hair in addition to his height and his whole being in general made Aziraphale short of breath when he saw him. He felt so plain when Crowley was such a beauty. Maybe that wasn't the right term, but the idea was there. The redhead was perfect by beauty standards. This was not what was important for Aziraphale but it didn't take anything away...

Crowley didn't see him arrive for a while because he was on his phone. He turned at the last moment and jumped when he saw Aziraphale. 

"Hello angel." His voice was not quite stable, which did not escape Aziraphale. The latter took the initiative and, after putting his hand on Crowley's neck, brought their lips together. He felt his cheeks blush as he made that simple gesture.

"Hello darling." Apparently, he wasn't the only one blushing... "Just to be sure, what pronouns should I use today?”

"Hmm he/him, angel." Then, taking Aziraphale's hand, Anthony lead them into the pastry shop.

While the front was reserved to serve customers, the pastry had few tables at the back. The atmosphere was much more friendly than where he had met Gabriel the day before. All ages were present and all the tables were full of happy people talking, except the one they reserved. 

After settling in and ordering, Aziraphale and Crowley easily fell into light conversation. The blond could not help but take his friend's hand. Or his partner’s hand? Ok, they were definitely going to have to talk about that. After reaching the end of a subject and their dish of scrambled eggs, pancakes and lots of delicious little things had arrived, curiosity prevailed and Aziraphale could not help but ask about Anathema.

"While I think about it, dear," as if he hadn't thought about it all night before," how was your call with Anathema?”

"Oh, you know, nothing unusual..." Anthony didn't seem to want to say more, which only increased Aziraphale's curiosity.

"What did she say ?”

Crowley played a little with his fork on his plate paying attention to it. Aziraphale took his free hand and pressed it slightly. This simple gesture turned Anthony's gaze towards him.

"If you must know, she was very happy for us. She made some jokes. Since we are talking about Anathema, unfortunately, I don't know if it wasn't just for fun. She also told me that she was sure we would end up together because our auras are apparently emitting something. Sometimes I wonder if she's not really a witch." Anthony laced their fingers together and this simple gesture sent a shiver through Aziraphale's body.

"Oh, I definitely think she's a witch. Her impressions and feelings are often the right ones.”

"If so, I'm delighted." Anthony seemed to think of something specific when he said that but didn’t share. "What about you and Gabriel?"

"Oh, nothing very important, you know. There has been a lot of talk about work. I appreciate it very much, but it is very difficult to move on to more personal topics with him. And, I hope you don't mind, but I told him I found someone." Approaching this conversation filled Aziraphale with apprehension.

"Why would it bother me, angel?" Anthony took a sip of his coffee while caressing the blond's hand with his thumb.

"I didn't ask you before if I could talk about our relationship with Gabriel who is a friend, but also a colleague, a director, and someone you don't really know. So, I only told him I had someone I didn't say it was you. But he had an interesting reaction …" Aziraphale could not help but smile when he thought about what Gabriel had told him "according to him, I had to tell you about me seeing someone because it was obvious that you had intentions towards me, dear.”

Crowley was sipping his coffee almost chocked on it. "What the fuck!?"

Crowley's reaction mad Aziraphale laughed. He put his hand on Anthony's cheek and gently stroked it.

"It was apparently obvious to him, darling." He didn't hear what the redhead whispered. He stood up slightly and raised Crowley's chin to deposit a chaste kiss on his lips. "You don't need to whisper anything, you know. If I didn't go any further with Gabriel, it's largely because of you.”

Crowley's interest was obviously piqued, and he asked with an almost shy voice. "What?"

Aziraphale smiled at him, "Let's just say that when he approached our relationship to find out if I wanted more, I told him that someone from my past had returned and that my feelings were not in the right place for him.”

"Aaannnggeeelll, were you interested as soon as I came back into your life?" The sound in Crowley's voice was clearly teasing, which increased Aziraphale's smile a little more if it was possible.

"I won't say any more about it." If he said more on the subject, he would probably turn red and he wanted to look good in front of Crowley.

"I didn't know I was just a rebound guy angel." Anthony put his hand on his heart as if he was really hurt with a look that he surely hoped to be sad but which was much closer to the sarcastic.

Two could play this game, thought Aziraphale. "Of course, of course. After this brunch, I’ll tell you that all this is going too fast, I’ll leave and not talk to you again until at least next year!" The reflection made both of them laugh.

It was so easy to be with Anthony. He was going back to something comfortable with the redhead. In high school, they both spent so much time in Crowley's room or doing some activity or other together. Without Crowley, Aziraphale was not sure how he would have evolved. It was his best-friend who had allowed him to open himself up to the world and others. He had introduced him to music, films and Aziraphale hoped he had also passed something on to him.

"Speaking of that," said the blond man, "I wanted to ask you... How can I say this..." The tension in his own voice was palpable and Aziraphale hated it. Crowley put his hand on his again and it sent a shiver down his spine. As he caught Crowley's almost golden eyes, he let go of the exhalation he was holding back. They still knew each other so well. The redhead's smile allowed him to resume. "I was wondering what you expected from this relationship.”

"What do you mean, angel?" The voice of the redhead was so soft. The contact between their hands seemed so normal. Aziraphale was nervous but, at the same time, lost in Anthony’s presence.

"I don't know exactly, but for example, do you want to be exclusive? Do you mind if I tell my friends about it? Do you want us to keep this relationship between us and not tell our colleagues? May I introduce you as my boyfriend? Partner?" He had only planned to ask one question, but once he started asking the first one, all the others came out all at once. Crowley listened patiently. Aziraphale felt his red cheeks and looked away. "Sorry, this must sound ridiculous to you.”

Crowley gently stroked the top of his hand with his thumb before answering. "It's absolutely not ridiculous, Aziraphale." Oh, the use of his first name meant that Crowley was quite serious. "We are no longer 15 years old and I am delighted that you are asking me this. At least, if we have different views, we will know and can move on from there" Anthony brought Aziraphale's hand to his mouth and gave him a light kiss that made the blond smile. "To answer everything: yes, I want to be exclusive, no it doesn't bother me that we talk about it to our relatives, I would like it to stay between us for the moment towards our colleagues who are not friends, and you can introduce me as your boyfriend or girlfriend, your partner or only your friend, I don't have a preference as long as it is clear between us that we are something.”

The emotion in Crowley's eyes was present and if Aziraphale let himself read it, he was almost sure to discover what both of them were aiming for. He brought his free hand to Anthony's cheek and gently stroked his skin. The latter turned his head to kiss the inside of Aziraphale's hand.

"Angel, I'm glad to be able to be with you if that's what you want too. I know it's only been …” He looked at his watch for more staging "a day and a half since we had our first kiss but everything is so... easy between us. And I've never felt that way with anyone.”

"That's what I want too, darling." Aziraphale totally forgot the world around them. All his thoughts, his gaze, were fixed on the person in front of him.

"Perfect! "Anthony took the hand that was on his cheek, kissed it and put both hands back on the table. "And anyway, everyone I wanted to tell about us is aware of it. My parents are going to invite us to lunch soon, knowing them.”

"Oh Anthony, I don't know. It's a little early to meet your parents. "Aziraphale's modest fake air made them laugh.

They continued their brunch and conversation always with some form of contact between them, whether it was their hands on the table or their legs or their eyes. Once the brunch was over, Crowley invited Aziraphale to go to the movies. Objectively, the blond had to go home and finish correcting a bunch of papers. He decided to postpone them until the evening. After all, being able to fulfill one of his teenage fantasies of holding Crowley's hand throughout the movie and kissing him from time to time seemed much more interesting. And that was exactly what he did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for the delay between chapters but life happened ! 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I didn't let you down :D I had a lot of doubts about this chapter cause it's basically plotless but hey, if you are here, you know I just write a story with sweet nothings and fluff ! 
> 
> Next chapters will have TW (transphobia / enbyphobia and homophobia). I'll keep it light but if you want to read this chapters without the explicit, please tell me so I can prepare it ! 
> 
> Kudos and comments make my day brighter <3 If you want to see something in this story, please feel free to ask :D


	16. Soirée à l'université

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The university has a christmas party. Not a great evening for Raphaëlle but Dieu is here. 
> 
> TW Homophobia - Transphobia - Enbyphobia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my amazing proofreader [@Lovethistoomuch](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lovethistoomuch/pseuds/Lovethistoomuch) who makes this story better <3
> 
> This work became a serie. If you want to know more about it, please read the notes at the end.

Crowley was on a fucking cloud and he had no intention of coming down.

December was starting to bring its share of stress with the final exams, but for him, everything was fucking perfect. The last surprise test he gave his fourth-year students was passed by the whole class. His third-year students had almost all succeeded. He had been so proud of them that he had brought candies and pastries for everyone so that they could all eat something during the correction process. He had also cheered up the few students who had not succeed in the test. After all, it wasn't the end of the world. A failed evaluation was in no way a sign of failure. He was so proud of his students that marked his first semester as a professor.

In addition to the encouraging results of his students, Crowley's teaching life was almost perfect. He was beginning to be acquainted with other science teachers, which was not always easy. Indeed, he was considered almost a traitor to some since he had been seen with Aziraphale, Anathema and Gabriel when all four of them had been to the restaurant near the university. He was not sure who had seen him, probably too busy smiling stupidly at the blond guy who had sat in front of him. However, he was almost certain that he had been seen a lot of times with the literature professors. Everything had started to get better when he brought some pastries at the last meeting, after asking Aziraphale what he was supposed to do to improve the relationship with his colleagues. (Of course, his answer would be food …) Only Professor La Vista was still really looking at him as if he had killed someone he loved. The rest of the teachers were cordial, which was enough for him. He didn't need to be friends with his colleagues to be able to work with them after all but it would be nice.

After the department's meeting at the end of November, the department director had invited him to her office. Professor Thebub was a strict woman who ran her department with an iron fist. She was known for knowing what she wanted and being straightforward. Crowley had decided to see her invitation as such even if it was more of an order. If she had something to say to him, he knew he couldn't escape it. He was only hoping it wasn't about his students.

"Please, Professor, you can sit down." Crowley sat in front of her. "As the semester is almost finished, I wanted to know how you felt about your role. Did your classes go well? Do you have any problems you would like to share with me?”

"Thank you, Professor Thebub. Everything went very well this semester for me. My students were all very motivated and I am sure that their results will be commensurate with their work.”

"I have no doubt about that." Crowley had spent little time with her, but he couldn't help but notice how threatening her face was at that moment. He had no desire to see her upset. "Do you feel part of the team?"

Not so much, if he was honest. It was partly his fault that he was closer to the professors in the literature department but also because he did not like the atmosphere in the experimental science teachers' room. "Yes, very well. I have nothing to complain about.” He didn’t want to speak his mind right now, his post as a professor was at stake.

"Are you sure, Professor Crowley?" Her insistence made him uncomfortable. He didn't need nor like to be supervised like an elementary school student who wouldn't make friends. Unless she was talking about something else Anthony didn't know about. It was possible, since rumors spread very fast. 

"I am certain. The other professors were very welcoming and my integration into the laboratory team was smooth.”

She looked at him intensely and he wondered if she was trying to get him to confess something. He would not have been surprised to learn that La Vista had said something about him to her.

"All right, if you're sure. If you need anything, feel free to come and see me. As head of the department, I will be there to listen to you and help you as best I can.”

Objectively, Crowley knew she wanted to tell him something. Perhaps it was because of the feedback she had from his students, from other professors. She might have heard about Aziraphale or, it was a possibility not to be dismissed, about his gender expression. He was almost certain he had seen someone from the university last week-end when he was heading to his date while wearing a dress. He wanted to ask her but he didn't want to explain himself on any of these subjects.

"Thank you, Professor. I will not hesitate to do so.”

Thinking of Aziraphale, Crowley wanted to join him earlier than expected but he didn't know if he was available. He could have sent him a message, but at worst, if his office was closed, he would turn around. Maybe he would meet Anathema or Gabriel on the way and could find an excuse not to have to prepare the tests for the final exams. He had had the opportunity to talk with both of them more and more. The latter were the only ones at the university, he hoped, to know about Aziraphale and himself. Although thee four of them had only had dinner once since then, during November it had often happened that they took their lunch break together.

The door to Aziraphale's office was ajar, which probably meant that the man was inside. Crowley checked that he did not hear any voices coming from his desk and knocked. When he heard an answer that sounded more like a growl than a real invitation, he opened the door. A certain blond must have been tired. As soon as Aziraphale saw his eyes, he smiled.

"Hello, darling. I didn't expect to see you so soon. Or did I forgot something ?”

Crowley closed the door behind him and went straight to Aziraphale to prevent him from getting up. He understood the situation he was in, with all the books and papers spread on his desk all too well.

"Angel, you don't have to get up." He gave him a quick kiss on his cheek before going to sit on the chair at the other side of the desk. "You haven't forgotten anything at all. It's just that I had a quick meeting with the head of my department and I wanted to see you afterwards.”

"Oh, I'm reassured, dear. How was your meeting? Do you want something to drink? Tea?”

"Yes, please. Oh, you know, nothing special. She just asked me how I felt and if I had integrated well. I had the feeling that she wanted me to say something. I think someone talk to her about me.”

Aziraphale served both cups on the small coffee table rather than on his desk and sat on the sofa. Crowley decided to join him. He took his cup with one hand and put his other hand on Aziraphale's thigh. This simple contact made him have butterflies in his stomach. He was ridiculous and handled it pretty well when he thought about it. 

"Do you think it has something to do with... Well, us?” 

"No, I don't think so." Crowley smiled gently. "Besides, I don't see what there is to say about us.”

Aziraphale laughed and this sound had become an addiction for Anthony. "No, of course, there's absolutely nothing to say." The blond put his mug on the table, passed his hand through Crowley's red hair and kissed his lips softly. They liked to tease each other.

"No, absolutely nothing..." was all Crowley could answer. Every kiss with Aziraphale was completely explosive. After a month together, they hadn't gone any further and it seemed to suit them, but he couldn't help but think that if Aziraphale's lips alone made him feel this way, the rest would surely be breathtaking.

Someone knocked on the door and both returned to the real world: Aziraphale's office at the university, where they both worked. A place that was not made to fantasize about the effect that Aziraphale's manicured fingers could have on his skin. Anathema entered without even waiting for an answer, as usual. She met Crowley's eyes, before he had even had a chance to say anything.

"Before you say something, I already told you to lock this door if you don't want to be interrupted." Anathema seemed very proud of herself, which made the other two smile.

"Hello Anathema, to what do we owe the honor of seeing you in my office?" asked Aziraphale.

"Haven't you seen the email from the university president yet?" Crowley nodded his head. "Here." She handed him her open phone on an email. "We are cordially invited, all professors from all departments for a ‘soirée’!”

_From: president.dieu@u-uni.fr_

_To: professors.mailinglist@u-uni.fr_

_Dear colleagues,_

_The first semester will end soon and give way to a well-deserved vacation for all members of this university. This year, the Presidency will organize an evening in the main meeting room (room 404, building 2) in order to meet and discuss together on 20 December._

_Please confirm your attendance before December 13 by following this link: Doodle December 20_

_I look forward to seeing you all again, colleagues, and I would like to express my best wishes._

_Professor Dieu_

_President of the University_

After examining the message, Crowley checked that Aziraphale had read it and returned the phone to Anathema. The latter sat down in the chair in front of them.

"So?" she asked.

"So what? That's a good thing, isn't it?" replied Crowley. He didn't really understand where the surprise was in that email.

"Crowley, this is the first year that a party like this to be organized. In previous years, the initiative was left to the heads of departments. Isn't that right, Aziraphale?”

"Yes, and I guess if the president decides to have a common evening it's because she has reasons." Aziraphale was, after all, the one who had been in the institution as a professor the longest. He seemed as surprised as Anathema.

“Maybe she wants to know if we behave when we are all together.” Crowley stated. Anathema laughed and then resumed. 

"Are you thinking of going? No offense to Crowley, but the professors in the other departments are not the ones I would like to spend an evening with.”

"I know that I am an intruder in the literature department and that you only accept me out of pity." He winked at Anathema.

"I think we'll have to go." Anathema and Anthony's attention turned to Aziraphale. "I imagine that the Presidency wants to strengthen the links between the different departments. It would be frowned upon not to go.”

"Angel, we have no obligation to contribute to political manipulation by the presidency." Anathema smiled slightly when she heard her friend call Aziraphale 'angel'.

“Aziraphale is right." interrupted Anathema. "We are forced a little to play the game even if we are not interested in the politics within the university any more than that. Moreover, I imagine that Gabriel will be forced to go there and if the three of us tell him that we are not going to go, I am not sure that he will forgive us.” 

She was right, Crowley thought. All three were closest to Gabriel even though he had links with all the professors in the department because of his position.

"So you're asking us if we're going and then you tell us we don't have a choice, we have to go, right?" Crowley admired Anathema for that. She always knew what she was doing something for.

"Exactly!”

Aziraphale sighed, "At least we can go together.”

\-------------

They had decided to meet at Crowley's apartment to take his car together. For a few days now, she had been introducing herself as a woman even though she was not doing it at the university and she was wondering more and more if this evening could be an opportunity to do so. Raphaëlle had talked about it with Aziraphale, who assured her that whatever her decision was, he would support it. However, it could work against her and she knew it well. Her first year was a trial year and even if, objectively, the law protected her from discrimination, she knew well that an administration could find another excuse. She had no desire to jeopardize her career at this university. She not only had her partner but, from now on, also friends (it was perhaps still a little early to call Gabriel a friend but Anathema had very quickly become her friend. The bonds of alcohol and hangover worked miracles.) And, of course, her students.

So, Crowley had decided not to go too far for this evening. Test the waters. She had decided to wear her black high waist pants with a black shirt and a red jacket. The outfit was very ‘feminine’ in itself and she had, therefore, put away the stiletto heels for her usual boots. Her make-up was very natural, and her hair had been styled into a bun. She had finished preparing and was waiting for Anathema and Aziraphale on her couch.

She had long since started playing with how people perceived her. In high school, she liked the confusion she could see on people's faces. During her university years, she had explored the issue of her gender. She had wondered for a long time if she was (__) abnormal for not wanting to make a transition, for liking to stay in this state not on one side or the other or neither. She had not felt the need to conform to the binarity of this world. However, she was increasingly interested in presenting herself with female pronouns for a significant amount on time and wondered if this would be a problem for Aziraphale.

She knew that she really shouldn't worry about it. He had known her for a long time, even with the lack of so many years. He had accepted it directly but she could not help and wonder, if she was presenting herself like this for several weeks, even months and not just a few days, as he had seen it for the time being, that he would not be discouraged. Maybe they should talk about it. Argh, why was there a need to talk about so many things in a relationship?

Aziraphale arrived first. A little early, regarding the time they had all three agreed on, which Raphaëlle did not miss.

"Good evening, Aziraphale." After closing the door, she took his coat and hung it on the coat rack. It was the second time he had come to her apartment, the first time he came was a week ago and they had spent most of their time kissing and drinking on the couch. The memory made Crowley blush. After hanging the coat, she quickly kissed him on the lips. "A little early. Did you want to have me all to yourself?" She had already turned to make them tea while waiting for Anathema when she felt her jacket pulled. When she turned around, Aziraphale put his arm around her waist, his other hand on the back of her neck and kissed her much more sensually than she had just done.

"My dear girl," Crowley had been telling Aziraphale for several days what pronouns she wanted him to use until she told him otherwise, "yes exactly. I’ll have to share you all evening and I wanted to have some time alone.”

If Raphaëlle was blushing, she felt less alone when she saw the pink on her partner's round cheeks. She put her hand on his face and got lost in Aziraphale's blue eyes.

"I'm glad you did." She stroked his cheek and then kissed it. "Tea? I found the brand you told me about last time when I went shopping." During a conversation over tea/coffee in Aziraphale's office, he had stated his favorite brands and blends and she noted everything in a corner of her mind in order to have some at home and ideas for Christmas gifts. They hadn't talked about Christmas together yet. It was another delicate subject to discuss soon since her mother had slipped her, totally casually, into a conversation that she and her father would be delighted to have them both for Christmas knowing full well that they had only started dated a little over a month earlier.

Anathema arrived a little late, which allowed them to finish their tea and the three of them went to the reception. While Aziraphale had criticized her conduct while driving all along the way, Anathema loved the fact that she went fast. When Crowley parked, she wondered if she might not be better off putting on the ‘male’ suit she had put in her trunk in case she changed her mind. Anathema got out of the car directly but Aziraphale must have understood that something was wrong because he took her hand and squeezed it gently.

"You look beautiful tonight, darling. However, if you don't feel like going there wearing this, no one will judge you and you shouldn't blame yourself.”

She turned her eyes to him and felt better as soon as she saw his smile. However, she decided to take her sunglasses and hide her eyes. She always felt more comfortable like that.

"It's okay, we can go.”

Anathema had not waited for them and when they arrived to the meeting room, she was already with Gabriel who was talking to her and another teacher whose name Crowley had not remembered. Aziraphale had let go of his hand as soon as they got out of the car and he was already missing that simple gesture of holding it. However, she didn't really want to show their relationship right now and neither did Aziraphale. Kissing behind the closed door of their respective offices was something dangerous and fascinating that both of them felt without having to tell each other. Gabriel, seeing them, waved at them to say hello and then pointed to his empty flute and the bar.

Aziraphale took a glass of champagne for himself and another for Gabriel while Rahaëlle, who was the one driving, took a simple apple juice presented in a flute. _So fancy, she thought ironically._ They then headed towards Gabriel.

"Good evening, Gabriel! "exclaimed Aziraphale, handing him the new glass.

"Good evening, Aziraphale, Crowley. Good to see you both. I thought you decided not to come after all !"Gabriel really seemed relieved to see them.

"Of course, we were going to come, Gab'. Solidarity and all that … We didn't have to come as early as you did, that's all, and you can't blame us for that!” Crowley liked to tease him. Gabriel was much less austere than she had initially thought.

"Yes, I confess everything." He turned to Anathema. "Anathema, I had something to ask you if you had two minutes to come and sit with me.”

"Of course! "Anathema replied. "I'll join you as soon as we're done." she told Aziraphale and Raphaëlle. "If you forget me when you leave, I'll kill you both.”

She and Gabriel went to sit around the main table while Aziraphale and Raphaëlle's colleagues came to meet them. Professor Thebub came to talk to them in particular. She was very pleasant and much less impressive outside her office. She even complimented Crowley's jacket by telling her that the color brought out her hair.

If Raphaëlle had to be honest, this evening was not really interesting. They could have gone to see a good Christmas movie, but they were stuck with work! The President's speech was quite flat just like any good speech.

Crowley had been able to talk with colleagues she liked, but the tension was palpable between some of them. She had seen the look of Professor La Vista on her and really didn't like what she had seen. She decided to ignore it, but very quickly she felt suffocated. She went to see Aziraphale to tell him that she was going outside for a few moments. He told her to take her coat so she wouldn't get too cold. As she was about to leave the room, the President came to see her.

"Ah Professor Crowley, I wanted to talk to you. Were you going somewhere?” 

"Good evening, Madam President. Just outside for some fresh air, but I can stay here while we talk." Since she arrived at the university, Crowley had only met her very rarely and was always surprised to see that her reputation was, in fact, accurate to the truth. She knew all the staff at the university and all the rumors.

"No, no, I'm going out too and we can talk if you don't mind.”

"Of course, of course. With pleasure." It may have been a little exaggerated, but it was always good to be on good terms with the presidency. She had retained this from her years in thesis.

"Thank you." They both began to move towards the elevator. "How was your first semester with us?”

"Very well, thank you." The elevator came and they rushed into it. "I am very happy with my classes. The students were very motivated." She was careful to remain as neutral as possible when talking about herself. She had no desire to let anything appear to the president.

"I am very happy to hear it. Sometimes I regret that I no longer have time to teach with my position as President, but my term will end in two years and I will be able to resume teaching.”

"Your position does not allow you to take on teaching responsibilities at all?" They arrived at the ground floor and headed for the nearest adjacent door. They could hear some voices outside. 

"Unfortunately not. It's only temporary and..." She stopped speaking as Raphaëlle heard her name spoken by one of the voices. She couldn't help but listen to the conversation when the President didn't continue.

 _"... Crowley. You saw the clothes he's wearing. He looks like a transvestite. These are women's clothes."_ said the first voice.

 _"Are you sure?"_ asked the second.

_"Certain. And I wouldn't even be surprised if he was gay, too. Did you see the way Professor Fell looked at him? So many faggots at this university”_

_"No, but it often goes together, all these deviations.”_

Crowley didn't have time to do anything, the President was slamming her heels on the floor to join the two people. Raphaëlle stayed in the corridor. She had heard these thoughts so many times and, even if she was much better at not taking it too badly it was still as difficult to hear them.

"Professor La Vista, Professor Ligur." President Dieu's voice cut her off in her thoughts. "Your words are intolerable in this institution. I will not let anything of this kind go by, whether it comes from our students or, worse, from colleagues. You will receive a reprimand by email from me when we return from the holidays and have no doubt that you will be sanctioned for this.”

Raphaëlle sat on the closest bench she found in the corridor. She did not even listen to what could have been protests from the two teachers. The President's reaction had been direct and unequivocal and she liked her for it.

She didn't realize that the president had returned until she touched her shoulder.

"Professor, I apologize for what you heard. These are not the values of our institution at all. You will receive an official apology from the professors involved and know that they will be sanctioned accordingly.”

Crowley sighed and took the time to calm down before answering. "Thank you, Madam President.”

"It's only natural, Professor." She gently pressed Raphaëlle's shoulder before removing her hand. Crowley stood up, "Would you like me to tell someone to join you?” 

"Could you tell Professor Fell to meet me outside his office?" Crowley had the key to his office, actually. She would go straight to the couch and wait for him.

"It will be done. My sincere apologies again. That is a deplorable attitude and I will do everything I can to ensure that it has consequences.”

She went access the elevator and Raphaëlle went to Aziraphale's office. She would feel much better once she was in a familiar place. As soon as she sat down on the couch, she took off her glasses and closed her eyes.

Aziraphale arrived about ten minutes later. When she saw her eyes, she realized that the President must have spoken to him and told him what happened because he rushed towards her and embraced her tenderly.

"I'm here my darling. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.”

Raphaëlle put her arms around her partner's waist. The warmth of Aziraphale reassured her. She exhaled a breath she didn’t know she was holding.

"It's not your fault, Aziraphale." She put her face in the hollow of his neck and breathed, taking the time to feel all the notes of the perfume she was smelling.

"No, I know. But you shouldn't have to hear that! Never!” The blond man's voice had something broken and she hated it.

"Thank you, angel. I am used to it you know. But it’s hard every time." That's when she thought again about what she had had on her mind earlier in the evening. She raised her head so she could look him in the eye. "It doesn’t bother you, then?"

"What doesn’t bother me? "Aziraphale had put his hand at the base of her neck and caressed gently while he put the second one on his thigh.

"That I may be like this. If my pronouns and clothes are feminine, for several months.”

"Of course not.” He kissed her to give more weight to his point. “I hope you don't doubt my sincerity when I tell you that no matter what your pronouns are, how you present or identify yourself and how you dress, I just want you to feel good and happy. If you remember correctly, I was the one who asked you for your pronouns in high school.”

That was true. When she hadn't really asked herself that question and they didn't know each other, he did.

"I believe you when you say that, angel." 

"I hope so!" The warmth of that smile did something strange to Crowley's stomach. She already felt better. "Do you want to go home? I told Anathema that it was possible that we could leave without her. Gabriel will walk her home.”

She didn't really want to move when she had Aziraphale so close to her, but Raphaëlle knew she needed to be home. She would feel like herself again in this place where she felt safe. However, she did not want to part with Aziraphale.

"Darling, if you want, I can stay with you tonight." proposed the blond man. "I know you're not very well and if you're interested, we could sleep together. In the literal sense I mean.” He was still caressing her neck and she felt a shiver. 

"Sleep, huh? No kissing, no cuddle?" Raphaëlle teased him, which made Aziraphale laugh. It was her way to say she was fine.

"We'll see if you deserve it, foul fiend!" he said, holding her hand. They stood up and left Aziraphale’s office to go to the car. He didn't let go of her hand when they met a colleague in the hallway and Crowley thanked him silently for that. They walked towards the car and once they were seated, Aziraphale laid his hand on her thigh. He was there for her and it warmed her heart. If she hadn't had to listen to that filthy talk, sleeping together could have been a wonderful closing to the evening.

She quickly thought about her mother's proposal, but tonight was not the evening to discuss it. Knowing that she was leaving on Monday, she didn't have much time to discuss the subject but she didn’t want Aziraphale to feel any obligation. So they went home and she almost drove at speed limits.

After they got home and changed, they both fell into bed. Raphaëlle fell asleep, surrounded by the warmth of Aziraphale and all her thoughts were about how it felt right to be together like this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello :D 
> 
> Sorry for the delay between chapters but my proof reader and I had a lot to do the past month. Hope you liked this chapter. I planed to do a second one with TW BUT it will wait. I promise only fluffy thing for the next one. You know me, I live for the fluff.
> 
> So, this story is a serie now. I have a lot in my mind, short stories about Gabriel, Anathema and our ineffable duo in high school. It will be mostly one shots. The first one shot will be an alternative ending to the prom (yes the good one I wanted to write) and will be posted next friday. So, if you are interested you should subscribe to the serie.
> 
> Thanks for being here with me for this story <3


	17. Christmas with the Crowleys (I)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pillow talk and reunion with the Crowleys for Aziraphale. 
> 
> TW : only brief mention of what happened in the previous chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my amazing proofreader [@Lovethistoomuch](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lovethistoomuch/pseuds/Lovethistoomuch) who inspires me so much for this story and gives me so many idead <3

The sun shone directly into Aziraphale's eyes and gently brought him back to a state of consciousness. He had no idea of the time and he had no desire to wake up completely. His forehead was in contact with Raphaëlle's skin. The smell of his girlfriend surrounded him completely. The warmth of their bodies pressed against each other under the blanket gave him the impression of being in a cocoon. It had been some time since he had woken up with someone, feeling so well.

Still half asleep, Aziraphale began to kiss the skin closest to his lips without opening his eyes. The day before, Raphaëlle and he had decided to go to bed in boxers and t-shirts. He had taken her in his arms and stroked her fire-coloured hair until she had fallen asleep. She had told him she was fine, but he knew that she needed him to be with her. So he stayed.

Aziraphale had never considered himself a violent man, but when the President of the university had come to see him and tell him what had happened and that he could find Crowley in his office, he felt so much anger. The desire to gut the teachers in question had been strong. If he had not succumbed to it, it was because he knew he was expected by his partner and that he had to be there for her. Being there was the only important thing, the rest could wait until they returner from the holiday break.

Chasing away such thoughts was made easier by the fact that, under his lips, he could taste Crowley's skin. Now awake but still reluctant to open his eyes, Aziraphale's lips traveled up from the arm where he had started to her neck. Hearing growling, he stopped just below the jaw and brought his hand over Raphaëlle's cheek, which he gently began to caress. The possibility of staying like this all day was more and more tempting if it weren't for the fact that he felt an emptiness in his stomach.

After a few minutes, a hand began to caress Aziraphale's forearm and he felt lips pressed against his forehead. He started to kiss Raphaëlle's neck again while snuggling up against her.

"Good morning my darling" He had brought his lips closer to Crowley's ear to whisper this sentence to her. He felt the thrill that ran through him. "Is this alright?" His senses were saturated by her, her smell, her taste. The desire to be close was overwhelming, to show her that she was perfect like that, that she was perfect all the time. 

He felt someone pushing him and found himself on his back after being on his side. The change of position made him open his eyes. Raphaëlle looked at him with the intensity she had only when they were both close. Aziraphale realized that, as teenagers, he had seen this expression in the eyes of his best friend. He understood why but obviously it was too early to tell, they had time.

She smiled at him before simply saying, "Hey angel."

Seeing someone in the morning was something the blond had always considered intimate. In his opinion, it was when people woke up that they were closest to themselves. He felt privileged when she bent over to kiss him, letting her hair caress his face. Kissing her was different, the taste was not quite the same as usual and was all the more intimate. When they stopped kissing, Crowley looked into Aziraphale's eyes as if she were looking for an answer.

She must had found it because she let one of her hands down and explored the blond’s skin. Aziraphale felt her hand pass first on his neck, then his shoulder and arm before going up and feeling her descend against his side. His eyes were still looking at Raphaëlle's. He turned around a little so that he too could explore, letting his hand caress her skin before kissing her again. This kiss was more passionate and by the time they separated, Crowley was completely on Aziraphale, their breathing erratic and their hands exploring each other's bodies over their pyjamas. When they looked at each other again, they began to laugh.

"I have a confession to make." Crowley began. She had absolutely not moved and Aziraphale didn’t want her to. He was happy to feel her pressed against him. "I really feel like a teenager with a crush who doesn't know what to do." She put her head in the blond guy's neck, probably to hide her own face a little.

"If it makes you feel any better, so do I. Everything feels so new when you and I have had our share of stories and adventures.” He had thought _'love story'_ but hadn't said so. Too early. "That's fine with me, my dear but If I had been told that at almost forty years of age I would behave like a teenager, I would not have believed it. »

"Did you think about what your life would be like at 40 when you were 20?" Raphaëlle had begun to caress his forearm. Their desire was still palpable but her expression had become softer. 

"Sometimes yes. When I was with my first boyfriend at university, I thought he was the one, the only one, that I could never love anyone else as much, or more than I did him. You know how first love is. I was thinking we'd be married at 40, probably with kids.” Aziraphale realized that this was their first real conversation on the pillow, which made him smile.

“Sometimes, I’m jealous about him. Not really about him, him, you know. Just that someone was your first boyfriend.” _And I wasn’t your first_. She didn’t say it but Aziraphale heard it anyway.

“You shouldn’t be. Your feelings are valid obviously but I’m here, with _you_ , in _your_ bed, right now.” He squeezed her against him and kissed her to feel her closer. They had a past and so much things they hadn’t talk about but it was okay, cause they wanted it both. When he felt her relax against him he asked. “What about you? Your life at 40?”

"I wasn't really thinking about it. I was young. And now, we're old, angel. We were teenagers when we met and now we are soooo olllldddd." The reflection made them laugh.

"Being old has its advantages if you think about it. Can you imagine if your mother had found us like this one day?”

Raphaëlle gently pulled herself out of his neck to look him in the eye. "If my mother had found us like this, she would probably have applauded!" She seemed to think of something that made her blush. "By the way, angel, I don't know if this is the right time to talk about my mother and what I'm going to ask you when I'm literally lying on top of you but uh... I wanted to talk to you about it yesterday and with everything that's happened."Aziraphale stroked her cheek and saw her relax. "Yes, uh, my family invited you to come and spend Christmas with us. I'm leaving Monday like I told you and if you want to come … You don't have to, obviously! I know it's weird to ask this when we've only been dating for a month after all, but my parents want to see you again and..." He interrupted her by kissing her because he knew that if he didn't do anything, she would never stop talking. 

"With pleasure, darling. I would love to spend Christas with you and your family, with pleasure!” He was so happy that she had offered him this. He had become accustomed to spending Christmas reading stories. He had tried a to visit his family without his parents the first years of his independence, but he hadn't gotten anything out of it. He had also spent several Christmases with his boyfriends' families. Since he was single, he had decided to do what he liked and often, it was reading or seeing his friends once they were no longer harassed by their families.

"Are you really sure? I don't want you to force yourself. They will understand completely if we wait a little longer.”

"Raphaëlle, if I tell you I agree, it's because I really want to come. I know that there are standard rules on many things for a new couple but we have no obligation to follow them. We are adults, we can do things at our own pace.”

"You know we'll spend several days with my parents, right? This is serious! "Crowley's tone was ironic, but Aziraphale heard the underlying question.

"I'm serious about us." He changed their position by rolling, so that now, he was lying on top of her, really looking at her and taking in her features. Her hair was spread out on the cushion underneath her. "It almost frightens me to see how much I want to be with you in such a short time." It was true. He was frightened but it was so thrilling, feeling so much. They kissed for a while and then Aziraphale had a revelation. "We have to go shopping! I don't have any presents for your parents!”

"Angel, you can get a gift card online. It's the weekend before Christmas, there will be people everywhere. And, if you don't go out, you could stay, say, in my bed, with me, all day." To punctuate her affirmations, she put her hand behind his head to reconnect their lips.

"You're a real temptress... But I really want to go find something for your parents and I'm starving. Can I tempt you to go to the bakery near your place, eat something on the spot and then go together to find gifts for your parents?” 

Raphaëlle sighed. "All right, you win. Let's go!" 

"Oh, my dear. I didn't say we should leave now…”

And if they spent a few more minutes (or an hour) kissing while letting their hands wander, no one would blame them.

\----

Crowley had picked up Aziraphale on Monday in the late morning. He had spent his time waiting by wrapping the last presents he had not finished. When he had done all he had to do, he had immersed himself in a book to forget his stress. Seeing Raphaëlle's parents again after all these years stressed him a lot but all his fears went away by the time he opened the door and she hugged him, kissing him all over his face and then, more fiercely on his lips. Two days ago, they had gone no further than caressing each other with their clothes on and Aziraphale wondered what would happen when they were going to share the same bed for several days. He left equipped, just in case, lubricant and especially condoms. Better safe than sorry.

The trip had been shorter than he thought. He and Raphaëlle had put their old agreement back in place to share their time between their respective musical tastes. Each trip, they would switch the music. They had listened to Queen, singing along very badly for most of the songs. Aziraphale had taken Bohemian Rhapsody's lyrics out to sing them with her. They arrived at the Crowley house in the early afternoon.

As soon as they got out of the car, Catherine appeared next to them. It had been so long since he had seen her! Crowley's mother had been that adult he looked at when he couldn't look at his own parents. She came to him and put her arms around him. She smelled of the same perfume, chanel no. 5. It suited her so well. She stayed like this for a few seconds to squeeze him before moving away. She hadn't changed, she was only a little older. Her red hair framed her round face with her thin lips and green eyes. Her smile was identical to Raphaëlle's. 

"Aziraphale! I'm so happy to see you again! Oh, and you really wear a bow tie all the time. I should have stopped you when you were a teenager!” 

"MUM! "Raphaëlle came to stand beside him. "Don’t start harassing him when we just got here. We're not even in the home yet!”

"Oh, you, don't start. I told you the day you brought someone home, I'd be like that. I warned you! You can’t say I didn’t!”

"Mmmmmuuummmmm!" Crowley had pink cheeks and looked shocked. Aziraphale, watching the scene unfold before his eyes, wondered what he had missed.

"Oops, sorry! "Catherine replied with a smile that showed very well that she was absolutely not sorry. "I'll make us a hot drink while you go put your things in the room. Aziraphale, tea or coffee?"

"Tea, please.”

"Okay! Raphaëlle, coffee?" The latter grumbled as an answer. "Your father hasn't come home yet, he had to work.”

Once Catherine turned to make the drinks, Crowley and Aziraphale picked up their bags and went up to the room. They arrived in Raphaëlle's old bedroom, which had certainly changed since high school but remained essentially the same. The furniture wasn't different, except for the bed, which was now a real double bed rather than a large single one, the desk had remained and the drawings on the wall. However, the room was cleaner and less of a teenager's room. Aziraphale did not realize that he had stopped moving completely to look at the room before he felt his partner at his side. 

"It's strange, isn't it?”

"What's strange, my dear?"

"Being together in this room after so many years.”

"Yes, it's strange." He turned to her and kissed her. "I am very happy to be here." He thought back to the conversation between Catherine and Raphaëlle. "Tell me, what did your mother say to make you react like that?”

"Absolutely nothing!" It wasn't nothing considering how much she was blushing. 

"Please darling, tell me." he asked her as he stroked her cheek. She was a little bit weaker when he did that, he had noticed. He was a little bit of a bastard sometime.

"You're cheating, you are manipulating me! "She brought her cheek closer to the blond man's hand and let a sigh escape. "Okay, you won. I never brought back anyone I was with to my parents..." Aziraphale gave himself time to process this information in relation to their discussion. _Oh!_ "Anyway, you want your tea?" It was her way to say to drop the subject. She could be shy sometimes. If she didn't want to talk about it anymore, he wasn't going to force her. 

They went down to see Catherine. Aziraphale saw that the living room had not changed much either. Some of the photos on the walls were more recent. Some of the furniture had been changed. However, like Crowley's bedroom, the room looked the same as it did when Aziraphale used to come by every weekend. He was delighted to see it. They joined Catherine and once they were seated around the kitchen table, they began to talk.

"The road was okay?" Catherine asked. Aziraphale saw that she was staring at him, which made him smile as a defense mechanism. He was hoping that she wasn't afraid for Raphaëlle because of their common past. Raphaëlle’s mother was very protective.

"Yep. I convinced Aziraphale to let me put on the music or I'm sure I would have gotten the Christmas songs.”

"Oh, but you're not getting away with it, dear!" Raphaëlle stared at him with a dark look or rather tried. It was not at all what Aziraphale saw in her eyes. "How are you, Catherine? Raphaëlle told me that retirement treated you well.”

"I have absolutely no time to be bored. I have things to do every day between my sport, drawing and music classes!”

"My mother is a very active retiree, in short." remarked Crowley with a big smile. She was still as close to her mother as ever, Aziraphale recalled.

"It's your turn to work after all! And don’t try to make me feel old, you ungrateful child.” She said it with love in her voice. “Oh, Raphaëlle, I have errands to run in town for tomorrow's dinner. Would you like to come with me?”

"Of course, Mom. Angel, not too tired?"

"No, we will be happy to accompany you Catherine.”

The three continued to discuss, especially the work of Raphaëlle and Aziraphale, while finishing their drinks. Then, they went to the main street of the city, where Crowley's mother had things to pick up. They accompanied her, the two of them holding hands.

Coming back to this city brought back so many memories. The cinema where they both went to have themselves locked in, the bakery that had his favorite cake. Everything reminded him of a moment he had shared with the person whose hand he was holding. The weather was grey and cold but he felt a warmth spread within him to see all these buildings in a different light. After a while, Raphaëlle leaned towards him.

"Aziraphale, are you all right?"

"It's all right. Just, a lot of memories.”

"I know, me too.”

Catherine went to the shops she needed to visit. They all ended up with bags full of stuff. Aziraphale stopped by the florist to buy a bouquet to thank her for welcoming him during this family celebration. When he exited the shop, he had the impression of seeing a couple resembling his parents. He was distracted by Raphaëlle and his mother arriving at his side and when he turned his eyes to check if it was them, they were no longer there. _Good_ , because he didn't want to see them again, especially not now. He gave the flowers to Catherine. She loved the bouquet and when they came home, she put it right in the middle of the table.

Aziraphale prepared dinner with Raphaëlle, who cooked much better than him. They sipped a white wine while peeling the vegetables and laughed as they remembered how they never wanted to cook when they were teenagers. The only thing they agreed to do was to make cakes and often they would eat the dough.

Daniel joined them as they were in the kitchen and started by kissing Raphaëlle before also greeting Aziraphale with a hug. All the Crowleys were huggers, apparently. He didn’t remember that. 

"You didn't even wait for me to open the wine, I'm offended!" Daniel said. They also all had a keen sense of drama. "How are you doing, pumpkin? Wasn't it a long drive?"

"No, Dad, it was fine. And don't start calling me that, please!”

"Oh, you know Aziraphale heard all the nicknames I gave you. Isn't that right, Ezra?”_Aziraphale nodded and laughed. Raphaëlle's parents had probably decided to embarrass her as much as possible. "And I'm sure his parents will do the same thing in front of you!" Crowley looked at her father with black eyes and his father looked at Aziraphale.

"Alas, no Daniel. My parents and I are no longer on good terms." He decided to tell the truth. Maybe Raphaëlle didn’t tell them about it but he rather thought Daniel just forgot.

"Oh, I'm so sorry Aziraphale!" 

"It doesn't matter. One of the joys of being an adult is choosing the people you stay close to." He replied.

"That's very true. Well, I'm going to go kiss my wife before my dear daughter kills me with her eyes.”

"Right away, the guilt speech! It doesn’t work you know!” 

Aziraphale was watching this interaction between Raphaëlle and her father. He had seen them together so many times during his teenage years. They had the same familiarity, the same ease of being a family together. Daniel just entered the room and he was already teasing Crowley.

In another time, he would have been jealous. He most likely had been during his teenage years. His parents were not torturers as his best friend might have thought at the time, but they had never been... family? Yes, that was probably the term. His parents had had demands, he had tried to meet them but their relationship lacked the tenderness and spontaneity he saw when he watched Raphaëlle and Daniel talking together. This feeling of ease and joy now filled him completely.

Raphaëlle took him out of his reverie by winking at him. She reserved a glass of wine for him and took out another glass for her father who went to join Catherine. Aziraphale wanted to touch Crowley and he grabbed her by the waist and passed his arms around her. He liked her. He _liked_ her _so much_.

Dinner with Raphaëlle's family was simple. Everyone agreed not to eat too much because tomorrow evening there would be the Christmas dinner. The Crowleys made Christmas dinner on the evening of the 24th and exchanged gifts on the morning of the 25th. The conversation was easy and smooth. Aziraphale caught up with the essential elements of his partner's family life: Catherine's retirement, Daniel's jealousy because he had to work for another year, the trips they had made together when their child had left home.

The evening ended with a James Bond movie. Not a very Christmassy atmosphere but it was a tradition when Raphaëlle came to spend a few days at her parents' house, that they ended the first day with a film of the franchise. Aziraphale barely followed the film, the memories of high school gradually surfacing. Did Crowley keep their prom pictures? Any keepsakes of their time together? He would ask her tomorrow, if they could make some time between decorating the tree and making the meal. For the time being, he was enjoying these moments spent with her. Every time he looked at her, he smiled a little more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this story, we talk about condoms !!
> 
> Hello people <3, 
> 
> Thanks for being here for this story. I have over a hundred subscriptions and thanks to all of you <3 If you want to write me something, I would be over the moon *.* 
> 
> I still don't know how many chapters it will be cause I change my mind everyday about it. This story is all about forgiveness, communication and falling in love and I just LOVE writing it. 
> 
> As I said to my beta, I don't write angst but I like sexual tension so, fair warning. 
> 
> Be happy and safe <3 Love you all <3 As always, if you want me to write something on this story, anything, please feel free to ask <3


	18. Christmas with the Crowleys (II)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Confessions, decorations and gifts. 
> 
> No TW.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I wanted to post this chapter friday but here, take this. I can't wait to share it with you all <3
> 
> Thanks to my amazing proofreader [@Lovethistoomuch](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lovethistoomuch/pseuds/Lovethistoomuch) who makes this story so much better every time <3

It had been a perfect day and Raphaëlle wondered how her life had come to this. Spending time like that, in the privacy of her childhood home, was surely the most personal thing she had ever done with anyone. Her parents had been happy to see Aziraphale again. She had seen it in the way they had welcomed him. Of course, his parents had always been very social people, but there was something more. They too had welcomed him into their lives when they were teenagers and when she lost Aziraphale, they had lost him too. She had never asked them the question she was now thinking about: _is it difficult for parents to lose someone close to their child too?_ Obviously, it was certainly not the same for them and they had been there to comfort her above all, but they had had a relationship with him, outside the one she and he had shared.

Lying in her bed, Aziraphale against her, she couldn't sleep, excited at the idea of the day ahead. She was thinking about their Saturday and their trip to the shopping mall. She should have insisted on spending the day in bed. They had been so close to... doing something, and she had to invite him to go out at that time. Instead of staying skin-to-skin in the warmth of her bed, she had to find a place in a shopping mall parking lot on the weekend before Christmas after having to give up the idea of eating something from the bakery near her home. She had rarely gotten upset then. But she couldn't stay that way when Aziraphale took her hand after getting out of the car (after she had driven in circles for half an hour in the fucking parking lot) to reach the upper floors where the shops were located. On the square, in front of the mall, they had found a small Christmas market and had drank a complimented by a piece of a German Christmas cake whose name she could not remember. The crowd had made her stressed out and every time she met the angel's gaze, it looked as if he were in the middle of a place that was so close to hell on earth. She couldn't help but smile a little at his expression but also felt a little guilty after all, it was partly her fault and she knew it. In the end, he hadn't bought anything. Aziraphale preferred local shops and she should never have suggested taking him to the shopping center there. They had gone home to drop off the car and walked around the city. With some ideas from her, her partner had finally found the perfect gifts.

She turned to the side so she could look at him. With the little light emanating from the window, she could see almost nothing, but she had looked at him enough in the past few months since they had crossed paths again that she did not need to see him clearly to know what his face looked like right now. Time had embellished him. As a teenager, Aziraphale was cute but now she thought he was fucking beautiful. His style as a university professor, the softness of his voice, the roundness of his cheeks, his body, the fact that he was so goddamn sexy! He drove her crazy.

Okay. She had to calm down, clearly. She should get up to go to the kitchen and drink some water. It was a good idea or she'd wake him up eventually. A glance at her phone before getting up told her that it was half past midnight. She kissed Aziraphale's cheek before getting out of bed.

Once she went down, she noticed a light coming from the living room. Her mother tended to stay in this room to read or watch TV so as not to disturb her father. She went to join her and found her mother on the couch, with her feet on the coffee table, a blanket covering her and a book in her hand, as she had expected. Raphaëlle loved her mother and this feeling had intensified over the years. Her father too, by the way. Her parents had always been there for her, no matter what she was going through. She realized how lucky she was, especially during the Christmas season. Joining her mother on the couch, she rested her head on her legs. Catherine had put down her book as soon as she had seen her child.

"Can't you sleep?" her mother asked while whispering as if the rest of the house could hear them.

"I could sleep, Mom, but I have a lot to think about.”

"You've always thought too much sweety. Do you want to talk about it?" Her mother had begun to caress her hair. It was probably the most beautiful physical feature her mother had given her. 

"Oh, you know, always excited about Christmas." She had always loved Christmas and usually spent the week before almost unable to sleep wondering if the gifts she had bought would be the right ones.

"Is that all you can think about?" Her mother knew her too well. She couldn't hide anything from her.

"No. I'm terrified, Mom. Aziraphale, he... I mean, I..."

"Are you afraid something will happen like when you were young?" Catherine continued to run her hand through her hair. She knew her child better than anyone else. Raphaëlle considered her as her mother and closest confidant.

"No! Absolutely not, no, that's not it. We talked about this, it's in the past. No, I..." She turned slightly so she could look her mother in the eye. "Mom, I think I'm in love. For real this time”

"And?" And? And? Like it was fucking nothing at all!

"And we've only been together a few weeks. And it's only been a few months since I found him. And it's too soon. And you know I always feel like I'm falling in love quickly, but now I know it's different." She hadn't taken the time to breathe between all these sentences. She had told her all at once. In her mother's arms, confessing was always easier. 

"And?" Catherine repeated. She knew, obviously she knew.

"And if he never gets to that... It's never been like that. And even if the past is the past, I loved him once and lost him. I don't want it to happen again. I didn't think I would experience this … feeling so quickly." Her mother smiled at her and she felt reassured. It was her mommy super power, she thought. Catherine took the time to think before speaking again.

"Sweetie, I would like to assure you that everything will be fine and that you will be happy with him forever, but you know that's not how love stories, or any story really, work. It's a risk, whether you let yourself take it or not. You can decide not to continue, and you will be sure of what will happen. It will hurt on the spot, maybe for a while and it will go away one day. Or you decide to take the risk of living this story and one day it may end. This possibility will never disappear, not in a year or in ten. To love someone is to take the risk of suffering but it is also the possibility of finding happiness." Her mother's words echoed in Raphaëlle's head. That was the whole problem with love. She thought she'd have more time before she started to worry about these feelings. When Raphaëlle said nothing, her mother continued. "Aziraphale looks at you that way, you know? When he knows you don't see him. I mean, I've been wrong in the past... maybe I'm wrong.”

"You were right, Mom. It just wasn't the right time. Maybe it is now.”

"I hope so. And I'll be there. Your father will be there. As always." Catherine kissed her on the forehead and started stroking her hair again. Raphaëlle let herself be soothed by the presence of her mother. When she started to fall asleep, her mother shook her gently to wake her up and both of them went to bed. In front of Raphaëlle's room, the first room in the hallway, her mother kissed her on the cheek. "Good night, Raphaelle, I love you." ‘I love you’ The latter replied with her sleepy voice and went to slip into her bed. As soon as she was under the duvet, arms wrapped around her to hug her and she fell asleep almost immediately, feeling much lighter. She had made her choice.

She woke up when she heard her parents walk past her door. They had whispered, but it was impossible not to hear them and she was no longer as used to the noise in her sleep, as when she had been a teenager. Even very small noises were waking her up now...

Fortunately, she was not alone. An angel was asleep by her side and she was going to have to wake him up because they had a lot to do today, including decorating the tree. She decided to use a ninja technique: a kiss attack. She placed little kisses all over his face until she felt Aziraphale waking up. Then she kissed him directly on the lips and after a few seconds he answered, and the kiss turned into something much more passionate and sexual. Her whole body woke up when he put one of his hands on her hips. She replied by passing her hand under his t-shirt and letting it rise to touch the top of his chest. Their kiss smothered Aziraphale’s moan.

After that light sound, the only thing Raphaëlle could think of was that she wanted to hear more. As she continued to kiss, she took Aziraphale's t-shirt in her hands, raised it as high as possible and changed position to be above him. Her lips left those of the blond man to descend on his neck.

"Is it okay?" she asked in the hollow of his neck between two kisses pressed under his ear. He nodded. "I need to hear it Aziraphale.”

"Yes."

Having his explicit consent, she got up to take off her own shirt and soon felt his skin against hers. She felt a shiver when she saw Aziraphale's gaze on her. He looked at her intensely and she had rarely felt as beautiful and desired as she did at that moment! She could not hold his gaze for long. She decided to do something, and she put her tongue over his right nipple. Aziraphale's noise was one of the most erotic things she had ever heard in her life. Before she realized that her parents were not very far away...

"Shhhhhhh" She kissed him tenderly. "We can't make any noise angel." The idea of not being able to make noise was in itself exciting and frustrating.

"Mmmmh, it's not that easy, dear!" He punctuated his sentence by rolling his hips and if she hadn't paid attention to their state of excitement before, now Raphaëlle could not ignore it. The friction made her want to scream.

"Okay okay, I didn't say anything, angel, you win. What should we do?”

"Calm down and go down for breakfast," was the slightly disappointing answer, but at least he sounded disappointed too. Raphaëlle let herself slide on her side of the bed. He was right, she knew it. God! Or Satan! Or someone! She was frustrated. Aziraphale did not help when he whispered in her ear before getting up to get dressed. "I absolutely want to hear you when we do this.”

After several minutes and a good cold shower, Raphaëlle joined her parents and Aziraphale at the breakfast table, who were talking while eating. She kissed her parents and sat down next to her partner. She only listened with half an ear, thinking about their day. The morning would be spent decorating the tree. Her father had brought one back two days earlier and his parents had waited for her to decorate it as usual. She watched this domestic scene unfold before her eyes, Aziraphale in her kitchen with her parents.

She hadn’t expected the explanations of her feelings she had given to her mother to come out in that way. She hadn’t realized it until she had told her. In the past, she had always loved quickly and fully, but after a few weeks, it turned out that she wasn’t really in love. She just had a hard crush. She hoped that it wouldn't turn out that way with Aziraphale, even though, deep down, she knew it was different.

"Raphaëlle, can you help me prepare some food this afternoon? Especially the cake?" Her mother's voice took her out of her thoughts.

"Yes, of course, Mom.”

"Perfect. Daniel, can you get the decorations, please?” 

"Do you need help with getting them all out? "Aziraphale had always had this tendency to help.

"Yes, thank you Ezra! Follow me!”

Her father and her partner left to pick up the Christmas decorations. Raphaëlle watched them go out before refocusing on her mother who looked like someone who knew something but said nothing.

"Are you all right, pumpkin? " her mother asked.

"Perfect mom!" And she wasn't lying. She felt perfectly happy.

Decorating the tree was a ritual that Raphaëlle loved. The first thing to do was to put on the garlands that produced a beautiful golden light. The problem was that every year, they had to be untangled. That part was hell. Once the garlands were laid out with the help of her father, she opened the decoration boxes. She had always loved Christmas trees in red and gold tones. For years, her mother had been trying to get her to accept a little change, but she was attached to the decorations of her childhood. 

The presence of Aziraphale at her side made the experience more important. He passed her the decorations she asked for while Catherine and Daniel started preparing the evening meal in the kitchen. They heard them laughing at something as she adjusted one of the balls on the tree.

"Your parents seem so happy, my dear. I have the impression that they are as in love as when we were teenagers." He came behind her and put his arms around her waist. It was their favorite way of hugging since she first did it in his apartment.

"They are happy together yes. They are constantly working on their relationship. To me, they are the embodiment of what a couple should be." Once she had finished adjusting the decoration, she stroked Aziraphale's hands, which rested on her stomach.

"What do you mean?”

"They really know each other, qualities as well as flaws. They love each other because they choose to love each other every day, to be there for each other even when it is difficult. They had periods of lows and I thought they were going to divorce for a while, but they tried, not for me or for others, just for them. Having someone who loves you enough to always give you a chance is the most beautiful thing.”

She felt Aziraphale's lips in the hollow of her neck before he turned her around to kiss her fully on the mouth. They stopped when they heard Daniel and Catherine coming to see where they were at. All that was missing was the star to put on the top. Raphaëlle gave it to her father. He always was the one to do it because he was the tallest when she was younger. Now, she could have done it herself but she liked to see her father make that simple gesture. Another tradition.

Raphaëlle went to make tea for Aziraphale and herself while her parents took a nap, like the old people they were. (She would also have liked to take a nap but she wanted to enjoy the quiet time with Aziraphale). Breakfast had been copious, and they didn't want to have lunch. She placed the cups of tea on the coffee table, sitting next to the blond. The lights on the tree were blinking in the dimly lit living room due to bad weather.

"It's a beautiful tradition you have, always decorating the tree together.”

"I think that's my favorite part of Christmas. That and the gifts!" Raphaëlle took a sip of tea. She had gone for a Christmas tea that was rather delicious.

"I remember when you used to call me to tell me what your parents had given you. You've always been excited about Christmas and it doesn't seem to have changed, darling.”

"No, not really." She approached him and kissed him. "The fact that you're here increases the excitement." She felt that she was blushing. She really wasn't as good at flirting as she liked to think.

"I love being here with you." He stroked her cheek with that sweetness to which she was beginning to get used

"Do you want to watch a Christmas movie, angel? I know it would be more to your taste than James Bond.” 

"I enjoyed watching James Bond..." She gave him a doubtful look. "Okay, I prefer a Christmas movie.”

She turned on the TV and scrolled through the channels to find a film that had just started, which was not too difficult. She positioned herself against Aziraphale and let herself doze off to the story of children who were going to save Christmas. 

The preparations began again when her parents came down into the living room again. She went to prepare the cake which was still her responsibility. She didn't like to buy it and decided very early on that she would be in charge of the baking. She had to shoo Aziraphale out of the kitchen because he tended to want to eat the pastry chocolate that would be used to make dessert. She kissed him while chasing him out before working on the pastry. She heard her mother invite Aziraphale to come and talk with her and her husband. Raphaëlle hoped that her parents would not start threatening her boyfriend in any way that parent's might do. Thinking about it made her laugh.

Once she had finished, her mother and father replaced her in the kitchen to prepare the meal. She and Aziraphale were responsible for getting the wine out from the basement and preparing the table. The afternoon passed slowly. Raphaëlle felt like she was in a cocoon. She never thought Christmas could be even better than it had been in the last years. But she clearly had been wrong.

Around 6 PM, she retired to the bathroom in order to prepare herself. She had picked one of her most beautiful dresses: black, long, very conservative in the front but with a slashed back that was a sin in itself. Her hair took the longest to take care of, as she put it up in a pinned up hairstyle. She came out of the bathroom almost an hour later. Fortunately, her parents owned their own bathroom. Then, she went into her bedroom to put on her heels, the Crowleys dressed up for Christmas, and jumped when she saw that Aziraphale was finishing putting on his bow tie. The latter turned to her when he saw her reflection in the mirror.

"God, you look beautiful!”

He said it with such fervor that Raphaëlle felt herself blushing. She blushed too much around him. To hide it, she turned around to show him what her dress revealed. She then took the time to look at him. He was wearing a navy-blue suit, a white shirt and a sky-blue bow tie. For a few seconds, Crowley imagined taking off these clothes. She would very much like to take off his clothes.

"You're not bad yourself, my angel.”

She did not realize the possessive she had put in front of the usual nickname. She just kissed him on the forehead before bending down, in a provocative way, to get her shoes. She played a little bit by putting on her heels, raising the dress that came to her feet and showing her ankles. She didn't need to look at Aziraphale to know that he was staring at her. Once she had finished, she headed for the bedroom door. At the last moment, she turned to him. 

"Are you coming?”

"Yes darling. Just finishing up... after that, I'm coming.” 

"Okay, I'll wait for you downstairs.” 

She went out of the room with a smile on her face. Her parents were also very well dressed. Her mother wore a green dress that highlighted her red hair with black heels and her father had put on his brown suit pants with a white shirt. He didn't want to wear a tie and his wife always blamed him for it. They all exchanged compliments on their looks and when Aziraphale joined them, a first bottle of champagne was opened. A toast was made and they began to talk, Christmas carols passing over the hi-fi system.

"Raphaëlle, is it fine with you if we do the gifts tonight as an exception? Your mother told me that maybe you would mind if you weren't ready, I should have asked you first.”

"No, it's okay, don't worry, Dad." She ate a piece of toast in one bite. She was nervous about her gift for Aziraphale. She wasn't sure if she should give it to him in front of her parents. Well, it was only one of the gifts that made her nervous.

"My dear," Aziraphale interrupted his thoughts. "I checked my phone before coming down and Anathema sent us a message to ask what we're doing for the New Year and wish us a merry Christmas. We'll have to answer her tomorrow.”

"No worries, angel. We'll talk about it tomorrow." How had she ended up in the shoes of a married woman?

They sipped their champagne while talking about everything and nothing. Aziraphale and Catherine found themselves talking about an author whom they both apparently loved very much. A contemporary author. It was interesting enough to be noted on Aziraphale's part. The conversation, therefore, turned to literature. The subject ended when the main course was brought to the table. Raphaëlle served the red wine and Daniel the different elements of the dish. The table was decorated in the Christmas theme with a red tablecloth and decorated napkins. Everything was a perfect cliché and Crowley loved it. From literature, the conversation moved, as was customary in family Christmas dinners, towards one political subject to another. Fortunately, everyone around the table was in agreement.

Aziraphale did not fail to compliment Catherine and Daniel for the food, which pleased them beyond what he could have imagined, Raphaëlle thought. Her parents laughed with her and her partner so easily. Everything was going so smoothly. They all ate to the point where they could no longer eat, which led to the dessert time being postponed. Daniel changed the music to jazz and invited his wife to dance with him.

"Argh, my parents are so cliché." Raphaëlle only said that to annoy them. Her mother pulled out her tongue, which made them both burst out laughing. She watched her parents hug each other and thought, as she often did when she looked at her parents, that this was what love was like. She did not feel Aziraphale get up but realized it when she turned to him after he asked her to dance with him. "With pleasure.”

They got up and joined Raphaëlle's parents in the middle of the living room. Between her heels and their size difference, Aziraphale was much smaller than her, but it didn't seem to bother him at all. He put his arms around her waist and rested his head against her shoulder as she put her face in his hair. After the first dance, Daniel took his daughter in his arms to dance with her while Catherine danced with Aziraphale. His father whispered in her ear.

"Pumpkin, we didn't scare Aziraphale, did we?”

"Of course not, Dad!”

"Your mother told me about your conversation last night.”

"I know. She tells you everything I had to accept it twenty years ago. Why are you telling me this?”

"Just to remind you that you are my child, that I love you and that I will always be there. I want to see you happy." She wanted to cry, but she swallowed her tears. She wasn't sad just deeply happy.

"I know, Dad, thank you for everything. You've always been there for me, supporting me. I know not everyone is so lucky." She looked at Aziraphale who was quietly talking to her mother, both of them with a smile on their faces as if dancing together was the most normal thing in the world.

"This should be the case for everyone sweety." He kissed her on the cheek because they were both the same size. He stopped whispering when he asked if it was time for the cake.

"Maybe we can take the presents down now, eat and then open them.” Catherine proposed.

Everyone agreed and went to get the gifts and put them under the tree. The cake was a success. Raphaëlle was very proud of herself when she saw the luminous look of Aziraphale when he took the first bite. She promised herself to make him discover her culinary talents more fully, but due to the rhythm of her classes at university, she often didn't have time to spend the weekend cooking, especially when she could spend time with the blond. The champagne complimented the chocolate dessert perfectly and at the end, all four felt very light. They had all consumed a lot of alcohol, so it was fortunate that no one had to go further than the upper floor.

Once finished, they sat around the coffee table and Daniel brought the presents for everyone. Raphaëlle was amazed at how much Aziraphale's gifts to her parents and her parents' gifts to Aziraphale were perfect. Aziraphale had bought the most recent book of the author that Catherine and he had talked about earlier in the evening. Raphaëlle had not even helped him, not knowing whether her mother had it or not. He just knew. For Raphaëlle’s father, he had bought an excellent rum. He had also added one of these gift boxes that allowed you to choose a couple’s activity among a whole range of activities. Both Catherine and Daniel were touched by these gifts and their accuracy. Her parents offered Aziraphale Oscar Wilde's works from the _Pléiade_ collection as a gift. Raphaëlle had not been consulted on this choice and she understood why her parents did not need her. They had also added two books that they had liked so that they could talk about them together when Aziraphale had finished them. For a moment, she thought he was going to cry. He changed his expression all of a sudden into a huge smile and hugged each of her parents.

"Thank you very much. Catherine. Daniel. These gifts are beautiful.”

He said it with such sincerity that Raphaëlle also wanted to cry. When he sat beside her again, she kissed him on the cheek and put her arm around him. She gave him her first gift from herself, a bow tie almost the same color as his suit with white dots. He seemed to love it. She also offered him a mug with angel wings but a black version "to complete his collection." He kissed her tenderly and gave her his gifts: _the big book of astronomy_ and _the picture of Dorian Grey_ in the version she had wanted to read in high school. When she saw this book, he smiled tenderly at her, adding, "You'll have plenty of time to finish it this time" and her heart squeezed in her chest. The gifts that the Crowleys exchanged were not surprising as they always gave each other suggestions. Raphaëlle wanted to start yoga and her parents offered her a subscription. She had organized a weekend for them in the countryside for April. Once the presents were unwrapped, Aziraphale took another piece of cake and Raphaëlle reserved some champagne for herself.

The evening came to an end and fatigue began to set in. Catherine and Daniel began to clean up and were interrupted by Raphaelle who sent them to bed. She and Aziraphale took care of everything and then found themselves on the couch.

"Oh, I'll be right back, I forgot to give you your last gift." She obviously hadn't forgotten, she just wanted them both to be alone. She hurried to get the album from the room. She took off her heels at the same time and joined her partner. She put the gift on his lap and sat next to him, her legs underneath her.

He looked at her intrigued and decided to open the present. She had collected the photos and drawings the last time she came to her parents' house. She thought she would keep them to herself, just take them home, but when she saw them in the light of their new relationship, she decided to scan them to keep a copy and give him the originals. Aziraphale turned the pages gently. It was a photo album, containing all the photos they had taken together when they were teenagers, the drawings she had made of him that she had never shown him, receipts from the cinema and bowling. She had taken the box of their teenage years out from the closet and made it into an album to give to him, a second life for their memories together.

"It's...” He stopped, not finishing his sentence.

"Yes." She had answered because she understood. When he looked at her, she saw the emotion in his eyes, the joy, the amazement. He gently placed the album on the coffee table and guided her to lie down, his body above her before kissing her tenderly. When he stopped the kiss, he looked her right in the eye.

"You kept all this.”

"I wasn't going to throw out our time together, angel. I only locked it in a box.”

"And you pulled it out. Put in an album. And you gave it to me.”

"Yes."

His eyes were piercing her. She found herself unable to know exactly what he was thinking. She wanted to look and stop looking at the same time. He seemed to be searching for his words. Finally, after a deep breath, he spoke.

"I think I'm gonna fall in love with you."

Without hesitation, she replied, "Please, do."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooooooooo ? 
> 
> I think this is my favorite chapter so far :3 If you want to scream with me about my story or good omens, I'm on tumblr. I don't know how to use it but you can send me a message :D [@AccroV](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/accrov) or you can scream with me the comments. 
> 
> As always, if you want me to write something on this story (or another prompt why not), feel free to share.
> 
> See you soon <3


	19. Christmas with the Crowleys (III)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hair brushing, (not) a mother and high school. 
> 
> TW : transphobia, enbyphobia, homophobia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To my amazing proof reader [@Lovethistoomuch](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lovethistoomuch/pseuds/Lovethistoomuch), this story is this because of you. Thank you for your constant support <3

How long had they been on Raphaëlle's parents' couch, their lips dancing against each other? How long had it been since Aziraphale felt so happy? He had kissed his partner so much that his face was starting to hurt. There was no way he was going to stop. He felt different after confessing to her. He knew where he was headed and she was going there too. 

Spending Christmas Eve with Catherine and Daniel had been a real pleasure. Seeing Raphaëlle with her parents had been wonderful. They were so free in their emotions together. All three knew and loved each other and Aziraphale had been included so easily in their dynamics. Talking with Crowley's parents came naturally. Both were a couple of curious people, lively, without false pretenses. Of course, they too had changed after so many years, but they remained faithful to the memory that Aziraphale had kept of them.

Above all, he had the impression that he got along particularly well with Catherine. Daniel tended to be more reserved, but Catherine was direct and exuberant. Raphaëlle was a perfect combination of the two. He had expected Catherine to talk to him like a mother who wanted to protect her child. He had been willing to tell her the truth. He didn't need to. In the middle of their dance together, when he had turned his head slightly to look at his partner who was talking to her father, Catherine calmly told him. 

"You shouldn't wait too long to tell her”

"Excuse me, Catherine, but what do you mean by that?”

"You know what I mean." Yes, he knew. "You have a second chance, don't miss it.”

Three sentences. And she had changed the subject while Aziraphale had looked at Raphaëlle who was whispering something to her father. The rest of the evening was all the more beautiful. Catherine and Daniel's gifts had been superb because they had a purpose: to be able to share. They had not taken books at random, especially since it was always difficult to offer him books that he had not already read. They had offered books that had meaning for them, meaning because they had read and loved them and Aziraphale had received a copy to share with them. It was not so much the gift itself as the purpose that was wonderful.

And then there was Raphaëlle, perfect, wonderful, Raphaëlle. Her gift had touched Aziraphale so deeply that he was unable to express it. It was not often that he found himself without a word. He was a man of letters. He taught words. He loved them more than reasons, which led him to write a thesis on them. And yet, in the face of the beauty of this gift, in the face of this intimacy, he had not been able to say anything. 

Well, that wasn't quite true. He had half told her he was in love. He was going to fall in love. What makes us move from thinking we are in love to knowing we are? That was the big question he asked himself before he told her. He had heard Catherine's words reasoning in him. Not being quite sure, he had made the choice to wait. He would say it, one day, soon, over a nice dinner. Maybe wait for Valentine's Day?

If he hadn't kissed her, Aziraphale would probably have cried. He never knew that she had drawn him. As she had never known that he had written about her, pages of confessions mixed with regrets especially after losing her. The pictures were important but the drawings... It reflected something more. On paper, he had seen how she saw him when they were young, well, younger. He really looked like an angel. 

In the kisses they exchanged, he tried to put all his feelings: his nascent love, his desire, his happiness. On her parents' couch, pressed against her, he smiled slightly as he thought of his young self, who would surely be shocked to know where he now found himself years later.

How could he be so happy?

"Angel," Raphaëlle had a raspy voice with a jerky breath. "Do you intend to let us go to bed or are we going to stay all night on the couch making out?”

"Would you have a problem with the second option?”

"Absolutely not, but if that's the case, I'll need a cushion behind my back. The arm of the couch hits me and it's really not pleasant. I am _not_ a teenager girl anymore you know!”

Aziraphale withdrew from above her and sat down to give her time to recover. Maybe they should move this to the bed after all. He took one of Crowley's hands and kissed it.

"Let's go to the bedroom. It will be much more comfortable.”

"I have to go to the bathroom to remove my makeup and I'll meet you there." She got up and kissed him on the lips before quickly climbing up. 

Aziraphale took the album he had put on the table and flipped through it again. He stopped at the photo of the prom. Crowley looked so annoyed and Aziraphale looked so carefree. Both were perfect opposites in terms of color. This was always the case, by the way. Another picture of the same evening had been taken with Catherine between the two of them. Smiling, he closed the album and carried it to the room. He changed and waited for Raphaëlle with the album, smiling softly while he thought about the time behind the photos.

She came back growling something unintelligible, but it must have had something to do with her hair. She hadn't taken off her dress and was currently struggling with her hairbrush. Aziraphale closed his book. He used to catch up on his reading during the holidays, but it was apparently not on the agenda.

"Darling, do you need any help?"

She turned her eyes to him. "No, it's okay, Aziraphale. Just, I didn't anticipate the problem of untangling when I did my hair.”

She looked tense and Aziraphale didn't like seeing her like that. She had sat at the edge of the bed and continued to struggle with her brush in her hair. He kissed her at the base of the neck and slipped the shoulders of her dress off. 

"Why don't you take off your dress and sit while I work on your hair." He saw a light blush on her face. She didn’t answer but she left her brush on the bed and got up to take off her dress as he had suggested. She sat on the edge on the bed, her back in front of him. He took the brush and gently passed it through Raphaëlle's hair. 

"Perfect my dear.”

He untangled her hair in silence, feeling her relax each time he passed his hand through it after the brush. From time to time, he would let his lips press soft kisses on the hollow of her neck, which made her shiver. After a few minutes and with great gentleness and patience, her hair had returned to normal, perhaps a little straighter than usual. After placing the brush on his bedside table, Aziraphale put his hand through her hair and tilted her head slightly to kiss her forehead. Her eyes closed and her smile was angelic.

"Thank you, angel.”

They crawled under the duvet together, Raphaëlle pressed against Aziraphale, her cheek against his shoulder and her arm around his waist, warm and happy. She looked peaceful and it felt so right to be like this.

"Merry Christmas Aziraphale.”

"Merry Christmas Raphaëlle.”

Waking up late and after talking for a few minutes about the idea of going out into town, the two decided that December 25 would be spent reading and watching Christmas movies inside with Catherine and Daniel. There was enough food left over from the previous day which the four shared, in a hearty brunch. Aziraphale could not help but compliment his girlfriend on her cake.

"Raphaëlle, I demand that you teach me how to make a cake like this!” Of course, she agreed to that statement.

"Oh, pumpkin, you could make your cookies today, couldn't you? You know how much your mother and I appreciate them!" proposed or rather imposed Daniel. 

"I could help!" added Aziraphale.

"Okay, we'll make cookies this afternoon." Between her father and her partner, she had no choice but to say yes.

From a young age, cookies were the most basic recipe Raphaëlle knew. Aziraphale helped her to make the dough and supervised the cooking. Well, she had to supervised he wouldn’t steal the chocolate. He wanted to tease her and he loved the way she looked at him when he stole a piece of chocolate, annoyed but with so much tenderness. He tried to make amends and kissed her as a way to apologize but she decided that she was on a kiss strike. She wouldn’t kiss him if he didn’t behave. He put on him his best pout but she ignored him as she was finishing the dough. He finished the backing, did the dishes and, finally, she kissed him. 

They ate the cookies with hot chocolate while watching a Christmas movie that Catherine had chosen. A magnificent cartoon that none of them had ever seen before. After the film, Catherine and Daniel went for a walk. Aziraphale decided to read on the sofa with Raphaëlle, his head resting on her lap. She asked him to read aloud and, of course, he did.

At the end of the day, Crowley called Anathema while they were having tea. Aziraphale listened to her part of the conversation, while sitting next to her. (this makes it a bit clearer that it is only Crowley speaking)

"Hey, Anathema, Merry Christmas from Aziraphale and me!” … “Thank you! Thank you! Did you want to talk to us about New Years?” … “Nope, nothing planned.” … “Yes, why not. We can do that at my place.” … “Mmmh yes, Gabriel right? Then I have some acquaintances but I don't really want to invite them.” … “Do you want to bring someone?” … “Okay. But if you want, don't hesitate.” … “Yes, that went very well. I think he liked it." Aziraphale turned to her with an interrogating look. She was slightly blushing. "Um yes, yes, yes. I'll text you this, okay?” … “Yes, we're having tea. He says hello to you.” … “Okay, we'll talk about it when I get back. Goodbye Anathema!”

"What do you think I liked?" Aziraphale could not help but ask the question with a voice clearly made to tease Raphaëlle. 

"Nothing really. Anathema always asks such specific questions.” Did she try to change the subject ? “She seems to know everything in advance!”

"Mmmmh..." That hadn't been a real answer and he was still curious. "She's very perceptive.” 

The conversation moved to another topic when Catherine and Daniel returned from their walk. The four spent a quiet evening discussing everything and nothing. Aziraphale always had his hand laced with Raphaëlle's. Christmas day ended with the two of them kissing passionately on a bed ( _and being sexually frustrated_ ).

On the 26 of December, some shops were open, so they decided to go out after getting enough rest. In the afternoon, Aziraphale also wanted to walk by their old high school which was located in the next town. They had, after all, a lot of memories there. They took the car and then walked to the city’s main street. Catherine had asked them to buy some bread and tried to give them coins to pay. Raphaëlle had protested because both of them were adults. They could buy bread without needing to be given pocket money, thank you Mum. The scene had made Aziraphale laugh and Catherine and Raphaëlle had given him a black but amused look, which led him to stop. He had no desire to see the two of them angry at him.

On the way, Aziraphale began to talk about the book Daniel had given him. Crowley always listened to him talk about literature as he listened to her talk about physics and mathematics in return. It was part of their arrangement. He was so caught up in his monologue, because yes, it was a monologue, that he didn't understand why his partner had stopped walking. He looked at her and she nodded to him to tell him to turn around. 

"Aziraphale!" A woman's voice had called him and even years without hearing it, he recognized it right away. He turned around and found himself facing a tall blond woman with the same eyes as his own.

"Oh..." He really didn't expect to see her here, but he hadn't hallucinated when he felt like he had seen her a few days earlier. "Hello, Mom." He felt his partner's hand squeezing a bit tighter around his own. He was forced to let go when his mother put her arms around him to hug him as if they hadn't stopped talking to each other for years. He did nothing and she turned to Crowley and held out her hand.

"Hello, Laurence Fell. I am Aziraphale's mother.”

Aziraphale watched the scene unfold before his eyes, not knowing what to do. How could this woman, who had become a stranger, introduce herself as his mother so easily? Fortunately, Raphaëlle seemed to be managing the situation better.

"I know." She took Laurence's hand to shake it. "Raphaëlle Crowley. We have already met.”

"Crowley, Crowley, Crowley. This name speaks to me..." Then after a moment of reflection she burst out. "Oh, Aziraphale's best high school friend had that name.”

"Yes, I know." Raphaëlle simply repeated. She put her arm around Aziraphale, who still said nothing. He tried to understand this situation that, on the surface, should have been simple but, in reality, was slightly surreal.

"Are you related to him?" asked Laurence, who was looking at the arm around Aziraphale's waist. 

"You could say that." The answer took Aziraphale out of his trance and he looked at his partner again, smiling at her.

"What do you mean?" Obviously, she had to insist.

"I'm his best friend from high school." Laurence stared at Raphaëlle. She was wearing her sunglasses and smiling slightly as if the situation was funny. How did she do it? She didn’t have to do that especially so soon after what happened at work. He hoped she didn’t do this just for his sake. This woman, who pretended to be his mother, was nothing to him.

"But... I mean..." She looked completely lost. Crowley added nothing. Perhaps, thought Aziraphale, to let his mother come to a conclusion alone. "Aziraphale, is your partner 'that kind of person’? You're not just a homosexual but also interested in.. _this_?" Laurence said that in a neutral tone. Like it was normal to say that kind of thing. And if there was one thing not to say, it was that. And finally, Aziraphale spoke up. 

"Excuse me... That kind of person? Not just homosexual? In what world do you live with Dad, seriously? You say this in the same tone as ‘pass me the sugar’. How dare you insult me and my partner in this way ? I'm not surprised that the years haven't improved anything on this subject. I, however, have changed. Your words no longer have the power to hurt me, no matter how much you might wish to do so. And you know the worst part of this, I’m not even sure you realize how much your words hurt me back then. What I sacrificed because I was too young and too much afraid. It doesn’t matter now … Have a great day, Mom. I'd tell you to pass on my best feelings to Dad, but the heart's not in it.”

He said all this with cold anger in his voice. He didn't need to raise his voice. He didn't have to. He had accepted for years that his parents would never be in harmony with who he was and what he stood for. He would have thought that seeing his mother again would be much more complicated, with lots of feelings. Of course, it was unpleasant, but at the same time, he had already left once. The second time was even less difficult. He took Raphaëlle’s hand and leaved the blond woman, maybe speechless, maybe angry. He didn’t know and he didn’t care. They went to the bakery in silence and returned to the Crowley’s house. On the way, they started talking again.

“Aziraphale, are you alright ?” asked Crowley with so much concern in her voice Aziraphale finally realized and hadn’t said anything.

“Are you dear ? I am so sorry. You shouldn’t have heard that ! How dare she ? I haven’t spoken to her for so many years and she acted like it was nothing. And she insulted you!” He was so angry he couldn’t stop speaking. Raphaëlle stopped walking, put her arms around his neck and locked her eyes, behind her glasses, on him. He hugged her and tried to look back. He was suddenly feeling much calmer.

“It’s alright angel.” She spoke softly like she didn’t want to startle him. “I knew what I was doing and I chose to do it. I have to admit, I didn’t think she could say that so easily but, nonetheless, I was curious. It was an easy way to know if she was alright now or no. And, I think, she is definitely not.”

Aziraphale took a deep breath in. He didn’t like that she had to hear this. He was angry against his mom but at least, she was alright. “Alright dearest. Thank you for being by my side.” He kissed her softly and took her hand to walk again. 

After they were back at the Crowleys’ house, Raphaëlle hugged him again and they went to make some tea. Seeing her worried look when she entered the kitchen in front of him, her parents asked her if everything was fine. After looking at Aziraphale to get his consent, she told them about their meeting. 

"I'm sorry, Aziraphale." Daniel began once Raphaëlle had finished. "Some people never change.”

"It doesn't matter. It has been a long time since I decided to no longer consider them as my family.”

That was true. He had made his choice so long ago. He should be devastated about today's meeting, shouldn't he? He should want to reconnect with his parents. He searched deep inside himself and found nothing but a little sadness.

"Come on, Angel. We're gonna go to our school and maybe do a little trespassing!”

"You better not be such a delinquent Raphaëlle!” Catherine intervened, which made the whole table laugh. 

_This is what a family looks like_ , thought Aziraphale.

After lunch, they left for their old high school. Seeing the buildings again brought back many memories, but it was not as strange and embarrassing as Aziraphale would have thought. They quickly went around the place and Raphaëlle tried to find a way in, but the school was closed. As they were near the front door, she took Aziraphale by his wrists and pressed him against the wall before kissing him. When she let go of his hands, he passed his arms around her waist, returning her kiss with the same passion. After a few moments, she broke away to catch her breath and he took the opportunity to ask.

"Why this tackle against the wall of our old high school, dear?" He was sure she had a reason and he should tease her about it.

"Never had the chance to kiss you in high school. I'm making it up to you and me.”

Aziraphale laughed and started kissing her again before she was even finished. Was there a meeting of former students that would allow them to enter the institution? He thought to himself that he would check it out. It was an idea.

They returned to the house and packed their bags for the next day. Raphaëlle and Aziraphale spent the evening with Catherine and Daniel and when it was time to leave, neither of them wanted to. They had had such a beautiful Christmas! They thanked Raphaëlle's parents for their endless efforts and promised to come back soon. They didn't live that far away after all.

On the way back, Aziraphale put on some Christmas songs in the background and looked at his partner tenderly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate Aziraphale's mother. Hasta la vista, you ugly person.
> 
> Thanks to [@EmilyCare](https://archiveofourown.org/users/emilycare) who suggested they go to a place with meaning for them and make out (ok not in this terms, but ...) <3 
> 
> As always, feel free to ask if you have a prompt for this AU (or for good omens content) :D


	20. New Year's Eve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cooking, sexy time and friends. 
> 
> TW : None (Explicit sexual content)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are in my first attempt at smut / porn with feelings. If you don't want to read it, please skip the part between '***********'
> 
> In this house, we mention condoms and STD test ! 
> 
> To my amazing proof reader [@Lovethistoomuch](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lovethistoomuch/pseuds/Lovethistoomuch), who even made my porn writing better <3 Thanks <3

Coming back from her parents to grad her students’ final exam was not at all, not at all, what Raphaëlle wanted to do. The final exam had the highest coefficient in her program and if her students did not have the average mark, they would almost automatically have to write another one. She had always hated giving bad marks to her students, especially when she knew how motivated they were. She couldn't help but wonder if it wasn't a little bit of her fault: had she misunderstood their mistakes, given them enough information and exercises to train? Becoming a teacher had been her first choice before becoming a researcher. Knowing that not all her students would pass was a personal failure that she knew she had to put into perspective. It wasn't always easy when she tended to get emotionally involved.

Due to the quiet resumption of work, she had not seen Aziraphale since they had returned home. He was also busy with work and there was something exciting about seeing him again for the New Year only. Crowley had called Anathema and they had gone to the shops once again because Raphaëlle wanted new clothes for New Year’s Eve. During their shopping, Raphaëlle found a black low waist jean that highlighted her legs and a slightly transparent black top. Anathema had applauded in front of the outfit and Raphaëlle had blushed slightly. She had been very clear about the purpose of this outing: to find an outfit that highlights her body. 

In addition, Gabriel had confirmed that he would be available and Raphaëlle had planned to get information from him about his ex. Aziraphale and her absolutely wanted to discover the truth. They had a bet in progress and she wanted to win it.

After talking to her partner on the phone, she also decided to take a blood test to see if she had any sexually transmitted infections. She had apprehended Aziraphale's reaction. He had, of course, agreed with her on the topic. They had decided to go separately but to do so as soon as possible. All their conversations recently tended to diverge on ONE particular topic and it was reassuring for them to check respectively where they were at. They had agreed to send the results to the other as soon as they had them. Crowley hated needles and had closed her eyes all along. She would have the results on the 31th just like Aziraphale. She had even sent a picture to Aziraphale of her bandage, which made him laugh, according to his message. Even if objectively, she knew she had not been exposed, waiting for the results was still stressful.

Raphaëlle was as excited as she was apprehensive about this evening. Having Anathema and Gabriel in her house would not be a problem but it was fair to say, that the second part of the evening she had planned, was stressful for her. She had thought about everything from the possibility of being completely drunk and unable to do anything until the next morning to not being able to wait long enough to even get to the bed when their friends would leave. The couch was a good option … She obviously liked the second scenario much more than the first, imagining herself pressing the blond's body against hers, putting her hands on his burning skin, kissing him passionately. Everything would be perfect. She was not the best at planning, but when she was determined, she reached her goal. She had had her thesis after all, a first time with her love, the one she was always thinking about, which made her heart beats so fast, her boyfriend, shouldn't be so complicated when she was almost 40, but _fuck seriously, stop acting like a teenager Crowley_! 

Raphaëlle had forgotten one thing, the habit of her body to fall ill during the December holidays. She would always force herself for several months to go without much sleep, and all of a sudden, around that time, her body would make a _big fuck you_ and take revenge by nailing her to bed. Her body was avenging itself with a clear message: ‘ah ah ah if you think you can handle your year with only black coffee, you're wrong. Here, be sick and rest’. After spending such beautiful days with Aziraphale, she had forgotten …

Her body reminded her of this on the morning of December 30 when she woke up with a migraine and a slight sore throat. She was also a little warmer than usual. Deciding to ignore the sensation, she got up and took some medication and then tried to go about her business. She felt better for a few hours and then felt an irresistible urge to go to bed after lunch. She went to lie down and closed her eyes for an hour. When she woke up, it was dark and she was sweating. She picked up her phone and dazzled herself with the light which, of course, had not automatically dimmed as it usually did. She had a missed call from Aziraphale. She dialed his number and dropped the phone next to her on the pillow after putting the speakerphone on. It was when he picked up that she started coughing.

 _"Good evening, darling, how are ..."_ He stopped when he heard her cough. _"Crowley, are you all right? Are you sick?”_

"Hey angel. No, I cough because I'm perfectly fine!" She tried to aim for a joke but ended up directly in sarcasm. She knew she was getting horrible when she was sick. Her mother called her a "sick monster" and she hated it. "Sorry. I think I'm getting sick and this is absolutely not the time when there's the New Year's Eve party tomorrow and at my home.”

_"It doesn't matter, you know. If you are sick, Gabriel and Anathema will understand completely.”_

"It's not just that. If I'm sick, you won't come and my plans will be ruined." She obviously didn't mean New Year's Eve but the party after.

 _"There's no way I'm not coming. I can even come tonight, if you want? I'm ahead of my work schedule."_ Having Aziraphale with her would surely be nice, but she didn't want him to come when she would just spend the evening sleeping as she would, if everything went as it usually did when she was ill.

"Tomorrow will be enough, angel. I'll probably spend the evening drinking water, snacking and sleeping to try to get better tomorrow. One chance in two that everything will be fine by noon tomorrow!”

_"Do you want me to tell Anathema and Gabriel about you being sick just in case?"_

"Yes," she replied with an annoyed sigh. She really wanted to see them but if they could do something else than watching her eat soup and blow her nose, they should enjoy it. "Tell them I'll confirm it tomorrow, okay?" She wanted to sleep but hearing Aziraphale's voice was pleasant, she didn't want to hang up so quickly.

_"I'll send them a message my dear. I'll let you rest. What would you say about me coming over tomorrow at lunchtime?”_

"Perfect. ‘Am tired. Got to sleep. ‘Night, my angel.” She was too tired to understand what she was saying.

_"Take care of yourself, love. I will see you tomorrow.”_

Raphaëlle did not move and fell asleep fast. She woke up a few hours later, took some more medicine, drank and went back to bed with no desire to eat.

Fortunately, she got better the next morning. She wasn't in her best shape but she had only a slight sore throat left, which shouldn't be a problem for the evening. She took her phone to send a message to Aziraphale telling him that she was better and that they could cook together as originally planned. She then went on to the joint conversation on whatsapp.

**Angel:** Good evening, both of you. Crowley called me and isn't feeling very well. I don't know if she'll be able to host tomorrow. If you want to do anything else maybe you should.

 **Gab'** : Oh, sorry @Crowley. Do you need anything? **Angel:** I don't think she does, but thank you Gabriel. We’ll confirm this tomorrow.

 **The Witch** (Raphaëlle had decided early in their relationship that Anathema was a witch so she named her ‘The Witch’ in her phone) **:** Nothing else to do tomorrow night. @Crowley I’ll come as planned and we change the theme of the evening. I have plenty of tonic to get you back in shape, grandma's recipes. Everything tastes disgusting, but it'll do you good.

 **Gab' :** I also preferred to spend New Year's Eve with you. If Raphaëlle is not in good shape, we can do something quiet. I make a great pumpkin soup. (I like him so much!)

 **The Witch:** Is that true? I prefer to make pumpkin pies personally.

 **Gab':** Sweet or salty?

Both had continued to talk about pie for much of the evening and Raphaëlle had no desire to read everything. She decided to answer.

 **Big Snake:** I’m feeling much better, just a little sore throat. Are you still coming at 8:00 PM??

 **The Witch:** Don't worry, I have something for that! You'll see you'll have no symptoms left after you take it. 

**Gab':** Anathema, are you a witch?

 **The Witch:** Yes.

 **Gab' :** You're not supposed to admit to being a witch directly, you know. You wouldn't have survived the Spanish Inquisition.

 **Big Snake:** Don't forget to bring what we agreed on!

The two continued talking about witches and the inquisition and Raphaëlle smiled at the idea of seeing them soon. Gabriel had been very encouraging after what happened with Professor La Vista. (Yes! I knew he has a good heart!) She hadn't been so sure of herself at first, whether or not she should talk to him about it. He had called her on the Sunday before she was leaving with Aziraphale to her parents' house. Gabriel had not forced her to say anything. He just informed her that if she needed support, he was there. She had eventually told him about everything, that she was genderfluid and what pronouns she was using. Besides thanking her for her trust, they had talked about the party and other things to pass the time. She hung up smiling. And to think that she had been jealous of Gabriel! Only slightly you know … She had totally forgotten to tell Aziraphale about their conversation. He had probably understood when he saw Gabriel’s texts.

She went to make herself a substantial breakfast, not having eaten a lot. She wanted some toast but that wouldn't be enough ... She went through her closets and opted for porridge with chocolate. Then, she called her mother. They had an ongoing debate about the new star wars movie when she heard a knock on the front door. After promising her mother to say hello to Aziraphale from her and her dad, she opened the door. Aziraphale entered with his hands full with shopping bags. He put them on the ground, taking off his shoes, before taking Raphaëlle in his arms and kissing her.

"Hello, darling, how are you feeling?" He had left his hand on her cheek and was caressing it gently. She loved that small gesture. 

"It's all right, angel. I'm feeling better." She smiled stupidly. She felt like she always smiled stupidly as soon as she was close to him. "Are you hungry? I was just thinking of making some croque monsieur, and a salad if that's okay with you." She kissed his lips before taking the bags and bringing them into the kitchen.

"It's perfect!”

Crowley prepared the sandwiches which was not a great culinary art, but they always turned out very good. She was going to do enough cooking this afternoon. She was planning on making a brownie and a salty pie. Nothing complicated but it was necessary to take the time to do it. Aziraphale was supposed to help her even though they both knew it was an excuse to spend time together. After finishing lunch and having a coffee for Raphaëlle and a tea for Aziraphale, she put on her apron. 

Having Aziraphale at her side was always pleasant. She had put him on brownie duty. He was currently at the step of melting the chocolate with the butter while she was making the pie dough. Both of them were discussing the papers they had had to grade. Crowley laughed at all the types of phrase that had deeply shocked Aziraphale. While they were preparing for the evening, she received a message confirming that her test results were available.

"Aziraphale, did you get your results from the laboratory?" Might as well talk about it now, it wasn't a last moment conversation. The latter was concentrated, mixing the dough for the brownie. 

"Yes, I received the message to retrieve them from the site. What about you?” 

"I just received it. I'll get my laptop so we can look at it." She went to get her computer from her room and came back to put it down on an almost clean spot in the kitchen. "It's always stressful even if, objectively, there's nothing to worry about. Do you want to start?”

After having kissed her on the cheek, Aziraphale retrieved his phone and entered the codes on the website. He had nothing. Then, Raphaëlle did the same and read that the results were negative. She breathed a sigh of relief.

"I'm glad I don't have to do this anymore!" she said "Are you good with the brownie angel?"

"I think so. Would you like to taste the dough, darling?" 

"Mmmmm mmmhh. »

Raphaëlle turned around and Aziraphale presented her the spatula with which he had stirred the cake. She looked him in the eye and noticed that there was something there. A kind of hunger that she understood. 

She had plans... She didn't want to throw them in the garbage, but the temptation was great. If they were too tired after the evening and she had to wait, once again, she would probably die of sexual frustration. She put her mouth around the spatula and let her lips slide on it.

"The dough tastes good." She tried to make her voice seductive. She wasn't sure if it worked very well. Was it even possible to say this sentence with a sensual voice ... She was not really sure. She giggled to cover her embarrassment.

"I'm glad to know I didn't mess it up, dear." He brought his lips closer to her own. "You have chocolate all over your lips.”

Raphaëlle was beginning to seriously wonder if they were in a romantic comedy cliché between the cooking and the chocolate on her lips that Aziraphale obviously had to remove with his mouth. There was no other alternative, right?

She didn’t have time to think about it. She crashed her lips against Aziraphale's and slipped her tongue into his mouth. Immediately, her partner parted his lips and she was able to run her tongue against his. The taste of their usual kiss also had a chocolate taste and it made it even more delicious. Raphaëlle could not help but move their lips faster. She had no desire to be subtle about her intentions and she trusted Aziraphale to tell her to stop if he didn't want to. 

The latter seemed to have no objection when he pushed Crowley against the dining table. With the solid table behind her, there was no room for retreat. Their hips met and, yes, they were definitely of the same mind. She put one of her hands in Aziraphale's hair and let the second one wander down to his lower back to bring him closer to her. The feeling of friction was intense, and she could not prevent a noise from escaping her throat.

They were in the kitchen. How were they going to get from the kitchen to the bedroom without having to separate? And they had to be mindful of Aziraphale's clothes if he wanted to look presentable tonight... No, she still had an iron! What about the brownies ... And the pie? Not a good time to put them in the oven otherwise in 20 minutes, she should come back and take them out. Fridge! She detached her lips from her partner who chased them and made her smile. She talked while kissing. 

"Aziraphale..." she started.

"Mmmmh" He understood that she had something to say and he lowered his lips to her neck and, oh someone, she wanted to get lost in that feeling.

"I have to... oh yes... put everything in the fridge before we start.”

 _Kiss_ "Start" _Kiss_ " What?" Like he was innocent with his lips right under her ear.

"Whatever we start, angel.”

She heard a sigh before Aziraphale detached himself from her. He waved at her not to move and took the two dishes and put them in the fridge before coming back, pressing himself against her again. As he stroked her cheek, he looked into her eyes. She felt like he was examining her soul every time he did this. That was obviously not true, but she always felt naked in front of that look, filled with both tenderness and hunger. She smiled at him.

"Bedroom?" she suggested.

"I thought you'd never propose it, dear girl." His tone was so calm, how did he do it? She was reassured when she saw a slight red on his cheeks. She kissed him quickly and took his hand. She thanked herself for making her bed before he arrived. As soon as she walked through the bedroom door, she started kissing him again.

"Just so you know, I had plans for tonight. Well, one plan, for after …” She said because she needed to calm down. He had started kissing her neck again, but this time he added his teeth, biting her gently at the carotid artery. She moaned slightly.

"What plan?" Apparently, the idea of kissing her was the thing that allowed Aziraphale not to do long sentences but to go to the essential. 

"Candles... lingerie... the whole thing..." Having her partner kissing her wherever her skin was reachable made conversation difficult. Breathing was getting difficult too. 

"No need for that." He lifted his head from her neck and looked at her. "You are perfect as you are." Of course, he had to make her blush, didn't he?! ***************

She didn't answer and instead started kissing him again. It was a good activity. Having as much contact as possible between them had become her priority and clothing, as a result, had been elevated to public enemy number one. They had to get rid of it. So, she started to untuck the shirt from Aziraphale's pants. Apparently, there was a t-shirt underneath. Then she went to his neck and pulled on the bow tie, throwing it as best she could at her dresser.

Her boyfriend didn't seem perfectly happy about it, but he soon forgot as she started unbuttoning his shirt and, together with the t-shirt, took it off over his head. Crowley admired the view, the blond hair all over his chest, the roundness of his belly, before pushing him against the edge of the bed which made him sit down. She took off her shirt while sitting on his thighs. She could feel him hard against her through their pants. She was barely on top of him when he put his lips on one of her nipples, circling it with his tongue. The noise she made was more like a scream than a moaning, but she was already too excited to care.

"Sensitive?" Aziraphale asked after passing what seemed to be ten minutes on her right nipple with his tongue while leaving a hand exploring her chest and belly, sometimes returning to the left nipple. 

"Very!" He put his tongue on the left one and she lost control of her hips which made sure to rub against his. Raphaëlle grabbed his chin and raised his head. She wanted to kiss him, she'd go crazy if she didn't kiss him now! Paradoxically, the kiss calmed her down and when they stopped, she wanted to get lost in Aziraphale's eyes. She was looking at him with eyes full of desire and love ... "Is that good, angel? What do you want? What do you like?” 

"Everything is perfect Raphaëlle and I have no idea. All I know is that I'd like to lie down with you, kiss you and preferably not have any clothes on to do it. The rest will come." He kissed her tenderly with his hand on her cheek. 

"Okay." She got up from where she was sitting. "Lie down Aziraphale." She decided that it was as good a time as any other to take off her pants since it had been difficult to put them on in the first place (like all her extra slim jeans). She then joined her partner who had done the same on the bed. They were both on their sides and looking at each other with a smile on their faces.

"Hey" whispered Aziraphale.

"Hi!" replied Raphaëlle. "Are you all right?"

"Just a little... You know. Stressed?" He had a slightly crooked smile that Crowley couldn't help but kiss.

"Don't be. It's just me.”

Before Aziraphale had time to answer, she claimed his mouth and let her hands run all over his body. All his skin was terribly soft. She wondered if it was really the thing to think about now when she had her high school love and fantasy and current partner at hand, literally. However, that was what her brain was focused on. She loved the feeling of his skin under her hand. And she loved having Aziraphale's hands on her even more. 

One of the advantages of not only growing old but also trusting her partner was that she felt free, free to show what she loved, free to moan as much as she wanted, free to laugh and talk because after all, that was a part sex too. When she passed her lips over Aziraphale's belly, she felt him laughing softly. She had tickled him with her mouth or maybe her hands. She made him stop by putting her hand on his hard cock, which made him pant slightly.

She had so much desire. The desire to give pleasure to Aziraphale struggled with her own selfish desire for pleasure in her head. Her body was on fire. Aziraphale rolled them over and he was on top of her. He pulled lightly at her underwear to ask permission and she nodded. He undressed her totally and did the same to himself. Then, he looked at her with so much hunger and tenderness that she wanted to hide or just devour him. Being naked against each other was so good. 

"You are so beautiful." He said before kissing her again. He took her in his hand and began stroking her. She moaned so loudly she wanted to say sorry but they were kissing and talking was useless. She did the same to him and stopped the kiss to see his face.

"Fuck, you're sexy." And he was so, very, very, sexy.

They kept stroking each other, looking into each other’s eyes, until he came first and she thought the moan escaping his lips was the sexiest sound she ever heard. Then, she came saying ( _screaming_ ) his name. She was covered with cum and it was sexy and disgusting and it turned her on and she loved it! They laughed about it cause, what else could they do?

Aziraphale took some tissues and wiped her. Then, they just talked and kissed before starting again, rutting against each other. This time, she was on top of him and it took more time for them to come. Her second orgasm was softer but lasted longer. ***************************

After spending what seemed like hours in Aziraphale's arms, Raphaëlle was pressed against him and gently stroked his face and upper body. They had fallen asleep after their second orgasm. They probably had to take a shower, but none of them seemed to want to move.

"Aziraphale," she whispered in his ear so as not to wake him up suddenly. "Are you asleep?”

"No, darling. I'm just enjoying this." He turned to her and kissed her. "We have to get up, don't we?” 

"Yes and check what time it is!”

"Don't you have a clock radio in your room?" Only he could have that kind of thought!

"No angel. Unlike some people, I have entered the 21st century and I use my phone as an alarm clock!" She looked to see if she had left it on her bedside table. "Definitely in the living room and no desire to go that far." She sighed before kissing Aziraphale quickly and she got up, remembering that she had absolutely not finished cooking. "I have to finish the dinner preparations! I'll wait for you in the shower." She felt Aziraphale's gaze on her when she recovered her dressing gown that she had left near her dresser. She turned around, winked at him and went to run the water.

After spending an unreasonable amount of time in the shower because of a blond guy who wouldn't stop kissing her and touching her in places far too pleasant (and no, that wasn't AT ALL what she wanted thank you very much), she put on her dressing gown and headed to the kitchen where she had left her phone and checked the time. 7:50 p. m... What? Where had time gone since Aziraphale arrived? Ah... Yes... Well...

So, the question was, what should be her priority? She could always finish cooking when they arrived. After all, there was enough to make an aperitif. However, drying her hair would take a long time. She went back to her bedroom half running to find her boyfriend who was getting dressed. The desire to fall back into bed was strong and apparently shared since, when Aziraphale saw her, he came to kiss her and gently shoved her against the wall.

"Angel! We have absolutely no time, they will arrive in ten minutes!" Her dressing gown had opened and Aziraphale was taking advantage of that. Of course, her body betrayer her. _Traitor!_

"Nonsense. It means I still have ten minutes to enjoy your beautiful body." She blushed. How could he say that without blinking?

"Please, Aziraphale. I don't want to spend my evening with an erection because we didn't have time to go through with it!" She pushed him away slightly against her own instincts. "And if we ruin your suit, you don't have a spare one here and I doubt you'll appreciate my clothing choices." She kissed him tenderly with a slight distance between them to, hopefully, calm her body down a little.

"Why didn't we decide to do something just the two of us again?" The frustration in her angel's voice made Raphaëlle smile.

"Because Anathema is the one who proposed this evening." She went to her closet and picked up the outfit she had picked with her friend and headed to the bathroom to start the difficult task of drying her hair. "As you will have finished before me, can you take care of putting everything in the oven?”

"Of course, darling. I'll finish up and go.”

Aziraphale went into the bathroom to kiss her on the neck before going to take care of everything. As Raphaëlle was putting on her make-up, she heard the front door opening and the voices of Gabriel and Anathema. She took the time to finish preparing herself, certain that Aziraphale would take care of welcoming them. When she was ready, she joined them in the living room. The wine and aperitifs were on the coffee table and the three of them talked happily.

"Sorry to appear only now, I had miscalculated my preparation time." She bent down to kiss Gabriel and then Anathema on the cheek. She also kissed Aziraphale. "Thank you angel for taking care of everything." The latter smiled at her and she sat down next to him.

"Do you feel better, Raphaelle? " Anathema asked. "I brought you a tonic and an infusion. I put them in your kitchen. The combination of both works wonders for me.”

"I'm better, thank you Ana! I'll have some later, I'm always tired and sore in my throat. »

"How was the Christmas holiday?" asked Aziraphale.

"Good! My family came to visit me from the United States. My mother would like to meet you all, of course." Anathema then began on a description of her Christmas, which was not quite Christmas. In her family, they celebrated the solstice that day (so a few days later after the real one) because when she was young, she had put pressure on her mother to celebrate Christmas. Raphaëlle really wanted to meet Anathema's family. Every time she talked about them, she felt more and more that she came from a family of strong women who were inspired by the witch's myths and reclaimed them. Once Anathema had finished, she turned to Gabriel. "What about you, Gab'?" Gab? They were calling each other nicknames now? They must have been closer than she thought.

"Nothing very special. The usual with family, cousins, aunts, uncles. Mass, dinner and gifts. And I still got the famous question: why am I still single? It's not my fault that the last interesting person I met preferred a redhead to me!" Aziraphale blushed slightly while Anathema and Raphaëlle laughed. “No really, it was all good.”

"The famous family question at Christmas!" added Raphaëlle. "I thought my mother would adopt Aziraphale right away because of how happy she was that I was bringing him home for Christmas.” She kissed him on the cheek.

"Oh and we met my mother while we were at Raphaelle's!" said Aziraphale. The information caused a sensation among Anathema and Gabriel, who both knew that Aziraphale was not talking to his parents. Crowley listened to him recount their chance meeting and was reassured to see that the event was definitively a non-event for her boyfriend. She took a sip of wine before hearing the oven beep to remind her to take the baked goods out. She got up apologizing and was followed by Anathema who wanted to help.

Once in the kitchen, she took out the brownies and after putting them on the table to cool, noticed that Anathema had a big ‘I know what you did’ smile.

"What?" Raphaëlle asked, looking up. "You want to talk about my sex life, don't you?"

"Mmmm mmmh madam 'sorry I didn't calculate my time well to prepare myself.' Such obvious bullshit." Really, it was impossible to hide something from her. "So? I thought you had plans for after the party!"

"So? I adapted my plans.”

"You were alone, you kissed and it got out of hand?" She was so frustrating when she understood everything!

"Yep..."

"I knew it!" Anathema laughed. "I want details later!”

"Isn't it weird to want to know how one of your closest friends is in bed?" Raphaëlle asked the question but already knew the answer.

"Absolutely not! Do you have a beer? I really prefer beer to wine!”

"I know I bought some for you. Fridge!”

"Thank you Raph', you're the best!”

Anathema got her beer and they both joined Gabriel and Aziraphale in the living room. They were discussing the books they had gotten for Christmas... Classic for literature teachers.

"Oh, I didn't tell you..." Gabriel began. "No, I didn’t, I was waiting for tonight to tell you about it! My ex sent me a message for Christmas. We talked a little bit through messages and then we called each other and they wants us to have coffee after the holidays”

"Wait wait wait wait wait, what ex?" Anathema asked.

"Gabriel's ex love who works in the same department as Crowley." replied Aziraphale. "Are you finally going to tell us who they are or do you want to remain mysterious?”

"Yep _Gab'_. We want to know. We want details!” added Raphaëlle more to tease him than anything else.

"Okay, okay, I'll tell you! My ex is Belle."

"Your ex is the head of my department? Noooooooooooooo!" commented Raphaëlle.

"I would never have guessed, I was convinced that they were from our department.” Aziraphale said it looking at Raphaëlle. They both had lot the bet. "And so, are you going to go?"

"I don't know yet. We didn't end up on very good terms and largely because of me. It seems to be the right thing to do to accept.”

"If only it could calm people's minds about the war between the literature department and the science department!" They all turned to Anathema. "What? I guess that's why I can't have a science room when I need to catch up on a class and all our rooms are already booked!" 

"Yes, it's because of our relationship, mostly." Gabriel looked sad or melancholic and Raphaëlle didn't like to see him like that.

"You should talk to them, Gabriel." she advised him. "It won't hurt even without taking the university into account! It’s important not to leave past events without explanation." She turned to Aziraphale and smiled at him." Sometimes it can even have very positive consequences.”

"You're right. I'll call them tomorrow to set a date and clear the air between us." concluded Gabriel.

After that, the evening drifted on with several topics of conversation. What had happened at the university's Christmas party was also discussed.

"Fortunately, President Dieu was there." Anathema remarked. "If it had only been you, it would have been your word against theirs, and only if you chose to say anything. Do you think they will be suspended ?”

"I have no idea." And Raphaëlle really had no idea. They could be suspended but the President could also decide to sweep everything under the carpet if she had changed her mind in the meantime. "I would just like to be sure that this doesn't happen between teachers again but, more importantly, also not between students. Sometimes I think that an association could be the solution. I don't know if we, as professors, can found one with the students..." 

"I could check it out if you want. I am a member of the Committee on Education and University(*) and we are the ones who give the budget for associations, someone must know.” 

"That would be great, Gabriel! But how many committees do you sit on?”

"Too many for my own good, but you should be interested in university politics as much as I am! And that means being on committees !" Gabriel replied. 

"No thanks, otherwise, I wouldn't have time to read all the books I want!" exclaimed Aziraphale, making Anathema laugh as she drank her beer and choked halfway as she tried to swallow it. Gabriel and Raphaëlle could not help laughing when she coughed.

"Traitors, all of you!" said Anathema.

The evening continued. A lot of alcohol was consumed and fortunately, Gabriel and Anathema had come by public transport. The four of them sat down at the dining table to eat the pie Raphaëlle had prepared with a mixed salad. The effect of the alcohol was pleasant and Raphaëlle felt perfectly at home in the middle of this group. She would send messages tomorrow to her group of friends at the university (from the time when she was a student). She still loved them, but they had been more companions of drinking through the stress. Since they had left each other, she had only spoken to them by messages and quickly. She was sure to have a message from Lucie tomorrow, as she did every year since they had broken up and as every year, she would ignore this message, probably too busy with Aziraphale this time ...

The cake was a success! About ten minutes before midnight, she went to collect the flutes and champagne so that they could uncork it on time. Gabriel did the honor of opening it while they all screamed, "HAPPY NEW YEAR" at midnight. They all hugged each other, except Aziraphale, who kissed Raphaëlle full on the mouth to the point that Anathema cleared her throat so that they would stop kissing. Crowley and her partner blushed while Gabriel and Anathema burst out laughing at seeing them embarrassed. 

They sipped all their champagnes and Aziraphale, followed by Gabriel, took another slice of cake. They all sat around the coffee table again, eating and drinking, discussing everything they had found funny in the last papers they had graded. With a few drinks, really, everything was very funny even if Raphaëlle's anecdotes were much less fun than those of the literary people around her. When Anathema started yawning, Gabriel ordered them a taxi. 

"Thank you for the evening, Raphaëlle." Anathema gave her a big hug, the kind of hug that alcoholic and tired people give. "And thank you also, Aziraphale.”

"It was a pleasure to have you both." Raphaëlle squeezed her before releasing to also get a hug from Gabriel. 

"Enjoy the last days of freedom!" Gabriel added before taking Anathema by the arm and going out.

"Be careful when you get home!" Aziraphale told them as he put his head in the hallway to see them rush into the elevator. He closed the door before turning to Raphaëlle. "So, where were we?"

Five minutes later, they were both naked on the couch. The dishes could wait.

(*) In french university we have a committee which is called: commission à la formation et la vie universitaire, literally : Committee for formation and university life. They made a lot of decisions regarding the university and then the administration council votes on them to be realized

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the elevator with Anathema and Gabriel : 
> 
> "My place?" asked Anathema with, what she thought was a seductive voice, but really sounded like a drunken one.  
> "We are too drunk and I'm very big on consent."  
> "Too bad, maybe next time." She put a peck on his lips anyway. "You really are a good guy Gab' ..."
> 
> \-------------
> 
> Thanks for reading <3 Please share you thoughts with me *.*


	21. Yoga pants are sexy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yoga pants, president's office and a new knowledge.
> 
> TW: embyphobia (regarding the event with professor La Vista)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To my amazing proof reader [@Lovethistoomuch](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lovethistoomuch/pseuds/Lovethistoomuch). This story is so much better because of you <3
> 
> Hey guys, I hope you are well. Enjoy this new chapter <3

Waking up with Aziraphale was an experience that Crowley hoped to never get tired of. Her angel was a real radiator and her bed had never been so perfect. She also loved being able to snuggle up close to him and go back to sleep. So, for her first morning of the new year, that was what she did. If her boyfriend wasn't awake, she didn't need to be awake either.

A few minutes later, when sleep had not returned. She tried to kiss Aziraphale gently, on his shoulder, his biceps, his cheek. The latter turned in the bed and growled. Message received! He apparently had no desire to move at the moment. Knowing him, a breakfast would motivate him, wouldn't it? Certainly … There was still some cake from the previous day but Raphaëlle wanted to do something special. After so many orgasms in such a short time, she was hungry! Leaving a last kiss on the blond man's shoulder, she got up and put on her dressing gown.

She started by collecting all the dishes and putting them in the dishwasher. Thanks to the someone who invented this lifesaver. Fortunately, the night before, when Anathema and Gabriel had already left and after they had moved over to the couch (meaning that Aziraphale had done absolutely indecent things with his mouth to her), they had had enough brains left to put the food away. The dinner had really been a success and she was really happy about it. For now, the question was: breakfast or brunch? A glance at her cell phone would let her know what time it was and she could improvise.

Her phone had several notifications. Most of her university friends had sent her a phony message for the new year. She really wondered why they were still bothering when they hadn't seen each other for so long. She didn’t like half friendships. She replied all the same. Gabriel and Anathema had sent messages on their joint conversation to thank her again for the evening and for inviting them. She had a message from Anathema only telling her to call her as soon as possible to organize an afternoon together because she had not finished asking for information. Her parents had left her a voicemail message and her mother had written to her with far too many emojis for someone of her age. Finally, a message from Lucie that she swiped away without reading.

After putting on some music from her phone (which was not Queen), she poured coffee and decided what she would make: pancakes, scrambled eggs and the rest of the pie. Perhaps Aziraphale would like a hot chocolate, or would he prefer a tea? While preparing the brunch, she let her thoughts pass freely.

First, she would have to call her mother. She had to tell her about the evening she had spent. Raphaëlle knew she was one of those strange people who literally told one of their relatives everything, but she wasn't bothered by that thought. Maybe she should talk to her about Lucie's message too, or talk to Aziraphale about it. It was a non-event every year but she didn't like it. Or she could simply block their number. That's what she would do. Oh, and then, Anathema! She wondered if there was anything between her and Gabriel. The two seemed to be close. They must have been friends now, but she had felt something in the air. Or maybe she had confused her own desire to tear off Aziraphale's clothes for sexual tension between them. She had probably imagined it...

When everything was ready, she placed two plates, full to the brim with food, on the table and headed to her room. Aziraphale was no longer in bed but she heard the shower running. She pondered if she should join him, but she was sure that if she did, by the time she got back, their plates would be cold. So, she went back into the kitchen, had another coffee and sat down to answer all the New Year messages. When she saw Aziraphale at the entrance of the kitchen moving towards her, she smiled.

"Happy New Year, darling." he said as he entered and walked towards her before kissing her. He took her chin to bend her head and have access to her lips with such tenderness that Raphaëlle could not help but feel special. "Thank you for doing all this, you should have waited for me, I would have helped you." He put his hand through the redhead's hair. Was it possible to be more of a domestic cliché?

"It's nothing, angel!" She moved her hand as if to show that, _pfff, no really it was nothing_. It was most likely something. Aziraphale served the tea and sat down in front of her. After tasting a piece of pancake, he made a noise that sent Raphaëlle back to the day before. "Mmmmh, I've never tasted a pancake like this! How do you make them so soft?”

"It's a secret!" She winked at him and sipped her coffee. It was not a real secret but a pancake recipe she had gotten from a vegan friend of hers from University. She had never tasted better pancakes than hers thanks to the silky tofu. "I hate New Year's Day for that." She waved her phone in her hand. "Why do people that we don’t talk to always send us a ‘happy New Year’ just because we are still in their contacts.”

"I know." Aziraphale took time to answer too busy to devour his plate. "I think the worst thing is the exes who send messages..." Raphaëlle raised an eyebrow and Aziraphale resumed. "It happens. Sometimes, my family does it too, apart from my parents. I really don't understand them.”

"Seriously? Your family is really strange, angel." She finished typing the answers and decided to call her parents. "I'm going to call my family before I look like an ungrateful girl!”

The call with her parents was pleasant. Raphaëlle and her mother put their phones on speaker so that her father and Aziraphale could talk with them. The formalities were exchanged, 'happy new year's ,wishes for health, before talking about their respective evenings. Raphaëlle hung up the phone, promising her parents that they would come to see them soon, or at least as soon as possible.

After finishing their lunch, Raphaëlle remembered that it might be time to get dressed and went to get ready. She wanted to wear what she usually wore when she was alone at home: yoga pants and a t-shirt. However, Aziraphale was there and she didn't feel sexy enough in these clothes. Not that she was hoping for something, but it was more likely to happen if she wore nice clothes... Arf, the beginning of a relationship was really too much effort. She was in a hurry to get it over with. The best way to overcome this initial phase was to just act as if they had passed it already, so she decided to put on her yoga leggings and tank top.

She joined Aziraphale, who was much more proper than she was. She hadn’t notice during brunch … He was wearing the same pants as the day before and a shirt open on the first buttons. It was a bad idea, wasn't it? She was going to leave the room to change again but first she went to the library in her living room where she was sure she had left an elastic band for her hair. After making a quick bun, she turned around and saw that Aziraphale was looking at her intensely.

"What's the matter?" She didn't understand that look and she hated not understanding.

"Absolutely nothing, dear. It's just the first time I've seen you like this.” Why was he looking shy about this ?

"Like what?”

"You know... With this kind of pants. The relax type …" With this kind of? What? Raphaëlle tried to understand his gaze once more and. Ooohhh!

"Do you like this outfit?" Aziraphale's slight corner smile answered in his place. "Angel, are you telling me that you actually prefer simple yoga pants and a tank top to my other outfits?" She went to sit beside him and spread out her legs so that they were lying on his.

"I will not affirm nor deny this statement " His eyes said much more. Raphaëlle didn't need an answer. She moved to put her arms around him and her head against his shoulder.

"You're weird angel." She raised her head to kiss him. "Would you like to watch a movie? Something light? Harry Potter?”

"I've never seen it before. I don't even remember if I read the book. It's not my favorite kind of literature, I must admit.” Of course, the bookworm, literature professor would think about the book like this …

"Angel, if you go into a speech about J.K. Rowling's literary or non-literary merits, I'd have to kiss you to shut you up. You have to read it. It’s an absolute masterpiece and you can’t judge a book by the cover” She grinned at him. She was very proud of that one. “I have them all, you can take them. And I want to see Harry Potter again!”

"All right, darling, I promise I’ll read them!” He kissed her on her forehead.

She turned the TV on and started the film, glued against Aziraphale. She wondered, in the back of her head, if this could become her life.

\-----

The holidays had gone by far too quickly and Raphaëlle was back at university. In fact, she had returned to her laboratory on January 2nd, but it was not the same when the students were not present on campus. She had handed in her graded exams to the pedagogical secretariats of the years in which she was teaching by Monday. Classes only resumed two weeks later and she still had one of her presentations to finish.

On Wednesday, she received a message from the President, informing her that she wanted to see her in her office to discuss what they should do about Professor La Vista. So, on Friday, Crowley found herself on the presidency level, waiting for her appointment. A redheaded woman wearing extravagant colors came to see her.

"Hello sweety, would you like some coffee or tea in the meantime? I think the President is late." She had a soft and pleasant voice. Raphaëlle was sure she had seen her at the presentation meeting, but she was unable to remember her first name.

"I'd like a coffee if you don't mind, madam..." She was hoping the woman in front of her would understand.

"Mrs. Tracy! I'll bring this back to you right away." She brought the coffee back and sat next to her. "Are you all right?”

"Oh um, yes, thank you. Why?"

"I heard what happened, you know, as the President's secretary. I just wanted to make sure you were fine. I hope I didn't cross the line!”

"No, no, no, don't worry." Raphaëlle tried to look at her with a calm that she didn't have because she was going to have an appointment with the President. "That's very kind of you, thank you. I'm fine.”

"I am reassured then." Madame Tracy slapped her hand in a supportive manner. "I'll leave you. If you need anything, I'll be in my office.”

"Thank you, Mrs. Tracy. And thanks for the coffee." What more could she have said after all?

She continued to wait for Professor Dieu who arrived about twenty minutes later while apologizing sincerely. She had had a meeting in another institution in the morning and, like all meetings in the academic sector, it had finished horribly late. When Raphaëlle sat down, she hated the feeling of being in the principal's office when she had done nothing wrong. She knew it wasn't like that, but it was difficult to get rid of that feeling by using objective reasoning.

"Well, I'll be honest with you, Professor." Raphaëlle loved this woman, just her way of being and carrying power. "You can ask for absolutely anything you want from Professor La Vista because you have a witness. I will not hide the fact from you that this case would require a visit to the disciplinary commission. It would have to be held in my absence because I would be a witness." Crowley hated everything about this meeting. She didn’t feel good. "So you will have to expose yourself and you may have a problem with that, which I understand, but we can limit exposure. The commission can be comprised only of your department head and one other colleague I may designate. The reasons for the decision can remain secret and your colleagues will be required to not talk about it.”

It was a good option. Crowley would not have to do something she wasn't ready to do yet. La Vista would probably not be fired, but he would at least be temporarily suspended. She didn't want to alienate her department, but she felt it was her duty to do something. This kind of behavior could not be excused too easily when it was serious and hurtful.

"To me, the commission seems to be a good thing, Madam President. However, I thought that perhaps actions on campus could also be carried out. An open letter, an association, a real and inclusive policy? Something that makes a difference.”

The President seemed to be thinking. "You're right. We would need to have specific ideas and we could discuss them with the board of directors and with elected representatives in the council of student life. Would you think about how to best achieve it and come back to me on this?”

"If it helps you, Madam President." She really hoped not to have to put herself forward, regarding this issue. Staying in the shadows suited her very well

"You would be a great help to me, Professor. I would not want to do something that, in the end, is totally unsuitable for the people concerned. If that's all right with you, we can leave it at that. I will contact you shortly for the disciplinary commission." She got up and Crowley did the same. Together they headed for the door. "I am delighted with your recruitment and I hope this incident will not make you want to leave.”

"Thank you and no, don't worry. I have already established strong links with this university." She was obviously thinking of her students but especially of her friends, and, of course, Aziraphale.

"I imagine." What did she mean, she imagined... Professor Dieu shook her hand. "I'll keep in touch with you, Professor Crowley. Thank you for coming in.”

Raphaëlle left the President's office and suddenly felt very weak. She hated it, having to go through this because people were stupid enough to talk about her without thinking about the consequences. All of them, ignorant. Habit didn't make things any easier for her. At least she was sure that a procedure would follow its course, which was more than she had ever had before. If there were repercussions, she could take them. She wasn't alone after all. She had never been alone thanks to her parents,but having her colleagues and friends on her side would be important.

After looking at the time, she sent a message to Aziraphale to let him know that she was going home. She would have liked to talk to Gabriel or Anathema but all three were in meetings for their departments. Seriously, did they need to have so many meetings to agree on something? Didn't they know about emails? Seriously, the one time you need them they were not available!

After returning home, Crowley decided to call her mother. She needed to talk to someone and the person she desperately wanted to talk to was not available at the moment. Her mother would be if she was lucky.

"Hello, Mommy! »

_"Hello, darling, how are you? How was your meeting with the President of your university?”_

"That went pretty well. There's going to be a disciplinary commission, so I'm pretty happy. Not the best work best thing to look forward to but anyway, I didn't think it would be taken so seriously, you know?”

" _It's a good thing it's taken seriously! It is the minimum to have a disciplinary sanction for that.”_

"Yes, you're right. Just, I didn't think it would happen. Oh, by the way, I blocked Lucie's number, it's done!”

_"After all these years, I don't understand why you didn't do it before..."_

"I didn't feel the need." Raphaëlle heard a beep in her phone characteristic of a double call. "Mom, I'll call you back! Aziraphale’s calling me.”

_"Bye pumpkin. I love you.”_

"Me too, Mom. "She picked up for Aziraphale. "Hey angel!”

_"I just finished my meeting darling. How was yours with the President ? »_

"It was fine. I'll tell you about it when I see you. Do you want to come by tonight? Or I can come to your place?”

" _Well..."_ The phone made a strange noise and she heard a female voice. _"Hey Crowley.”_

"Anathema, you shouldn't steal my boyfriend's phone like that!" Really, this woman was incredible and Raphaëlle loved her.

_"He will recover even if he shoots me with his blue eyes. Are you coming to drink with us?"_ It was a false question and Crowley knew it. She wasn't going to fall into his trap.

"Do you think I want to hang out with literary witches?" Their verbal jousting was surely one of Raphaëlle's favorite things about their friendship.

_"Knowing that you will one day be married to one, yes."_ Fortunately, at that time, Crowley didn't have any liquid in her mouth or she would have spit it out. _"You should see Aziraphale's head now seriously. It's hilarious!”_

"Anathema, shut up!" Seriously, who was bold enough to say that kind of thing? Anathema of course! Didn’t she realized that they hadn't even said ‘I love you’ yet ? That they were even far away from that? Well, not that far for Crowley, but she wasn't sure she could say it first. "Send me the address of the bar, I'll be there soon.”

_"Perfect, I'll give your lover his phone back."_ Raphaëlle was going to give her a hard time when she saw her. _"I'm sorry, darling. Anathema took the phone out of my hands, I had no choice.”_

"I know, angel. I told her I'd join you. See you in a few minutes!”

_"Mind as you go, dear.”_

After hanging up, Raphaëlle changed from her costume to a black dress and tied her hair into a ponytail. She was exhausted and didn't really want to go out, but she knew that seeing her friends would be better than locking herself in her house. She told her mother that she would not call her back tonight and left to join her partner and friends.

When she arrived, she spotted the blond head that stood out from the crowd. Aziraphale really looked like an angel with a halo of almost white hair. Gabriel and Anathema were both present and no other members of their department were in sight so she headed towards them. When she sat down next to Aziraphale, he put his arms around her waist and kissed her on the cheek as a welcome. They had seen each other that morning, but she still felt herself blushing at these signs of affection.

They first talked about her meeting with the President, as it was a rare event. Very quickly, they moved on to something else. Raphaëlle no longer wanted to talk about this. She felt completely drained and wanted only positive things right now. Contrary to her usual behavior, she was rather discreet during the evening. She watched her friends interact and felt privileged to be able to share these moments with them. Above all, she observed Aziraphale.

He wore his stupid bow tie, with his stupid tartan pattern, with his anything but stupid smile. He spoke about something passionately, surely a book, and his whole being radiated with joy. Under his clothes, Raphaëlle recognized his body in a new way after studying it for several nights in a row: the softness of his skin, the roundness of his stomach, the muscles in his arms. Under the table, he had taken her hand and stroked hers with his thumb. He sometimes dropped it, when he was too excited. He tended to use his hands to talk. Throughout the evening, he came back to putting his hand in Crowley's and every time she marveled at it. She also liked to see how Gabriel and Anathema were fascinated by what Aziraphale was saying.

If you have already fallen in love once, you may have experienced this. In the movies, heroes realize that they are in love after a big act like the saving of books or a tragic event like a fire. Sometimes, of course, this happens in real life. A great romantic gesture and BAM! you know. Sometimes, maybe even most of the time, it's nothing at all, a caress, a laugh, a little attention. Suddenly, you realize, you know. You love him.

It was that evening, after a somewhat rotten day, in an unknown bar, with her friends, that Raphaëlle realized. She went from the' I think' stage to the 'I know' stage. What had happened you'll wonder? Nothing. And that was the most beautiful thing. Aziraphale was holding her hand under the table. They were all laughing at a joke Anathema had told. Aziraphale had turned to Raphaëlle and smiled at her as he did every day. He then turned his eyes to Gabriel who was talking about something.

Just as he was turning around, Raphaëlle felt a pinch in her chest. She felt like she was waking up. That's when she knew. And you can't come back from knowledge.

_Oh fuck, I'm definitely in love with Aziraphale._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and your endless support with kudos and comments. <3


	22. Saying 'I love you' is harder than you think

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sex, misunderstanding, love and sex. 
> 
> No TW. 
> 
> Explicit sexual content

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has been updated <3 Thanks to my wondeful @Lovethistoomuch Thanks for your comments and kudos.
> 
> I have an other AU right here if you want to check it :D : [The Ineffable Love Agency of Anathema Device](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21532894/chapters/51329332)
> 
> Would you be interested in a Christmas episode outside the story but with them ? <3

Valentine's Day was approaching and Aziraphale was still facing the same problem: confessing his feelings to Raphaëlle. He realized how much he loved Crowley when he bought his Valentine's Day gift : one weekend in Paris, following the conference he was scheduled to attend as a presenter at ‘la Sorbonne Nouvelle’ in May. Considering all the possibilities of romantic escapades, the French capital had been the best way for him to move from ‘I think’ to ‘I'm sure’. Above all, Aziraphale had ended up wondering if it was too much for Valentine's Day. As he was aware, not all people liked this holiday. He was on the side of people thinking that playing the game would make for an interesting evening... But, he didn’t know what Raphaëlle thought about it.

After his own personal revelation, the blond also wondered when the right time would be to admit his feelings. He didn't think he would be rejected and, even if Crowley wasn't there yet, he could wait and be an adult about it. Saying ‘I love you’ for the first time on Valentine's Day might be a little too cliché, especially with tickets to Paris ... Then again, he only had two weeks left if he wanted to do it before Valentine’s day. So, no pressure...

Worrying was useless. Aziraphale was confident that this would happen very naturally, though. He had no idea how wrong he was going to be.

The first time he almost said it, Raphaëlle was fucking him hard. Every time she slammed back, her cock hit his sweet spot. She was beautiful and sexy. Her hairs were falling on his face while she looked at him with a mix of rapture and tenderness in her eyes. Aziraphale was taken by surprise when he came but the orgasm was perfect: hard and long. He cried her name and stopped just before saying the ‘L' word because, no, saying ‘I love you' just after an orgasm, as perfect as it was, was definitely not the right time. After she came too, they exchanged sweet kisses and went to the shower together. Then, they went back to bed.

"Angel, do you know what you want to do for Valentine's Day?" Raphaelle asked, her head resting against Aziraphale's shoulder.

"I was just going to ask you about it tonight or tomorrow, darling. I have no plans at the moment. Do you want to do something?”

"Do you mind if we do nothing in particular?" His girlfriend's voice had decreased in volume, which worried Aziraphale. He took Crowley's chin in his hand and made her look up at him.

"It doesn't bother me at all, Raphaëlle, but something seems to bother _you_." He let his hand caress her neck.

"I'm not a big fan of this holiday and even less of going out to dinner during the evening. For me, the ideal Valentine's Day evening can be summed up in three words: Pizza, beer and sex!" Aziraphale laughed but felt that there had to be something more.

"If you let me replace beer with wine for me, I totally agree with this evening." He kissed her tenderly on the lips. "Are you sure that's all there is behind this request, dear?" He felt Raphaëlle hugging him a little more against her.

"I've had a bad Valentine's night once and since then I'd rather not go out but instead do something casual." She had hidden her face in the blond's neck again.

Aziraphale knew her well enough to know that she wouldn't say more and started stroking her hair. This simple gesture could have two outcomes: to put his partner to sleep almost instantly or, on the contrary, to make her want to fuck again. That evening, the first option applied and she fell asleep on his shoulder. Aziraphale loved it. He could ask her later.

The second time he almost let the three magic words escape was three days later. After spending a few moments together in his office, they were late for their respective classes. That very morning, Aziraphale had woken? up/awoken to a text message from his boyfriend telling him he was using he/his pronouns and he felt a wave of emotions to be so close with him. Fortunately, he had been able to control himself once Crowley had been in front of him. They had discussed the idea of going to the movies the same evening or the next day. Aziraphale had finally checked his pocket watch and they both realized they were going to be late if they didn't move immediately.

"Crowley, we're going to be late!" Aziraphale had jumped up from the couch on which he was sitting next to Anthony and had begun to collect the papers for his class.

"Relax angel. I'm sure you're overreacting. For you, five minutes early is already being late." Once, the blond had been frantically urging Crowley on to hurry when they, according to him, had only ten minutes left. But it was calculate in a way that they were going to be five minutes early and, as a result, Anthony hadn't moved at all and was finishing his coffee quietly.

"It's 2:29 p. m..." Aziraphale was not someone who arrived late for his class but his classroom was three minutes away from his office and it was supposed to start at half past two. Just like Anthony's class over in the Experimental Sciences Building.

"And? You'll be late by not even five minutes... Relax a little angel." Aziraphale waited for Anthony by the door. The redhead wore his hair in a half-bun and if the literature teacher was honest with himself, it was probably his favorite hairstyle. Between his hair, the glasses he had decided to wear today, and his clothes, Anthony looked a little like a bad boy which had given Aziraphale some indecent images about all the things they could do in his office. "Your students can wait..." Anthony whispered, closing the space between him and his boyfriend, his mouth against the other man's ear before starting to kiss him on the neck.

Aziraphale had to get out of the situation before his body had time to betray him. "Anthony!” He pushed Crowley away slightly to open the door. "We're going!" Seeing Anthony's proud smile, he gave him a quick kiss on the mouth. "You'll pay for this, you know?”

"I can't wait." Crowley replied always with his big smile on his lips.

"Mmmm. We'll see about that..." He kissed him on the lips again. "I'm going to go. If you wish to arrive even later, it is your choice. See you later, darling, I l..." Aziraphale stopped before saying more and left quickly to join his class. He heard Anthony call out to him as he was about to enter another corridor but, deciding that he didn't have time, he only turned quickly to wave at him with his hand, meaning sorry. Fortunately, when their movie date arrived, Crowley did not mention it.

The problem after that was that Aziraphale failed to say it countless times and for the smallest things. In one week, he almost said it after Anthony brought him tea in the morning, every time they separated for a few hours, twice during sex, and once after a particularly unfunny joke he told his boyfriend who pretended to laugh because he was like that.

That was how Valentine's Day came about. Aziraphale had almost confessed his feelings countless times, each more inopportune than the next. What better way to put all the cards on the table than this romantic celebration? Except that his boyfriend had been very clear that he wanted something totally casual. Arriving with tickets to Paris and a declaration of love was absolutely not what Anthony wanted and Aziraphale didn't want to impose anything on him.

The day of lovers arrived, on February 14, as everyone knew, and, with great luck, on a Saturday that year. Aziraphale almost sent a message to Crowley wishing him a happy Valentine's Day with a few hearts before changing his mind: he was no longer sixteen years old and he was not sure how high Crowley's threshold against doing anything for Valentine's Day actually was. He wasn't even sure if there was any prohibition against anything romantic in the first place. In retrospect, he should have pushed his partner a little harder to know what he was expecting from him. It felt like sailing in the dark and he hated it.

If necessary, he'd discuss it tonight with Anthony. They had a date around 19:30 at his boyfriend's. So, he was probably going to stress all day, for nothing. After finishing grading papers, he received a call from Crowley.

"Hello darling. Is everything all right? Do you need something for tonight?"

_"Hey angel! Everything is all right. Just calling to remind you that you're in charge of the wine tonight. You asked me to do it.”_

"I hadn't forgotten, but thank you for reminding me. I'm going to go out and buy some soon. You don't need anything else?"

_"Apart from your presence, nothing at all angel.”_

"Are you flirting Anthony?"

_"Yep! Always! I'm setting the mood for tonight... I have to go. I need some groceries. See you tonight, Aziraphale."_

"See you later, my dear."

After this conversation, Aziraphale was none the wiser about what was waiting for him that evening. He decided to go down into to the cellar to clear his mind. After his walk down and then back with his bottles of wine, nothing had changed except that he had decided to let it go. He would improvise and everything would go well because it was his first Valentine's Day with Crowley. He didn't need anything more than pizza, wine and sex. He will bring the subject later in march.

After redoing his bow tie ten times, Aziraphale arrived at Crowley's apartment with a bouquet of flowers in orange tones. He had gone out again in the afternoon after deciding that flowers were a minimum for him. He had lined up longer than he was proud of in front of the florist and had no idea what the flowers meant but the bouquet was in harmony with Anthony's hair and that's what counted.

The latter opened the door with a tender smile that widened when he saw the flowers. As usual, he wore tight black jeans, but also a red shirt and a black slim-fitted suit jacket that suited him perfectly. His hair was tied in a ponytail highlighting the structure of his cheeks and his tattoo.

"Oh angel, you shouldn't have! Thank you, They're perfect." He bent over to kiss Aziraphale who wondered how he had gotten there and thanked God for that. Crowley took the bouquet from his hands and waved at him to follow him.

"I am very happy that you like them, I didn't know if they would be welcome.” As soon as he had finished his sentence, Aziraphale realized what he had said and that he should have worded this differently.

"What do you mean, you didn't think they would be welcome?" Anthony asked as he filled the vase he had found.

"Hmm..." _Seriously Aziraphale, you had to start the evening that way_. "After what you told me or rather what you didn't tell me about Valentine's Day, I didn't want to do more than what you would feel comfortable with..." The blond man rubbed his hands together to relax himself. He couldn't see Crowley's face as he was turning his back on him when he filled the vase. The redhead, after putting the flowers in the water, turned around.

"Oh angel no!” Anthony took Aziraphale's hands in his own. "It's not that I didn't want to celebrate Valentine's Day, damn it. Maybe that's what I wanted. But that's not what I want. I'm happy to spend an evening like this with you. I just didn't want there to be any pressure for it to be more than that. Do you understand?" He kissed the blond man's hands. "I'm sorry, angel, if you thought you couldn't do something tonight. Of course, I want a romantic night with you. I love you and I can't think of a better person to spend Valentine's night with. I made pizza and, yeah we can have sex, cause you are hot as hell but we can do whatever we want, and why the fuck are you staring at me with this face?"

Aziraphale had no idea what he looked like now. He just felt that he had a smile that almost hurt and that he was squeezing Anthony's hands. When he noticed Crowley's panicked look, he began to laugh nervously. Well, that was absolutely not the way he predicted it would happen, but...

"I love you too." he simply stated. Wow! Finally saying aloud the words he had kept so carefully hidden for weeks was doing a lot of good. He didn't expect Crowley to look at him even more shocked and panicked.

"What?!?" What did he mean 'what'? Why was Crowley saying what? Oh no, he didn't mean it. He didn't want to say it, did he? Why did Aziraphale say that? Oh, what the hell. He said it once, he wasn’t going to take it back.

"Anthony Raphaëlle J. Crowley, I'm in love with you." Then, to support his statement, Aziraphale tenderly kissed him. When he backed away, Anthony smiled.

"So, let me get this straight... The big thing I wanted to tell you later tonight after romancing the shit out of you, I told you two minutes ago because I panicked and I didn't even realize it." Aziraphale nodded while surely still smiling stupidly. "Fuck me! I have flowers, a decadent chocolate cake, a speech and I let out the main information of the evening literally two minutes after you arrived. That's pathetic.”

"Anthony, I forbid you to think that! I am so happy to finally be able to say it too. I-love-you." Both of them were still standing in front of the sink in Crowley's kitchen. It certainly wasn't the place Anthony or Aziraphale had intended for it to happen, but in the end, no place was perfect. Aziraphale gently stroked Crowley's cheek.

"I love you, angel." He began to laugh nervously. "Wow. It's so good to say it. I almost told you almost every day in the last few weeks!" Aziraphale looked at him with big eyes.

"I almost told you every day for the last few weeks, too. "He kissed Crowley on the cheek he wasn't caressing. "We're a little stupid, aren't we?”

"You can say a lot, even. My angel..."

The possessive in front of his nickname made Aziraphale shudder but he didn’t have time to think about it because Anthony had decided to kiss him fiercely. Aziraphale opened his mouth immediately to let Anthony pass his tongue against his own. He felt Anthony pressing his body against him and immediately, he moved his hips against those of his partner. He wanted to hear Crowley whisper "my angel" in ecstasy.

“My love …” Wow, talking was harder than he thought it would be. “Do you think we can skip” He couldn’t finish his sentence because Crowley had decided to start kissing him on his neck.

“Yes” Anthony replied. “Bedroom?”

Aziraphale nodded but they didn’t make to the bedroom. As soon as he saw the couch, he pushed Anthony against it and claimed his lips once again. He was burning. He wanted to mark Crowley’s skin with his love, to make love and to fuck him again and again, saying ‘I love you’ every time he wanted now that he could do it.

He just opened Crowley’s shirt and pushed his boyfriend’s pants down a little bit before taking him in his mouth. The ‘Aziraphale’ Crowley moaned was the blond's favorite sound. He tortured his lover (yes, lover) a little with his tongue. They had just started having sex the month before, but they were quite enthusiast about it. Aziraphale knew that he drove Crowley crazy when he used only the tip of his tongue to trace a line on Anthony’s cock. He did it before taking him fully in his mouth and then, started again with only a little bit of tongue. Soon, Anthony was a panting mess.

“Angel, if you don’t stop, you’re gonna make me come.”

Aziraphale knew that and just carried on until he felt Crowley’s cock spamming and spilling in his mouth. He didn’t like to swallow so he went to the bathroom really quickly. If they had been in the bedroom, he would have used a towel, but he had been too excited. When he came back, a half-naked Crowley was waiting for him on the couch, and he was breathtaking. Aziraphale went to sit on his lap and kissed him again.

“You are beautiful,” he said “and I love you, my darling.”

“I love you too angel.” Anthony put his arms around Aziraphale. “You are too good with your mouth. You make me come so fast it’s embarrassing!” Aziraphale saw the blush on his boyfriend’s cheeks and knew it was only half a joke.

“I like it.” He simply said because it was true. “So, what do you want to do now?”

“What do _you_ want to do?” replied Crowley. Aziraphale felt very known at this moment.

“Can we do the pizza, flowers and cake ?” Aziraphale didn’t know he wanted this before Crowley told him about his plan but now that he knew, he really wanted everything.

“Of course, your wish is my command, my love.” declared a beautiful half-naked Crowley like it was nothing. And _that_ made Aziraphale shiver.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Crowley swears a lot when he is stressed.


	23. What happens after saying ‘I love you’

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sweet Valentine's day fluff part II. From Crowley's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [@Lovethistoomuch](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lovethistoomuch/pseuds/Lovethistoomuch) Thank you again because this story isn't much without your advices <3
> 
> HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE. I am back (I think) on a more regular schedule with my two stories. Thanks if you are here today. And thank you more if you are here since July <3

Preparing his declaration of love to Aziraphale had surely been one of the most stressful moments of Crowley's life. First, she had chosen the date and frankly, she wasn't sure about her choice. February 14th was such a cliché that this date had been elected cliché of the year every year by Crowely herself. However, deep down, she knew she was a romantic and she wanted to take advantage of this holiday to tell her partner everything. She had been thinking about it ever since she had given him the photo album at Christmas. In fact, it was all she was thinking about, so much so that sometimes she had the impression that Aziraphale was in the same situation as she was. Let her dream.

Anxious and having no idea how to bring her feelings across, (was she supposed to go out to a restaurant and say it at dessert? No, too much pressure in public. Did she have to wait for her partner to initiate something intimate? Maybe flowers? Chocolate dessert, probably. She had never been good at being the first to say it and he had no desire to screw that up). Aziraphale had said he wanted something intimate but now, she was not sure.

Finally, Anthony decided he had to call the only person who would know what to do and above all calm him down: his mother.

So on the Friday before Valentin’s day (he had left this problem for the last moment if he was honest with himself ), he ended up telling his mother everything after talking about the rain, the nice weather, and his aunt Muriel, his father's sister, who had pissed off his mother in one way or another.

"Hey, Mom, I could use some advice.” He said into the handset after listening to his mother talk about his aunt for five minutes and approving everything she said with well-placed 'mmmh's’.

_"Oh, of course Anthony. Sorry, I know I get completely out of control when I talk about your aunt. And I’m probably not very funny.”_

"No, Mommy! I love to hear you bitch like this, it's always highly but here it is ... I plan on confessing my feelings, tomorrow, to Aziraphale.” Just in case it was not obvious … “And I'm not sure if what I have in mind is well balanced between the romantic side and the 'no pressure if you're not there yet' side. You know what I'm saying?"

Lying on his couch, he looked down without thinking too much about it and noticed that he was wearing the yoga pants his boyfriend had enjoyed more than he thought he would. Maybe he should drop all his plans, put on some yoga pants, drink beer with his boyfriend and have at least three orgasms in one evening, and give him even more (ok, he wasn't twenty anymore and it would probably be spread out over the evening but, no pressure.)

_"What do you have planned?”_

"I was thinking about a simple dinner, I told him I didn't want anything special on Valentine's Day..." before he had time to finish, his mother interrupted him.

_"Don't you think you sent him the wrong message if you told him that?”_

"No! I only told him I'd rather do something simple..."

 _"What exactly did you say to him?"_ His mother's tone was accusatory. He didn't like where this conversation was going.

"I may have told him I wanted to just have pizza, beer and sex on Valentine's Day." Okay, he could see where she was going with this.

 _"I think I raised an idiot..."_ She sighed, but Crowley knew it was only to make things worse. He hadn't acquired his personality and drama tendency from just anyone.

"Thank you, Mum …”

 _"Well, since you told him that: keep it simple and see how he reacts to the idea of adding a little romance to the evening. See if he brings flowers, if he's well dressed, if he smiles at you a lot and blushes slightly, as he often does.”_ Why did she have to say things like that ? 

"Oh!" Anthony interrupted her. "He doesn't do that.”

_"My child, how could someone so smart be so stupid when it comes to the people he loves? I wonder. So, there you go. You mustn't overdo it either in case you chicken out.”_

"I'm not gonna chicken out. " Anthony protested.

"... " His mother, in saying nothing, said everything she thought.

"Okay fine, you win. Thanks for the advice." He knew when he was beaten.

 _"And why did you talk him into having such a... simple evening? I don't know how to put this. What were you thinking?"_ If his mother sounded exasperated, he knew she was actually worried.

"I got scared and wanted to take the pressure off the evening." Why did his mother always understand what he was doing? Seriously, she must have had psychic powers. Maybe she was like Anathema!

 _"I indeed raised an idiot, just as I thought."_ Her sigh made Crowley look up at the sky. _"Well, I think if you just redirect the evening a little bit, everything will be fine.”_

"You're right, Mom. I'm just stressed. Why do I behave like this at my age?” This feeling of being a hormone-filled teenager was both one of the best feelings he'd ever had and a great frustration. He often lost control of his thoughts and found himself looking at Aziraphale with what must have been a dreamy puppy eyes look.

_"That's what being in love is all about, pumpkin. Your relationship is still young, and it will settle down over time, like all relationships do. But hopefully for you, you'll see that the next step, even though it may be less ... intense, is also beautiful. Building a life with someone is a great adventure that I hope you can experience if this is what you aspire to.”_

Anthony thought of his parents, of course. The life they had both built may not have been the most perfect (what is a perfect life?) but, as their child, his parents had given him a childhood and adolescence full of love and security. His earliest memory was going down a slide, his mother being there, to catch him at the end. He didn't really remember it all, but his mother often took him to the park when he was a child and he apparently spent all his time going down the slide again and again.

"We'll see mommy..." Of course, it was what he aspired to. He had always been a romantic at heart and had always wanted to build his life with someone, even after the bitter failure with Lucy. "I have to leave you, I have a lot of things to do. I'll talk to you soon. Love you Ma'.”

_"Kisses, pumpkin. Love you, too.”_

Crowley hung up and took a deep breath. He felt much better having talked to his mother. Maybe she was right and Aziraphale would take what he had said for something other than what he meant but, that was nothing he couldn't fix). And, if he finally wanted to wait a little longer before confessing his feelings, nobody would blame him (except himself).

\-------

Of course, his mother had been right, and Anthony hated himself for ruining his first declaration of love to Aziraphale. For two seconds the blond guy looked like he wasn't sure if the flowers were appreciated and Crowley confessed everything without even realizing it (like the mess he can be), which was probably the worst. Nothing had prepared him for the reaction of Aziraphale who had looked at him with such tenderness eyes filled with both love and passion that he was breathless or rather cut off from the conversation. He had had to stop talking because he was afraid, he had said something he should have avoided. Which was very much the case, at least objectively (because, subjectively, it worked very well on Aziraphale).

He wanted to be looked at like that forever.

Luckily, everything was alright now. He had finally been able to confess the fact that he had almost told Aziraphale that he loved him so many times ever since he had realized that waiting for the perfect moment had been difficult. And, surprisingly for him (but no surprise to his mother), his partner had also had a hard time hiding it. He would have felt even more stupid if he hadn't started kissing Aziraphale at that moment with all the feelings he had locked inside of him like in a bottle. The blond answered directly and what was supposed to be a quick but fiery kiss was transformed into the best blowjob in Anthony's life. It was always a bit embarrassing for him when his partner used his mouth because he always completely melted and totally forgot himself. Also, his boyfriend was very good at it and Crowley had a soft spot for his mouth. A true teenager...

Afterwards, Azirapahale decided not to continue in this way because, apparently, he was more interested in what Crowley had prepared. So, they found themselves at the kitchen table after spending a few minutes kissing while the pizza warmed up. The kisses had been much less passionate, domestic almost: quick pecks on the cheeks, the forehead. Sometimes one or the other lingered on the lips and each time Aziraphale stroked Crowley's cheek. In his arms, he felt protected and perfectly at ease but had to detach himself when the timer started beeping.

After putting the plates on the table and pouring the wine, Crowley sat down in front of Aziraphale and noticed the discreet smile on the blond man's face. In another universe, if things had gone differently how many Valentine's Days would they have shared by now? No, he had promised himself he wouldn't start thinking about that when he had everything he wanted right in front of him now. Should he bring in the flowers? He had selected them deliberately for their meaning (after all, he had some knowledge of the language of flowers and it wasn't every day that he could use it. The bouquet was in the bathroom ... He would put it on the bedside table on Aziraphale's side for when they went to sleep. For the time being, he was enjoying having his boyfriend to himself. After listening to him recount the last meeting with his department, he looked worried.

"Are you all right, angel?" If there was one thing Crowley knew how to do, it was to know when Aziraphale felt like saying something but was thinking too much.

"Yes, perfectly, tickety-boo. Why?"

"You have that look you get when you want to say something but you're not sure you should bring it up." Crowley indicates with his free hand, that Aziraphale should speak.

"I was just wondering what has happened, for you to tell me you didn't want to do Valentine's Day. I understand if you don't want to talk about it, comma obviously, it's probably unhealthy curiosity. I'm sorry, forget I said anything. “

Crowley got up and went around the table to join Aziraphale. The latter, probably by instinct, moved his chair back slightly so that the redhead could sit on his lap. Aziraphale put his arms around the other man's waist while Anthony put his arms around his neck. This position was one of their favorite talking positions.

"It's probably stupid. "Aziraphale kissed him on the cheek to tell him, no, it wasn't stupid. "I told you about Lucy, didn't I? They were my second partner and I was really head over heels for them. They were interesting, intelligent, whatever. I decided to confess my feelings to them on Valentine's Day and they didn't react as I thought. It broke my heart and I couldn't keep the relationship going for very long. We tried to stay friends, but it was blocking me from moving on with my own life cause, I was waiting for them. They tried to come back into my life several times and I ended up blocking their number. Stupid isn't it?" He kissed Aziraphale to prevent him from answering. He wasn't sure he wanted to hear that answer. The blond man pushed his head back slightly.

"It's not stupid, my love. I can totally understand how that made you not liking this holiday. And, not everyone can be friends with their exes."

"Not like you, eh!" Crowley raised an eyebrow which made Aziraphale smile.

"Exactly. Unlike me. That doesn't make you jealous, I hope." Anthony saw the anxiety in Aziraphale's eyes and kissed him on the lips tenderly.

"Nope. If I was ever jealous, it would be out of mistrust, and I trust you completely.”

Their eyes met and for a few seconds they lost themselves in each other's eyes. This feeling that they were the only ones in the world surrounded Crowley. How was he so lucky? He had no idea, but he intended to take advantage of it. Silently, tenderly, they began to kiss again. Anthony bit the blond man's lower lip lightly before letting his tongue explore his boyfriend's mouth. Each time they kissed, he felt a gentle warmth spreading through his body. It wasn't always sexual (it often was however, he wasn't going to hide it! **)** . He just had this feeling, every time, that this was where he needed to be.

The kiss remained relatively chaste, but that didn't stop his body from reacting. When they stopped kissing, he saw in his partner's eyes that he, too, had been affected. After a last kiss on the nose, Crowley stood up.

"I'm going to make dessert, angel.”

While he prepared the desserts, Aziraphale served them some wine Crowley could admire the way he drank, turning the wine before each new sip, bringing the glass delicately to his lips as if he might break it. He brought the desserts to the table, and before sitting down, he kissed the blond man on the forehead, who took a spoonful of the cake before Anthony had even had time to sit down. The sound he made with his mouth was indecent.

"Mmmmm, Crowley! That's probably one of the best chocolate cakes I've ever had!" If he made that noise every time, Anthony would learn to make all the cakes in the world.

"Glad you like it..." If he had intended to eat, this urge had gone as soon as Anthony saw the way Aziraphale had put the spoon in his mouth. How could such a simple act be so erotic? Every time his partner liked what he ate, Crowley was asking himself this question. He finished the cake a lot faster than Crowley had expected. He hadn't even started touching his own. He could put it aside for tomorrow, seeing Aziraphale almost in ecstasy with chocolate in his mouth was far better than any cake he could imagine. Maybe, he could melt some chocolate and use it on the blonde's body to...

"I also had something to ask you, dearest." Anthony came back to reality without quite stopping to think about his plan with chocolate and his completely naked angel. Or maybe, he could be the one covered with chocolate and Aziraphale could eat him and … “As you know, I'll be at a conference in Paris this May. And, I was wondering, you don't have any obligations obviously, I wouldn't want to impose on you..." Crowley interrupted him. They had the same tendencies when they were stressed.

"Angel, ask me what you want." His voice was soft and sentimental. Even more so than usual.

"Would you like to come with me? The conference will be a Friday and if you have to work, you could join me later that day." He seemed nervous which made Anthony smile. As if he was going to say no.

"Of course, Aziraphale, I want to spend a romantic weekend with you in Paris.” Wasn't it obvious? Maybe he wasn't explicit enough about his intentions. "If we're only staying two or three days, we'll have to make plans for all the things we really want to see. And eat!" His boyfriend's smile told him a lot about what he was thinking.

"If you want, we can start planning tomorrow, my love. Have you decided what you wanted to watch tonight?" Crowley had discovered that Aziraphale was not really well versed when it came to movies and the surrounding culture. So, he came up with the idea of watching a romantic comedy together.

"Yep. Love actually. I hope you’ll like it!”

They got up and sat down together on the couch. Aziraphale laid down with his head, resting it on Anthony's chest. Anthony ran his hand through the blond hair, playing with the curls without even realizing it. Love Actually was one of his favorite movies, so, he didn't notice right away that his boyfriend had fallen asleep. Halfway through the film, however, he was about to ask him if he wanted something to drink. He looked down and found a sleeping angel. He smiled, one of these smiles that come instantly when you realize how happy you are. And that's all he was at that moment, happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need new stories to read : if you want to share your story with me, I would love to read it. Fair warning, I only read : happy ending and angsty fiction only if they are together when I start reading it. Also I don't read violent fiction. 
> 
> Come talk with me, I'm on tumblr : @AccroV 
> 
> See you soon <3


	24. Sick but happy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aziraphale is sick. Crowley is sweet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [@Lovethistoomuch](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lovethistoomuch/pseuds/Lovethistoomuch) My wonderful beta. Thanks again <3

For a week, Aziraphale was finding it increasingly difficult to wake up. Every time he heard the alarm, he grumbled and stayed a little longer in bed, which was not his habit. Sure, there were times when he didn't want to get out of bed, when there was, for example, a redheaded beside him. Apart from these moments, in the mornings when he was alone (which was certainly increasingly rare, especially in the last three weeks, three glorious weeks after confession of love and torrid sex), he would get up rather quickly, always excited at the idea of returning to his classroom. If, at first, he had been able to ignore his condition, since Tuesday he woke up groggy and with a heavy head, this wasn't the case anymore. Today was Friday and it was the absolute worst timing to get sick. He and Crowley were to attend a performance of the opera Carmen on Saturday, probably followed by dinner at a restaurant and a night together.

Closing his eyes, Aziraphale concentrated on Crowley rather than on his headache before getting up. Since mid-February, everything had become easier with Anthony. Whenever he felt like it, he could say the three magic words. The tension he had felt at times from his partner had completely disappeared. Also, in the last three weeks, he had found many post-it notes in his office. Often, they had nothing more than a drawn heart, but each time he smiled stupidly. If they had still been in high school, he would have taken Crowley's planner and put love notes on it at different times of the year. Instead, he had taken Crowley’s cell phone and figured out how to put reminders that would display a silent notification (he had checked) and declare his love. (Sometimes the declarations were sexier... The one that he had wrote for today said that he wanted to suck his cock. Yes. Just this.

Thinking about all this made Aziraphale's mind go back to the last time they had made love: Crowley's hands on his body, the sounds his partner made when he put his mouth on one of his nipples, the sweat on their bodies, their ... If he had to get out of bed, he'd better stop thinking about it.

His head was hurting, he felt like he could hear the blood coming out of his eardrums. If he took some medication, it would quickly pass, wouldn't it?

Apparently, it didn't. Anathema came to his office around ten o'clock, and as soon as she laid eyes on him, she couldn't help smiling. She was that kind of a person...

"Wow, Aziraphale, you look like shit!"

He knew that, but did she have to say it like that? Aziraphale had more dark circles under his eyes than he'd had in a long time. Also, he felt as if he was sweating all the time while simultaneously freezing. Maybe he should go home and cancel his afternoon appointments? He didn't have classes, but he had to see two of his students who wanted to talk to him about their future. He had vowed to become a teacher who would be there to help his students. The thought of having to cancel his appointments turned him on edge. Or maybe it was the fever.

"You'd better go home," Anathema continued, "or you may not recover quickly. Do you have essential oils at home? I think I have some that might help you with your symptoms.”

"Anathema, I didn't know you went to medical school." He didn't want to have any symptoms, let alone take essential oils. Tea and his bed were much more appealing prospects. "I think you're right. I'm going to go home and get into bed. Did you want anything in particular, dear?"

"It can wait! Do you want me to go tell Crowley?"

"Thank you, dear, but I'll be fine. I'll go see him in his office myself. I have to send emails to cancel my appointments. After that, I'm leaving. I promise!" He was willing to bet that within twenty minutes Anathema would send a message to Crowley to check if he'd stopped by to see him and if he'd made it home.

"Okay! If you need anything, you contact me, right? I'll send your fiancé the names of plants to get you in shape." Anathema had gotten into the habit of calling them fiancé or husband. Aziraphale always wondered if she did it to make them uncomfortable or because she saw the future. He didn't really believe in the second option. 

"Thank you, I hope it passes quickly.”

Anathema waved to him before leaving his office. Aziraphale typed his few emails with the impression that he was writing as fast as a snail. After putting his things away, he headed for the experimental science building. His mind was foggy, and he couldn't remember whether Anthony was giving a lesson this morning or not. He hoped not to disturb his partner, but knew that if he did not warn him, he would be strongly reprimanded.

After walking what felt like a marathon distance to Crowley's office, he found the door to his office ajar. Without paying attention, he entered without announcing his presence. However, the professor was not alone, as there was a person sitting across from him at his desk.

"Oh, I'm terribly sorry." Aziraphale had forgotten to knock. How could he have forgotten that? He didn't want to embarrass his boyfriend. "I..."

"Aziraphale," interrupted Anthony in a soft, calm voice. He had a slight smile on his face. "There's no problem, we were finishing." Crowley stood up and his student, it must have been a student, did the same. They shook hands. "If you have any more questions, email me and we'll discuss it again.”

"Thank you, Professor." Aziraphale had never called Crowley that. Perhaps he should, in one of their offices. He could..." Have a very good day. You too, Professor Fell. »

Aziraphale tilted his head slightly. He was convinced that the student he had just seen had never been in his class. Crowley took his hand and led him into his office before closing the door behind him.

"I didn't expect to see you so early in the day, dove." Anthony wrapped his arms around Aziraphale's waist before giving him a peck on the forehead. The blond felt his partner stiffen. "Your forehead is burning hot."After removing his arms, Crowley stared at him.

"That's what I came to tell you. I think I'm sick enough, so I'm going home and get some rest. I don't think I'll be in any condition to go to the performance tomorrow night."Anthony looked so worried as soon as he told him he was ill, Aziraphale felt this warm feeling in his chest.

"You should make an appointment with a doctor! »

"I don't think I need it. It looks like a flu-like condition, mostly. I'm just going to go home and try to sleep. Probably sweating a fever. A perfect weekend ahead." He hated being sick, the fever could make him have weird reactions.

"Mmm, sexy." Aziraphale looked at Crowley with what he hoped was a low-grade fever and a look that expressed his inability to laugh right now. "Do you want me to take you home? I could cancel my class and..." The blonde interrupted him.

"Out of the question. You're teaching your class, and I wouldn't want to contaminate you. It would probably be best if you stayed away from me this weekend." Of course, Crowley did the exact opposite and kissed him gently on the lips. He already had kissed him on the forehead anyways, so too late for that.

"'Too late." The redhead smiled and Aziraphale's heart felt good in his chest. "I'll come over tonight, as soon as my class is finished. I have some things at your place, and I can take care of you all weekend.”

"Are you sure you want to do this." If he had big puppy-dog eyes, Aziraphale couldn't help it, he couldn't control himself. 

"Completely." Crowley stroked his cheek. This simple gesture reassured him. He didn't realize he'd been worried, but it was the first time one of them had ever been ill. "I'll go and buy some food. I'll send you a message when I leave, okay? And if you don't want me to walk you home, let me call you a cab. There's no way you're going home in that condition.”

After calling a cab, Crowley accompanied Aziraphale and waited with him. On his way home, Aziraphale sent a message as he had promised his partner to tell him that he was home. He went to bed and tried to read, but soon, he realized that his headache was coming back in full force. After trying to fall asleep, he turned and rolled over in his bed. Apparently, sleeping was not an option either.

Letting his mind go, he decided to land on a high school memory with Crowley. It was a simple memory. During their second year, Anthony had been sicker than ever. His doctor had given him more than a week without school, and even though they talked on the phone all the time in the evenings, Aziraphale felt like he had never wanted to see anyone more in his life. So, as soon as the weekend arrived, he went to the Crowleys' house.

After assuring Mrs. Crowley that he would be careful and wash his hands well, he was able to access his best friend's room. The latter was hidden under his duvet, only the top of his skull with his red hair was visible. Aziraphale didn't know if he was asleep, but he sat down on the bed and gently stroked the red hair that was within his reach. Anthony had made a noise and then continued doing what he seemed to be doing: sleeping. Aziraphale tried to remember what had happened when his friend had woken up and wondered why he hadn't taken advantage of the moment to hold Crowley in his arms.

He fell asleep.

He woke up with a start, hearing a noise in his apartment. It was dark outside, and he had no idea what time it was. A quick glance at his clock radio (yes, he had one) told him that the evening was already well underway. He felt a little better, but when he moved, he felt how much heat he had evacuated during those few hours. The sheets had to be changed. Getting up slowly, he picked up his phone and quickly checked his messages. The last one was from Crowley telling him he was on his way. Aziraphale had left his door open to let him in, he thought maybe he should give him a copy of the keys. He didn't like to leave his apartment unlocked like that. Hearing the noise again, he went to the bathroom. If it wasn't Crowley but a thief, or worse, he wanted to look presentable.

The shower put him back in a kind of a state. He was hot, he was cold. His head was about to explode, and his joints were starting to hurt. When he came out, he quickly brushed his teeth and put on his robe. Really, being sick was awful.

After listening to the noise emanating from the kitchen, Aziraphale decided to meet his fate, which was obviously a redheaded cooking. Crowley hadn't heard him arrive, dancing and singing silently to the music he must have put on his phone and listened to with his wireless headphones. Taking advantage of the fact that his partner hadn't seen him, Aziraphale tried to take the time to admire him, but soon his head began to spin. He interrupted Anthony by putting his arms around his waist and resting his head between his shoulder blades.

After feeling Aziraphale around him, Crowley removed his headphones and put them on the work surface. He then turned around while remaining in the arms of the blond man, whose head settled against his chest. Passing one of his arms around his shoulders, he used his free hand to caress the blonde hair. They stayed like this for a few moments and then Anthony put a kiss on Aziraphale's forehead (difficult to reach in this position). The latter sighed.

"Hey, love. Did you sleep well?" Crowley's voice was soft and made Aziraphale shiver. Perhaps it was the fever, but he felt protected and warm in that embrace. No, he always felt warm in his partner's arms. Whether it was for a simple hug or more. He always felt like he was at home. In fact, maybe he should..."Angel, are you okay?"

Oh, Aziraphale had gotten totally lost in his thoughts and forgot to answer.

"I apologize, I think the fever is still a little high. I slept well, thank you, dear. You don't have to be here, you know…" Of course, he wanted Crowley to stay but it was definitely the first time he'd ever been this bad in front of him and he didn't like it.

"Nonsense." Crowley took his chin to make him lift his head slightly and put a chaste kiss on his lips. "You're sick and I intend to take care of you." After scanning Aziraphale's face, he began to speak again. "You are exhausted. I still have to finish cooking, so you'll go lie down on your bed or the couch and rest until everything's ready.”

"Couch. I have to change the sheets on the bed."Aziraphale didn't really want to move from Crowley's arms, if he was going to be honest.

"I'll take care of it. Go on, get some rest!" After meeting the blond man's gaze, he added. "I'll come over for a few minutes while you settle in.”

Aziraphale tried to smile, but he gave up because moving any of his muscles hurt. After lying down on his couch, Crowley sat down on the floor and started stroking his hair. This simple gesture was one of the most comforting he ever received.

"I'm really sorry we can't go to the opera tomorrow." Aziraphale said, eyes closed, voice a little sleepy.

"You have nothing to apologize for, angel. You're sick and there's nothing you can do about it. Maybe you should make an appointment with the doctor, right?" Crowley looked worried and Aziraphale didn't like to worry him.

"I made one for Monday while I was in the cab, just in case.” Well, because Crowley suggested it.

"Perfect. I'll finish making dinner. Nothing too heavy. Do you need anything else?" He laid a kiss on the blonde crown which made Aziraphale smile.

"Just a glass of water, please." A kiss on the cheek.

"I'll get that for you. Get some rest, dove.”

After that, Crowley left and Aziraphale's notion of time was confused. He saw the glass of water arrive on the table and between that moment and the time Crowley sat him up to eat, he was unable to know how long it had actually been or if he had fallen asleep. The soup was really delicious and Aziraphale complimented his partner.

"You can thank my father, he gave me the recipe. That's what he used to make me all the time when I got sick.”

After eating, Aziraphale was instructed by his boyfriend to go straight to bed and Crowley went with him.

"It's still early. Don't come right away, you'll get bored." protested Aziraphale.

"Angel, I have a phone and you have more books than I can read. I can keep busy. Don't worry.”

After trying once again to tell Crowley that he could do something else, he stopped protesting and went to bed. He looked out of the corner of his eye when Crowley started to change his clothes. To think that he had planned a perfect evening tomorrow and that his body had let him down like that! He closed his eyes and felt a weight on the bed before he felt arms around him.

"You want me to read you something?”

Aziraphale looked at his partner and tried to smile. He loved to read and often regretted not being able to enjoy someone's voice narrating the text to him like when he was little. His mother was far from perfect, but he had loved those moments with her.

"Would you read out loud for me?"

"Of course. You're sick and I love you.”

Of course.

Crowley took one of the books from the bedside table that didn't have a bookmark and started reading. Aziraphale didn't try to concentrate. He just listened to the voice reading, soft and familiar. A memory of when they were teenagers appeared, but he didn't have time to remember because he was already falling into a deep sleep.

The weekend was slow. Aziraphale slept a lot, but every time he woke up, Crowley was not far away. His partner took care of cooking for him. He continued to read aloud what he had started. They watched movies to make up for Aziraphale's lack of knowledge in pop culture. Often, Crowley had his hand in his hair and stroked it gently. Or, he would kiss his forehead. Knowing that he was sick, Crowley would give him enough space but, he was here. At times, they might stay in each other's arms, then the fever would come back and they would just stay in the same space. It was easy. Everything was so easy.

On Sunday night, Crowley was supposed to go home and get ready for his week. He had suggested to Aziraphale to come back later that night, but Aziraphale, feeling better, told him to stay home and take some time for himself.

"You've taken such good care of," he said, "do what you have to do, and I'll see you tomorrow.”

"Are you sure?" Crowley asked.

"I'm sure. I'll call you tomorrow after I go to the doctor, dear. I don't think I'll be able to work, but you never know." He stroked his cheek and the redhead blushed.

"Okay, if you're so sure, I'll go. »

Aziraphale accompanied him to the door. He had already planned to go back to the couch and collapse. He felt better, but he wasn't in great shape yet.

"Oh, before you go, I wanted to give you this." He took something off the coffee table and reached out his hand to Crowley.

"A key?" He looked surprised.

"Maybe I should explain... It's a duplicate of my keys." Crowley's eyes widened. "I want you to have it so you can come in whenever you want without me having to unlock it. Make you feel welcome. I don't know if that's really a thing to do. But I want you to have it.”

The redhead's gaze passed from the key to Aziraphale several times. Then, a stupid smile crept on his face. Before answering anything, they kissed.

"Thank you, angel. It means a lot. I love you."

The two continued kissing until Aziraphale's head began to turn again. Feeling that he needed to lie down, he put one last kiss on his boyfriend's lips.

"I love you too, my darling. Go home now and I'll call you tomorrow. Or, you can come over, if you want."

Crowley left with a huge smile on his face and Aziraphale went back to sleep. Without realizing it, one more step had been taken in their relationship. He was sick but happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading <3 I'm slowly closing this story so if you want to read anything before it, please tell me <3


	25. When being yourself is hard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Disciplinary committee, hard feelings and tenderness. 
> 
> TW : embyphobia, hard feelings regarding the events with La Vista, (tender) sex

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The best and only [@Lovethistoomuch](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lovethistoomuch/pseuds/Lovethistoomuch) made this chapter better. 
> 
> A publication schedule ? Don't know this. So, I'm back. Here you are. 
> 
> If you follow me on my two stories, both have only five chapters left. Maybe less. Just so you know, I'm working on my next AU. I can't wait for you to read it but first things first, this new chapter ! 
> 
> And I can't wait for the quarantine to finish, my next manucure will be a Good Omens inspired one ...

Crowley used her key to let herself into Aziraphale’s apartment. She took her shoes off, hung up her coat and went to bed directly, immediately smelling her partner’s perfume. She was sad and exhausted, and she didn’t want to go back to work on Monday. Of course, she knew that tomorrow, she would feel better, but right now, she hated everything. Now, as her walls were down, she felt safe and she wanted to cry, to scream and to be angry about everything but particularly about La Vista.

This fucking piece of shit probably won’t be fired. President Dieu had said that these types of consequences were unlikely, even when getting the disciplinary committee involved. She had said as much, in Crowley an email about the subject last week, where she also proposed a meeting to talk about it further. She had been really sweet about everything.

“Good morning, Professor Crowley. How are you today?” She shook her hand and made a sign for her to sit.

“I’m fine, thank you President.” She wasn’t really fine, but she had just seen Aziraphale and the way he had fussed about her had really lifted her spirits. He had been so sweet, (and hot), (and kissable), she had snogged him senseless just before walking to the President’s office.

“I just wanted to talk to you about the disciplinary commission next week. You know Professors Thebub and Arcans will be here with Vice-President Watson, a person from human resources, and two other professors from other departments. I doubt you know them.”

Crowley didn’t feel good with such a large crowd for the commission, but she knew it was the standard procedure.

“I may have seen them but no, I’m not familiar with professors from other departments.” The President looked worried.

“So, I also wanted to be perfectly honest, but Professor La Vista may not be fired. It’s his first offense and the commission has to reach an agreement. He may have a leave for some months without pay, obligatory courses on behavior in the workplace. I don’t know for sure but it’s highly possible and I wanted you to know beforehand.”

She knew she shouldn’t be disappointed. Having her case heard by a disciplinary commission was more than other's had gotten who were in the same situation than her. But it stung, nonetheless. She tried to not show too many emotions.

“Thank you for being honest and telling me in advance, President. I decided I’ll be present for the hearing if the commission wants to ask me anything.”

“It will be good for you to be there. Especially for the people who don’t know you. As you have seen, we started a campaign on the campus about equality and we will have a conference soon. I don’t know if you are out to your students but if you want to be, the university will support you and everyone who wants to do the same.”

What the President said were only words for her because she wasn’t affected herself, but Crowley felt comforted. It could be good for the young ones to not have to worry if they were accepted by the faculty. Well, they could be accepted by it, but the problem lied with the individuals. The politic of the university wasn’t enough to change the mind of the ones who hated them.

“I’m thinking about it. Will that be all, President?” She was upset and wanted to go and talk to Aziraphale.

“Yes, that'll be all. Thank you for coming, Professor Crowley.”

They exchanged a look and the redhead went to see her partner.

One week later, she was with the disciplinary commission. Gabriel was present and she felt better. She focused on him and Belle, trying to see if there was any tension between them. Aziraphale thought that Gabriel was actually with Anathema, but Crowley didn’t agree. Or, if they were, it was not, for now at least, a committed relationship. They had an age gap she didn’t really feel comfortable with, but with them being two consenting adults, she didn’t have anything to say.

One of the two professors she didn’t know asked her some questions. She didn’t want to answer, she didn’t want to be there, but she did nonetheless. This was about creating a precedent.

Of course, La Vista had a line of defense. A bad one. It was a joke. It didn’t mean what he had said cause he had had too much to drink. He also claimed that his behavior wasn’t the reflection of his thoughts. He apologized because he had to, and she almost jumped out of her chair and slapped him. Aziraphale should have been here but he couldn’t. The commission was confidential.

Crowley had to endure this for almost an hour. She counted the minutes, almost the seconds. She had taken the rest of the afternoon off knowing she wouldn't be well. Leaving the commission, she checked her phone and saw a text from her boyfriend.

> _My love, I hope everything went well but I assume it didn’t. You must be feeling a lot. If you want to, you can go to my apartment so I can take care of you. If you prefer going home, I’ll join you at six. As you know, I have a class this afternoon and again, I’m sorry I can’t be with you right now. Text me what you decided. I’ll see you soon. Aziraphale_

Crowley texted back she was going to his apartment and left the campus as quickly as she could. Gabriel almost tried to talk to her, but she saw Bell put her hand on his forearm and say something to him. He didn’t move after that and she was grateful to her ‘boss’. She needed to be alone. With her partner.

In Aziraphale’s bed, with his scent around her, she tried to sleep a bit to calm her emotions. All she did was stare at the ceiling. She knew the hearing would be hard, but she had felt like a ‘she’ during it and she had hoped she would feel like a ‘he’ to make it easier. This was an irrational thought cause, not matter the pronouns, she was always non-binary. Not liking her train of thoughts, she got up and decided to make some muffins. She had some outfits in a drawer, so she changed into her yoga pants, the ones her boyfriend preferred, and she went to the kitchen.

After putting some music on, she started making the muffins. Thinking of nothing, (she really was trying at least), she remembered she had promised her parents to call. Her hands full of flour, she decided to wait until the tray was in the oven. She added a spoon of chocolate spread in each mold before sliding the plate the oven. Right on time, Aziraphale opened the door and without removing his coat or shoes, came into the kitchen and hugged her. She was covered in flour, but apparently, he didn’t care, and she was so happy to feel his warmth against her.

Feeling a kiss on her neck, she closed her eyes and just enjoyed the moment. Even though the whole thing wasn't behind her yet, it was easier to relax with him around. He hugged and kissed Crowley like she was a treasure to protect. The next kiss was on her lips and she let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. The perfect angel, with the perfect lips was kissing her and her world narrowed down to this. When he stopped, she couldn’t help herself and whined a little. Aziraphale cradled her cheek.

“How are you feeling, my dear?” He looked worried and Crowley didn’t like it. Aziraphale should always smile that cherubic smile.

“I’m fine, angel.” She tried to be dismissive but Aziraphale’s eyes were fix on her and she had no choice but to speak. “I’m feeling overwhelmed. It was harder than I thought.” She stopped to breath and continued to speak.

“I’m angry! I just want to punch him and his fucking excuses like it was just a good joke when he was a homophobic and transphobic prick! And the worst is that he probably won’t be fired, and I will have to see him and be better than him because that’s what they want me to do, that’s what I have to do.” Aziraphale didn’t say anything but tightened his grip with his arm around her waist and continued to do the same movement on her cheek.

“I’m so … I have too many feelings right now. And I have to process them. I knew something like this would happen. I should be prepared but I’m not. I feel I never will. I shouldn't be made to feel like this but there are too much ignorant shits like him in this world, so I am!” She took a deep breath and hugged Aziraphale again with her face in his neck. It was apparently a sign for him, cause he spoke again.

“I am so sorry, my love, that you have to experience this, and I can’t do anything about it except trying to make you feel better. You just made muffins, let me prepare tea for us and then we can go to the living room. We can talk or watch a movie or do anything you want right now. Would you like that?” His voice was soothing … God, she had it bad for him. Worse than high school now that he was hers. 

She nodded in his neck and they went to the living room together. She sat down on the sofa and Aziraphale finally removed his shoes and coat. Then, he went to the kitchen to make tea.

She felt like crying. Fortunately, Aziraphale came back with tea and handed her a mug. They drank in silence, Crowley almost sitting in Aziraphale’s lap. He gently cradled her forearm, then a tight, kissed her cheek and forehead. She relaxed between the warm beverage and the warmth of his body.

“It’s just so unfair.” She finally said with a sigh.

“Yes, it is. I hope he will be fired. I know Gabriel want him to be. But, if he is not, my dear, you have friends and the support of the administration. He may not be fired the first time, but if he misconducts again, he will not have another chance.”

She sighed again. Aziraphale was probably right but she was dreading the prospect of seeing La Vista on Monday. He appeared too joyful in front of the commission like he knew he had already won. First, she put her mug on the table, then Aziraphale’s and moved into his lap to start kissing again. She felt safe in his arms and she could sense the turmoil of her emotions cool down. His arms encompassed her, and his hands explored her back and her neck under her shirt. They didn’t have time to really do anything, because some seconds (minutes) later, they heard an alarm. She hated it more than anything in the world right now.

“What’s that?” She almost hissed the ‘s’.

“An alarm for the muffins. I didn’t want them to burn!” answered Aziraphale with a heavy tone to make her laugh. And it worked. She chuckled and waited for him to come back with the cakes. They ate the muffins while Aziraphale talked about his day and the last assignment he gave to his students. He had four classes this semester and they were all very motivated.

Crowley’s phone rang and for the first time since she had arrived at Aziraphale’s place she checked it. She had a text from her mum and the call was from her father. She decided to answer it.

“Hey dad!” She tried to sound cheerful.

_“Pumpkin, so? How are you?”_

“Not so great, I must admit. But I’m with Aziraphale. I’ll be alright.”

_“Tell him we say hello. I’m relieved to know you are together tonight. What did they decide?”_

“They didn’t decide anything today. They will have another meeting and decide in two weeks. In the meantime, I have to see his shit face at work like I had to for the past three months!”

_“I’m so sorry pumpkin. We’re here if you want to talk or visit us. You should come with Aziraphale.”_

“Maybe, will see. I’m too overwhelmed to decide anything today. Talk to you tomorrow? When I’m better?”

_“Of course. Mum and I love you. Bye.”_

“Love you too, dad. Bye.”

She turned to Aziraphale who was sipping his tea and eating another muffin, looking like the perfect angel he was. A perfect angel with a perfect bow tie she should remove for his sake, cause he would be more comfortable, and she wanted to concentrate on something that wasn't depressing.

“Ok, I want to have sex.” She declared sitting next to Aziraphale on the sofa once again. “Are you interested?” She had a proud grin on her face and what she hoped was a suggestive and sexy expression.

“Are you sure, darling? I know you don’t feel good right now and I don’t want to take advantage.” Always so considerate and she loved him for it. He deposed the mug and finished his cake before she answered.

“Of course, I’m sure angel. Do you have any idea what you do to me every time you are around, smelling perfect and looking so sweet and eatable?” She kissed him, just a chaste peck on the lips.

“You know, some prefers to be referred as hot and sexy, dear girl.” His smile was small, but she knew it, from before, and by now she knew it very well.

“Yeah, I know but …” She gave him a quick peck on the lips. “You don’t, right?”

He didn't answer that, instead Aziraphale kissed her, a deep kiss with tongue, loving and with some heat underneath. Crowley undid the perfectly tied bow-tie first. She almost always started with it. This simple gesture made her hard in ten seconds every time. Like a Pavlovian reflex. They undressed each other slowly and lovingly. There was no pressure, no time limit. They could take their time and just enjoy it. She didn’t feel any urgency just a sense of rightness, like she should be here, on the sofa, kissing Aziraphale senseless and undressing him.

She smiled when the blond groaned while she slowly stroked him through his underwear. They were in the living room so, no lube. They could always move to the bedroom, but it was too good, Aziraphale now on top of her, kissing her neck, licking her hard nipples and teasing her with the tip of his fingers around her.

“You are so beautiful, and I love you so much.” He whispered next to her hear and started really stroking her, not teasing anymore. She tried to take him in her hand too, but he removed it immediately. “Not now, my love. I want this to be all about you.”

They had made love and fucked many times now. They had started dating almost six months ago and Aziraphale had learned everything about her body during this time. He knew what to do to tease her, frustrate her or calm her and she was grateful for it. Everything he did was perfect and so, she let go, just enjoying the caresses and kisses on her skin. Some minutes (or seconds) later, she was almost there.

“Fuck Aziraphale. Don’t stop please.” She kissed him and it was sloppy, it was perfect, it was what she needed, and wanted, and it felt too good. She bit him slightly on his left peck, just above his nipple when her orgasm started, or she would have screamed, or passed out. She was so relaxed, she could almost sleep right now. “Wow, this was good, angel. Give me five minutes and I’ll do you.”

“You look sleepy, love. Don’t worry about me.” He kissed her on the nose. “I’m going to fetch something to clean you and then you can doze off here while I prepare dinner.” She just nodded, feeling at ease. With a few gentle gestures, Aziraphale cleaned her and then, covered her with a blanket.

She was safe and loved. ‘Everything would be alright’ was her last thought before falling asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading after so much time. Thanks for your comment if you let me one. 
> 
> Stay safe <3 If you want to talk about GO, I'm here during this weird time we're leaving.


	26. Four professors in a bar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Four professors walk into a bar. And talk.

Two weeks later, Aziraphale, Crowley and Anathema were in Crowley’s office. Crowley had hated that she had to wait for so long before they had an answer about La Vista and was discussing it when Gabriel stepped in. He had a smile on his face and invited the three of them to go to a bar after work saying he had some announcement to make. Crowley tried to bribe him, but Gabriel really wanted them to get together and to have the time to discuss it.

They went to a bar near Gabriel’s place. Anathema sat next to Gabriel and Aziraphale gave Raphaëlle a knowing look she ignored. She didn’t like the prospect of losing their bet about the relationship of their friends and he knew it. The blond took his girlfriend’s hand in his and started to draw little patterns. The intimacy between them was always palpable and easy.

Taking her hands, kissing her lips, caressing her cheeks, these little things became essential to him so rapidly. Most of the time, they spend the nights together. Each had a drawer in the other's dresser. They had exchanged keys the past month. Aziraphale thought again and again about asking her to move in together but, he didn’t want to go too fast. Was six months enough to ask someone something like that? Why did he feel so insecure? These kind of thoughts and behavior were understandable when you were twenty … He wasn’t anymore.

Aziraphale and Gabriel went to the bar to get their drinks. When they returned, they sat down and asked Gabriel about his announcement.

“So,” started Gabriel “I think you’ll be pleased to know that we won’t be seeing LaVista next term.”

Raphaëlle smiled and the sight of it mesmerized Aziraphale. They had discussed this subject at length. They knew the possibility of him being fired effective immediately didn’t really exist. He was pleased, as Gabriel had put it, that he won’t be there anymore. It would set an example, a precedent.

“Did you all agree about this decision?” Aziraphale had to ask. Crowley seemed to process the information. He squeezed her hand and caressed her forearm under the table.

“We had some … disagreements but we found a middle-ground when one of the members suggested he wouldn’t be fired immediately, only at the end of the semester.” Gabriel answered.

“I’m very glad you did.” Anathema was sipping her beer, a pale light beer she especially liked in this bar. “He won’t be the last one to say something so shitty. The university needed to make a statement … I just hope they will be forward about it and not try to hide the reason behind it.”

“Well, if they expose it, Crowley you’ll be outed.”

“Are you alright, my dear?” Aziraphale asked. “You didn’t say anything since we sat down.”

She didn’t look as relax as when they had sat down.

“Mmmmh?” She turned to face him and seemed to reconnect with her surroundings. “Oh, sorry, I kind of space out.” She smiled and drank from her mojito. “Well, of course I’m happy he won’t be here next year. I had an appointment with the President, and she showed me the publication about inclusivity they will launch. It’s really good.”

“You don’t seem very convinced.” Anathema had very good observational skills.

“It’s not magical. A paper won’t change opinions in a day.” She laced her fingers with Aziraphale’s tighter.

“But, you know, it will be good for everyone. The younger ones need this, now they will know that there are adults here who they’ll be safe to talk to. Some of my students talked about it at the end of my last class. They are thinking about having an association on campus for LGBT+.”

“Oh, this is exactly what we talked about, darling.” Aziraphale had thought it could be a really good idea, and it had to come from the students. “Which students?”

“In my class, Adam Young and Pepper Moonchild,” Anathema answered “They have a facebook page for LGBT+ students. It’s very restricted cause they had problems when they first opened it.”

“Oh, I had Adam Young last year in one of my classes. I think his boyfriend is in one of your classes, my dear. I saw him a couple of times waiting for him while I waited for you.”

“I think I’ve spotted them once or twice. His boyfriend is very bright but he has such a weird name. Warlock… What kind of parents name their kid Warlock… It’s like Anathema was named Witch!” Raphaëlle smiled. “Speaking of witches, Anathema, what’s up in the love department?” Her smile had turned into a smirk.

“Wow, smooth Raphaëlle. Did you rehearse this one?” Anathema said with the air of someone who wanted to change the subject.

“No rehearsal, purely freestyle!” Crowley answered with a little sitting bow. “I know you’re impressed. But don’t try to change the subject! I know you’re up to something…”

Aziraphale looked at Gabriel who smiled at him. They all knew what was going on but Raphaëlle was really curious about it. Maybe, Aziraphale thought, they could go, have dinner, just the two of them after this. Or, they could also go catch a movie. There was a fantasy film Crowley wanted to see. Fantasy wasn’t the blond's favorite genre but he liked the movie theater, the obscurity, the little things they did together, like teenagers.

“I know you know so, why are you asking?” Apparently, Anathema was in a sarcastic mood.

“Dear, if you don’t want to answer, you just have to say so.” Aziraphale said. Maybe it was too personal, and she didn’t want to share it with all of them. Raphaëlle could always ask later, they had a shopping session planned because apparently, she needed new clothes for Paris …

“Oh, Aziraphale, you are too sweet. I just like teasing Raphaëlle.”

“And it’s working. So, Gabriel, what’s up with you? You seem pretty quiet right now.” Crowley was in demon mode apparently.

“Oh, yeah. You know I saw Belle earlier this year and we talked but we agreed to try to be friends and nothing more.” Gabriel had done a lot of work on himself since he had been with Professor Thebub and he had to do more in the future. They had gone on a date in late January, but it was apocalyptic. Everything went so badly, it had been comic. They had gone to a restaurant none of them knew and the food had been a monstrosity. The portions were so tiny that you felt like you hadn't eaten anything. Half of it had been under cooked and the other half burned. The perfect example of this was the dessert: an almost frozen apple pie with a half-liquid ice cream. At least, they had laughed all night because this was, for both of them, the worst date they had ever had. And Gabriel had had a date with Aziraphale were they decided to be friends before anything could even happen between them… Even if that date wasn’t in Gabriel’s top three worst dates list.

“And?” asked Raphaëlle. She didn’t understand why they couldn’t answer a straightforward question. She didn’t like to be teasing. Well, she liked it but not so much if you asked her…

“You should tell her, Gabriel, she won’t stop until we say it.” Anathema said with a sigh to add some drama. Raphaëlle and her both knew in that moment why they were such good friends.

“Anathema and I may have seen each other this past few weeks…” said Gabriel before taking a sip of his cocktail with a little umbrella. Cocktails with little umbrellas were always the bests.

“We had our doubts, Gabriel. Raphaëlle just wanted confirmation.”

“Angel! I won’t stand this accusation!” exclaimed Raphaëlle with a gasp like she was truly shocked, but her smile said all. “Well, yeah, we knew. And yes, I wanted confirmation. So, did you have to file something for HR?”

“I know you say that as a joke, but Gabriel is technically a superior so, yes, we did. It’s better for both of us especially when you take into consideration, he started the war we have with your department.”

“Oi, you are arch!” Anathema rolled her eyes. “You are right of course but…”

“This is very mature of you both.”

“Angel, you sound like you are an old person and they are teenagers…” Raphaëlle said before kissing him on the cheek. Aziraphale blushed a little because she gave her a ‘you-sometimes-sound-so-old-fashion-but-you-are-cute-and-I-love-you’ kiss.

“I know but you love me, so you are stuck with an old person!”

“Yes, I do.” Raphaëlle gave him another kiss.

“You really are too cute together!” Anathema said.

“Did you know that the facebook page of the campus talks about you?” asked Gabriel.

“What? Where? About what? I want to see it!” Of course, Crowley was excited about it.

“Apparently, they decided to discuss professors’ personal lives and they are making bets about which professor is with which. You are the safe bet and the cutest one according the most recent polls.”

“How did you see this Gabriel?” Aziraphale was also curious about it.

“I have a fake account. They didn’t spot me. Look.”

Gabriel took out his phone and they started to scroll through the feed together. Some theories about other professors were a little crazy but they had some couples right. It was really respectful, and the students were, in majority, really sweet in their comments. The administrators of the page must have done an excellent job. All four of them laughed at jokes about each of their classes and the evening went by. An hour later, Gabriel had to go, and Anathema went with him.

“See you tomorrow, guys! Don’t drink too much.”

“Good night Anathema. Good night Gabriel. Be safe.” Aziraphale did a last wave when they left the bar and then turned to face Raphaëlle. “What do you want to do tonight, darling?”

“Can I tempt you to a bath with me at my place and some dinner?” said Crowley very suggestively.

“Temptation accomplished, my love!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thanks to my amazing [@Lovethistoomuch](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lovethistoomuch/pseuds/Lovethistoomuch). 
> 
> Hope you are having a good lockdown and you SEE THE VIDEO OF AZIRAPHALE AND CROWLEY DURING LOCKDOWN. I am here for the fanfictions on this. I had some health issues and I'm better now. I'm still working on my stories and they will be finished :D 
> 
> This chapter is based on personal experiences : the date with Bee and Gab' is one of mine. Worst restaurant ever. And the professor spying on the facebook group ... Well ... Maybe I have a colleague too ... O:) 
> 
> If you have sweet fanfictions of Good Omens, please share them with me. I need new sweet stories in my life <3


	27. Have you ever been in Paris at night ?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Paris, Tender Sex and Date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my beta who motivates me writing my stories <3 [@Lovethistoomuch](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lovethistoomuch/pseuds/Lovethistoomuch)

Aziraphale was waiting for Crowley at the foot of the stairs leading to the Eurostar part of the ‘gare du nord’. If he loved Paris, he hated Paris’ train stations. On photographs or postcards, the city always looked beautiful and clean. Certainly, Paris had its charm, but its stations were totally dispossessed of it. Taking the metro at a rush hour was an unpleasant experience in England, and that was absolutely not changing even though he was in another country and on the continent. The ‘Gare du Nord’ was one of those impressive buildings, not because of its architecture but because of the number of people using it. One of the biggest in Europe according to the information he saw during his trip on the Eurostar. And even in the early afternoon, when Aziraphale was waiting for his girlfriend, it was swarming with people waiting for their train. The access to the RER was still the worst **of all**. The urge to take a taxi was great, especially since Raphaëlle would have luggage and it would be the perfect excuse.

Cheking once again, the notice board finally announced that her Eurostar had arrived, a message on his phone confirmed this information.

‘Almost here angel! <3’

The blond man's heart was beating a little bit harder than usual. Their first weekend together seemed to come a little late in their relationship. He and Crowley had been together for more than six months, and although they had been with Crowley's family, they hadn't taken a real vacation together, just the two of them. Both of them had realized this when they were planning their getaway to Paris. Another reason, not so openly stated, that they had not planned for the summer holidays was that the beginning, even at their age, was uncertain.

After discussing it, they had promised to look into going away together in August. Crowley wanted to spend a few days at her parents' house as she did every year, but apart from that, they had talked about spending a few days in the country, in a cottage ... On condition, Raphaëlle said, that it would be near a beach or that there would be a swimming pool. Swimming was one of her priorities during the holidays and Aziraphale liked the idea of seeing her in a swimsuit so often. She had described it to him, and it was very interesting.

Anyway, this weekend would be a great first. All the planning Aziraphale had wanted to do had gone out the window. While Aziraphale had wanted to prepare their time a little bit scrupulously, Raphaëlle hadn’t quite agreed. After having managed to negotiate at least to prepare the outings for which they would need tickets, he had given up his desire for a fixed program, because, apparently, it wasn't 'spontaneous enough and, frankly, angel, in the City of Lights, what better way to go than to let yourself be carried away.'

Crowley was much more relaxed than he was and had persuaded him not only with her little speech but also by opening a tab on the Paris Opera website to see what was being performed during their weekend. After his girlfriend had offered him tickets to see Madame Butterfly on the Saturday of their stay, he had accepted the idea that deciding which museums to visit could wait until the last moment.

One of the problems in Paris was also the French ... Not the French people, well, yes but no, whatever ... It was a debate that Aziraphale could have without too much trouble. But French. Who invented that language? Seriously, even with knowing the basics, he wasn’t really understood. Luckily, restaurants and shops had employees who spoke English, only it wasn't always enough. For him, reading was not so much of a problem for him, but then speaking. That was another matter. He had tried it the day before his conference with the teachers present. It had been a colossal failure.

His thoughts stopped when he saw his partner coming down the stairs. God, every time he saw her, he felt like a teenager seeing his crush. He wasn't a teenager anymore, and Crowley was definitely more than just a crush, but seeing her every time gave him that butterfly feeling in his stomach (and sometimes lower. Some of her outfits were really deadly for him. Yoga pants were always ranked first, but he would probably never admit it. He didn't really need to anyway.) Raphaëlle's hair was all up in a neglected bun and her black jeans left little room for imagination. She was perfect as always. As soon as their eyes met, she smiled at him and if that wasn't the most beautiful thing in the world.

"Hey, my angel! I missed you!"

Crowley kissed him tenderly on the lips after that, and Aziraphale felt himself blush as she stuck her tongue in his mouth and the kiss slowly turned into something inappropriate in public. But, after all, they were on a weekend in the ‘most romantic city’ on Earth. It would be a shame not to enjoy it too. So Aziraphale let himself go and returned the kiss. Raphaëlle had put on the perfume he had given her after one of her shopping sessions with Anathema. Crowley had come back with much less clothes than expected, but she had told him about their visit to at Sephora where they had smelled all the perfumes they could find. She had hesitated to take Kenzo's Flower. He had offered it to her on their next date (well, date ... They practically lived together but in two places at the same time. So, it was the next day). He loved that perfume on her. The poppy looked particularly good on her skin and it matched with the color of her hair. Separating from her lips was a form of torture.

"Good afternoon, my love. How was your trip? You're not too tired?" Aziraphale placed one last kiss on her cheek. "If you want, you can have a coffee to go and we can take a taxi to the hotel to drop off your suitcase." He had continued the reservation made by the faculty until Monday, both of them having been able to slightly postpone their classes (a little miracle). The hotel wasn't located in an overly touristy neighborhood, but it was close enough to ‘le quartier latin’ to get there on foot. "Let me take your suitcase.”

"All right, coffee first, hotel next, but we'll probably go faster by transport. Thanks for the suitcase, love."

"Taxi for now. Let's go get the sugar bomb you're going to complain about it because it's not 'real coffee', but you'll like it anyway." He apparently was in a teasing mood. He had missed her. 

"I don't!" Crowley folded her arms and walked away towards the cafe. They both knew she was going to do it. She only drank 'real' coffee at home and didn't want to admit that she loved the sugar and milk-filled version.

Aziraphale followed her and they lined up to get the indecent beverage.

"How did your lecture go this morning?" Raphaëlle asked after putting her arm around his waist. She had really missed Aziraphale last night. She wasn't so used to sleeping alone anymore. She would have to talk about it before too long, but she didn't want to maybe ruin their first romantic weekend as a couple. It would have to wait until they got back.

"Wonderfully. The ‘amphithéâtre’ was rather full and the interventions of the professors were really interesting. Sometimes it was hard to follow the discussions in French but, I had read them before, so everything went very well. I wish you could have come.”

"I know, Aziraphale, I'm sorry." She kissed him on his cheek after she picked up her coffee. "You know I couldn't miss my department meeting this morning, right?”

"Of course, my love. I know and you shouldn’t be sorry. It wasn't a reproach to you. Just a statement. Come on, now that you got your coffee, let's go drop off your stuff."

After choosing the wrong side of the station to find a taxi, they arrived at the hotel. It was a single room with a double bed and a television in front of it. The bathroom had an Italian shower. Everything was quite modern. The only thing the blond man didn't really like was the sheets. The sheets in hotel rooms were never the same as the ones you could have at home and the feeling was not the most pleasant.

The special touch of this room was that the mirror was placed in a corner which gave a view of a large part of the bed. This fact had given Aziraphale ideas that had been shared the day before with Raphaëlle during a message conversation which had, as a result, quickly drifted off.

"I'm going to take a shower, angel. I won't be long.”

"Take your time, dear. We don't have anything special to do, and time is on our side, so we might as well make the most of it.”

For the afternoon, they had decided to take a walk in the ‘quartier latin’. The ‘jardins du Luxembourg’ and the ‘Pantheon’ would suffice. If they felt like it, they could go as far as ‘Notre-Dame’. The afternoon was still young. Aziraphale sat down on the bed after taking off his jacket and shoes. Outside, it was warm enough that he did not need to wear a coat, which was nice for the beginning of May. He took his book from the bedside table to keep himself busy. Caught by his book, he barely heard the water stop running or the bathroom door open. Feeling pressure on the mattress, he looked up to see Crowley straddle his lap.

“Darling, what are you doing ?”

“Mmmmh, me? Nothing.” She said while kissing his neck and taking the book to discard it on the bed. She was totally naked, and he was fully clothed. She bit his neck gently. “Do you know what your texts did to me yesterday? You weren’t in bed with me and you were talking about what you wanted to do to me in front of a mirror.”

The kiss she gave him next was filthy and everything Aziraphale wanted. Well, they were on a romantic week-end, and his girlfriend wanted to have sex, who was he to say no? When they parted, his breath was irregular, and he was ready. The difference between their state of undress added to the heat he was feeling. While kissing, he untied her hair and let his free hand play on her back.

“If we start this, I’m not sure we’ll be out soon, my dear.”

“Do you have anywhere to be?” Raphaëlle started to unbutton his shirt, kissing his collarbone and each patch of skin that came free.

“We are in Paris. It would be good to enjoy it.”

“Mmmmh mmmhh.” She couldn’t really talk because she was licking his left nipple slowly. “We are, yes. And I want to start my weekend by having my first hotel sex with my partner. So, stop talking and use your mouth.”

She put her mouth on Aziraphale’s lips and he couldn’t talk anymore. He really didn’t want to. She smelled of her soap, not the hotel one, and her perfume was still on her. Putting his hand in her hair, he deepened the kiss. Their intimacy wasn’t new anymore. They knew each others' bodies, what they liked, how they reacted. It was thrilling. They were in this space where they could explore further, communicate their needs because it was easy. The pressure against his hip, the hard kisses, the speed with which they took Aziraphale’s clothes off indicated this was something quick, driven by lust and passion.

Once (finally) naked, Aziraphale rolled them both over so he was on top of Crowley. With their cocks aligned, they could slowly rut against each other. With self-restraint, he stopped to grab the lube he had stocked in the side table (they had had a very good text conversation last night…). Aziraphale poured some on both of them and took them both in hand.

“We could have done this before you showered, dear.” Kissing her neck, he started a slow movement with his hand. He was almost on the edge, but he didn’t want to come yet.

“What would have been the fun in that? After this, we are having shower sex.” She gasped when Aziraphale stroked only the head of her cock while kissing her nipples.

“We don’t have the bodies for that, and you know that. We are not so young anymore.” This was one of the things Aziraphale liked the most, how they could talk, and play, and give each other pleasure without thinking about it.

“Well, we can try!”

After that, it was quick. They stoked each other, gasping, kissing where they could, murmuring some words of love because they didn’t need a reason. It was familiar and when they came, they were kissing each other. They didn’t stop, smearing some of their release on each others' bodies as they kissed tenderly.

“I love you. I’m so glad you are here with me.” Aziraphale said after kissing the tip of Crowley’s nose. He stood up and went to the bathroom to clean himself, but before he opened the door, he noticed that Raphaëlle hadn’t followed. “What are you doing, darling?”

“Admiring your arse…”

“My ass will be in the shower if you want to see it more closely, my dear.”

Raphaëlle followed him, unsurprisingly.

They spent the late afternoon walking around the ‘quartier latin’. Raphaëlle had been in Paris before, but it had been a few years and it didn't have the same flavour with Aziraphale. It was so much better! The blond man showed her where he had had his conference, near the Panthéon. The university buildings were rather beautiful. They passed by ‘les jardins du Luxembourg’ after having an ice cream each. Aziraphale detailed his lecture at the Sorbonne. He had been friends with a professor of French and comparative literature for some years. She had contacted him while he was still a student for his thesis, and they had established links. Already thinking of a future lecture, he was thinking of inviting her.

"She would like to meet you. I informed her I weren’t sure if we were available this weekend." Aziraphale smiled. ‘Les jardins du Luxembourg’ was full of students and full of life.

"Why, Aziraphale? Don't you want to share me? "Crowley grinned but he knew she was glad about it.

"I want to spend this time with you and you alone, my darling.”

Aziraphale kissed her and the taste of their respective ice creams blended: vanilla and strawberry. The mix was perfect.

"I'm so glad that’s what you want, angel. Have you already figured out which restaurant you'd like to eat at tonight?" The blond looked at her with surprise so she continued. "I've known you since we were teenagers **,** I know you spot that kind of thing, don't be so surprise.”

Aziraphale felt slightly flushed. "I may have seen a restaurant near the hotel that might be interesting for tonight.”

"My perfect angel." Crowley removed her arm to lace her hand with Aziraphale's. "If we walk out this way, we can make our way to Notre Dame and the edges of the Seine.”

"Do you read French?”

"Not really, but I can read 'Notre Dame' and 'Seine'. Come, angel. I want to take pictures of us on a bridge.”

The late afternoon went like this. They went to Notre Dame, forgetting that it was being repaired. Near the cathedral, a small church was hiding next to an English bookstore, which Aziraphale insisted on entering.

"Angel, it's an English bookstore, it's all we have at home!”

"It's an English bookshop in France! Wait here if you don't want to see it.”

Of course, Raphaëlle followed. The bookstore was much bigger inside than it seemed, and Aziraphale almost had the impression of being in England, hearing so many English people around him. The second floor was filled with old books on shelves, a piano and places to read. He didn't buy anything because buying English books in France would be a bit too much even for him, but he exited the store feeling happy.

They went down to the docks to walk for a few moments. The late afternoon sun gave the place a magical air somewhat broken by the number of tourists, but he could not complain when they themselves were among them.

Raphaëlle took out her phone and took a few pictures before insisting that she and Aziraphale take pictures together. The blond man didn't like to play this game so much, but he couldn't resist his girlfriend's request for long. They lost themselves a little in their exploration and their photos. They were fascinated by the vendors on the quays of the Seine with second-hand books, maps and reprinted paintings. Night was beginning to fall when they wondered what time it might be. Plenty of time to go to the restaurant, if there was room. Aziraphale thought that maybe they should have made a reservation. Fortunately, the little Parisian bistro had enough room for them. After having had time to look at the cards, the waiter came to take their order.

“Bonsoir.” _("Good evening."_ ) The waiters in Paris were always in a hurry and you could feel it as soon as they greeted you. « Si vous avez eu le temps de choisir, puis-je prendre votre commande ? » ( _"If you've had time to choose, may I take your order?”_ )

“Yes, thank you.” Azirpahale didn’t want to try his French right now. “We would like a ‘coq au vin’ and a ‘boeuf bourguignon’. Could we also have a bottle of you ‘Pommard 2015’, please?”

“Yes, sir, right away.” Ah, the French accent.

The waiter left as quickly as he arrived. Aziraphale took Raphaela's hand and brought it to her mouth to kiss it. 

"You look beautiful, my love."

Raphaëlle's pink cheeks were always a gift when he paid her a compliment. If he hadn't already been over it, he'd be banging his head against the table for letting so many years go by without seeing each other.

"Thank you, angel. You're not bad yourself.” She winked at him.

The waiter reappeared to let them taste the wine, which they approved of, like any normal person at the restaurant when the waiter gave the wine to be tasted.

"How's your father? Have you heard from him?”

Daniel had caught a violent flu and had not been well for several days which had particularly worried Catherine, especially when the doctor told her that he needed rest and hydration but that apart from that, there was nothing to be done.

"Yes, he was better this morning, his fever was gone.”

"I'm relieved for him. Your mother sounded really worried when you got her on the phone the day before yesterday.”

"I got a call before I called you yesterday and she was reassured. I would have hesitated to leave otherwise, but she was very sure of herself and the state of my father.

Catherine and Daniel had become real in-laws for Aziraphale. As soon as they were on the phone with Raphaëlle, they asked for news and sometimes even asked to speak directly to Aziraphale, which made Crowley blush. He was convinced that he had heard Catherine tell him that she was just waiting for their wedding invitation. It was a nice idea in itself, but Aziraphale already wanted to move in with her and didn't know how to bring the subject up. Maybe tonight would be a good idea. Or not.

"Are you alright, angel?"

"Yes, of course, dear. Why are you asking?"

Crowley took his hands and, immediately, the stress he didn't know he was holding just went away.

"You looked far away. Penny for your thoughts?"

"I was just thinking how this weekend with you, in this city, is a pure delight. I am so very pleased to be here, and you look so beautiful."

The red on his girlfriend's cheeks was unmistakable. Crowley fled his gaze before coming back to look him straight in the eye and, Aziraphale was convinced, scanned his soul. Raphaëlle delicately placed her hand on Aziraphale's hand, who couldn't repress a shiver.

"Angel, I'm so glad we are here, together."

"Maybe we should stay together."

Crowley chuckled. "Of course, we'll stay together!"

"No, what I mean is..."

The waiter came back at that exact moment. It wasn't as if Aziraphale was already having trouble speaking. When the waiter left them, he realized what the redhead had just said. Being together was obvious... For both of them.

Tasting the dishes took them out of their conversation. The wine was excellent. The food was excellent too. Also, they started a completely different conversation about the trips they had taken as young people. They both agreed that they should definitely visit Italy together. A project for a few months from now, surely.

"So, what did you mean, angel?" Knowing Crowley, Aziraphale had no doubt that she'd let the subject go; and promised herself to bring it up again at the first opportunity.

"Um, well..." Aziraphale couldn't help but make a nervous gesture with his hands hidden under the table. Raphaelle's raised eyebrow proved to him that she knew exactly what he was doing.

"Relax, Aziraphale." She took his hand in hers and stroked the palm with her thumb. "Whatever is on your mind, you know you can tell me, right?”

This simple gesture and these simple words made him relax and Aziraphale began to speak again. "With all the time we spend together, I wondered if it wouldn't be better to live together." The stress kept him going. "I would understand if you're not ready for that, of course. After all, we haven't been together that long, but on the rare occasions when we're not together, I miss you. And, there's no pressure, obviously. If you don't want this, nothing will change between us, and..."

Crowley interrupted him. "Angel, stop and breath." The interruption was sweet. Raphael took Aziraphale's hand and after bringing it to her lips, she kissed him. "I would love to live with you.”

"Oh... Oh! Right. I am so glad you feel this way."

"Me too, angel. I'd started thinking about it and I was probably going to tell you once we got back. "I love you and I want to spend more and more time with you.”

Aziraphale smiled at her with the smile that had earned him his nickname of angel. "I love you too.”

They toasted and continued to eat while planning for the next day. There was so much to see and so little time, but both had no doubt that they would return to Paris.

After finishing their food, they ordered dessert and ended the evening pleasantly drunk. Raphaëlle got up to 'powder her nose' before leaving. She got up and started to go to the toilet but stopped next to Aziraphale who looked at her. She bent down and whispered in his ear.

"I can't wait for you to be naked in our hotel bed to celebrate our holiday and moving in together. I'm gonna take care of you, angel, and love e-ve-ry part of your beautiful body."

When she returned, Aziraphale was still blushing but there was no doubt in his eyes that they agreed on how to spend the rest of the evening...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys, if you have read this chapter, thank you for still following this story or welcome if you are new. The last two months have been a bit crazy. I moved in my new appartment. I applied to a new job (well it's the same one but I had to apply in a lot of universities so ...) 
> 
> I'm back on writing. I will first finish this story before moving on my other one (except if the mood strike and my holidays are coming so I might be). I may add a few more chapters cause I have so much pleasure writing with them <3 
> 
> This chapter was brought to you by a french who loves pointing out things about her own country/city !


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